Conspiracy of Doves
2005-04-11 15:05:33 UTC
Ovulation versus cretinism
Two different theories exist concerning the origin of children: the
theory of sexual reproduction, and the theory of the stork. Many people
believe in the theory of sexual reproduction because they have been
taught this theory at school.
In reality, however, many of the world's leading scientists are in
favour of the theory of the stork. If the theory of sexual reproduction
is taught in schools, it must only be taught as a theory and not as the
truth. Alternative theories, such as the theory of the stork, must also
be taught.
Evidence supporting the theory of the stork includes the following:
1. It is a scientifically established fact that the stork does exist.
This can be confirmed by every ornithologist.
2. The alledged human foetal development contains several features that
the theory of sexual reproduction is unable to explain.
3. The theory of sexual reproduction implies that a child is
approximately nine months old at birth. This is an absurd claim.
Everyone knows that a newborn child is newborn.
4. According to the theory of sexual reproduction, children are a
result of sexual intercourse. There are, however, several well
documented cases where sexual intercourse has not led to the birth of a
child.
5. Statistical studies in the Netherlands have indicated a positive
correlation between the birth rate and the number of storks. Both are
decreasing.
6. The theory of the stork can be investigated by rigorous scientific
methods. The only assumption involved is that children are delivered by
the stork.
(Original version by Erkki Aalto, Dept. of Obstetrics, Gynaecology and
Stork Science, University of Helsinki --- English version by Jopi
Louko, Institute of Stork Research, University of Alberta)
Two different theories exist concerning the origin of children: the
theory of sexual reproduction, and the theory of the stork. Many people
believe in the theory of sexual reproduction because they have been
taught this theory at school.
In reality, however, many of the world's leading scientists are in
favour of the theory of the stork. If the theory of sexual reproduction
is taught in schools, it must only be taught as a theory and not as the
truth. Alternative theories, such as the theory of the stork, must also
be taught.
Evidence supporting the theory of the stork includes the following:
1. It is a scientifically established fact that the stork does exist.
This can be confirmed by every ornithologist.
2. The alledged human foetal development contains several features that
the theory of sexual reproduction is unable to explain.
3. The theory of sexual reproduction implies that a child is
approximately nine months old at birth. This is an absurd claim.
Everyone knows that a newborn child is newborn.
4. According to the theory of sexual reproduction, children are a
result of sexual intercourse. There are, however, several well
documented cases where sexual intercourse has not led to the birth of a
child.
5. Statistical studies in the Netherlands have indicated a positive
correlation between the birth rate and the number of storks. Both are
decreasing.
6. The theory of the stork can be investigated by rigorous scientific
methods. The only assumption involved is that children are delivered by
the stork.
(Original version by Erkki Aalto, Dept. of Obstetrics, Gynaecology and
Stork Science, University of Helsinki --- English version by Jopi
Louko, Institute of Stork Research, University of Alberta)