George Dance
2014-01-20 02:01:38 UTC
In alt.arts.poetry.comments on Fri, 17 Jan 2014 06:06:39 -0500, Will
George Dunce to plead with me for the privilege of being allowed to
"publish" some deliberately bad verse that I'd posted under a
pseudonym.
Since neither PJ nor "Julius W" were posting to aapc at the time, regular readers will have no idea what he's talking about. So I think it would be entertaining to let them read what actually happened.A shame you aren't as good a poet as you are troll, isn't it?
One of my favourite trolls was the one in which I induced your BFFGeorge Dunce to plead with me for the privilege of being allowed to
"publish" some deliberately bad verse that I'd posted under a
pseudonym.
Here's my first post to RAP on the subject. (At the end, it explains what I was doing on RAP, which I'd left a year previously).
<quote>
RONDEAU I : "You've eaten all the biscuits..."
You've eaten all the biscuits! I come back,
tired after eight hours' earning biscuit-money,
dreaming of tastes of cocoa-nut or honey,
you've eaten all the biscuits!
Don't think this day-time feast of yours is funny.
In olden times they'd put you on the rack
for off'ring me no biscuits but a lack
thereof. See, blood, like melted cream, is runny,
and yours is red like jam.... Who wouldn't crack?
You've eaten all the biscuits!
Written by Julius W.
Posted to rec.arts.poems on Friday, 16th April 2010.
No biscuits or women were harmed in the writing of this poem!
Be gentle, please, but be honest.
Honestly, it's technically very well done. The rhymes are allYou've eaten all the biscuits! I come back,
tired after eight hours' earning biscuit-money,
dreaming of tastes of cocoa-nut or honey,
you've eaten all the biscuits!
Don't think this day-time feast of yours is funny.
In olden times they'd put you on the rack
for off'ring me no biscuits but a lack
thereof. See, blood, like melted cream, is runny,
and yours is red like jam.... Who wouldn't crack?
You've eaten all the biscuits!
Written by Julius W.
Posted to rec.arts.poems on Friday, 16th April 2010.
No biscuits or women were harmed in the writing of this poem!
Be gentle, please, but be honest.
'natural' -- no inversions, or other strange speech patterns -- and a
couple of them are surprises: rack and runny, for example.
Content-wise, it's just light verse. But so what? It was
entertaining.
It even hit home. I got the idea 'biscuits' were cookies -- I've got
the idea they're called 'biscuits' in England -- and I've been eating
a lot of cookies since I gave up cigarettes 40 or so days ago. We'd be
completely out right now, if not for some helpful Girl Guides who came
to our door earlier in the week.
(BTW, I dnn't read RAP a lot these days. I saw the copy of your sonnet
that Will Dockery crossposted to AAPC, and came over to read more by
you.)
</q>
And my second:
<quote>
On a second read, I don't like 'off'ring', and I don't think it reads
quite right. i'd suggest:
for leaving me not biscuits but a lack
</q>
And here's the third, after I'd gone over the poor boy's work:
<quote>
After multiple readings -- and, yes, your rondeau is worth multiple
readings -- i'd recommend a few other word changes. Rather than talk
about them, i thought i'd just show them to you by putting them all in
one edit;
Rondeau I: "You've eaten all the biscuits!"
You've eaten all the biscuits! I come back,
fatigued from eight hours' earning biscuit-money,
dreaming of tastes of coconut and honey,
to find no biscuits, just an empty pack:
you've eaten all the biscuits!
Don't think this daytime feast of yours is funny.
In olden days they'd put you on the rack
for leaving me not biscuits but a lack
thereof. See, blood, like melted cream, is runny,
and yours is red as jam.... Who wouldn't crack?
You've eaten all the biscuits!
---
Julius W.
As i've told you in emails you may not have seen, i'd like to hear
from you asap. if you see this post, please reply.
</q>
It needed work, but it's far better than anything that PJ posted under his own name in the past 7 years (except for "Hymn to the Virgin", of course).
We've heard a lot less about Dunce the "publisher" since I
inflicted that particular humiliation on him.
The Penny Blog is still going, and I'm still publishing poetry on it. You haven't heard about that? I must not be advertising it enough on aapc.inflicted that particular humiliation on him.
Eschewing false modesty, I think that the "Julius Wyatt" troll might
have been the second best AAPC troll of all time
Actually, that was not an "AAPC troll" at all; all of that happened on RAP. When "Julius" did later show up on aapc, what happened was that, like any new poster, he got flamed by PJ's toadies, ggamble and ggwyneth.have been the second best AAPC troll of all time
But that's another story, which aapc readers can read for themselves if they wish:
https://groups.google.com/forum/?hl=en#!topic/alt.arts.poetry.comments/Btgqo4W5fl8%5B1-25-false%5D