RIP Joe?

Post by Tony Bryer
Have I missed something, or is there a reason why Joe is having
an extended stay in the undertaker's fridge? Isn't 7-10 days
between death and funeral the norm unless special factors apply?

Not in our neck of the woods sadly, in Berkshire, funerals may be 3-4 weeks
hence K’ing TB.

--
Toodle Pip

Tony Smith Gloucestershire

2019-10-27 09:11:15 UTC

In Northern Ireland just a few days. Jill once had to drive overnight via Stranraer to the funeral of the husband of a cousin of her mother in Co. Antrim.

Nick Odell

2019-10-27 10:33:41 UTC

On Sun, 27 Oct 2019 02:11:15 -0700 (PDT), Tony Smith Gloucestershire

Post by Tony Smith Gloucestershire
In Northern Ireland just a few days. Jill once had to drive overnight via Stranraer to the funeral of the husband of a cousin of her mother in Co. Antrim.

In the Republic, as in many other Roman Catholic countries, the very
next day if at all possible, I believe.

Which lead to this response when the English employee of an Irish
company[1] went to his boss and asked if he could take off the
following Thursday to go to his father's funeral.

"Yes, of course, Joe. Of course, of course....

....of course....

....but how do you know he'll be dead next Thursday?"

Nick
[1]No Scotsmen were harmed in the making of this anecdote

Tony Bryer

2019-10-27 10:46:20 UTC

Post by Nick Odell
Which lead to this response when the English employee of an Irish
company[1] went to his boss and asked if he could take off the
following Thursday to go to his father's funeral.
"Yes, of course, Joe. Of course, of course....
.....of course....
.....but how do you know he'll be dead next Thursday?"

Back when I lived in UK our church denominational magazine had an
ad for diary-type software specifically for ministers that would
let them plan baptisms, weddings and *funerals* up to a year ahead.

--
Tony B, OzRat, Melbourne

Penny

2019-10-27 12:56:16 UTC

On Sun, 27 Oct 2019 09:01:04 GMT, Mike <***@ntlworld.com> scrawled
in the dust...

Post by Mike

Not in our neck of the woods sadly, in Berkshire, funerals may be 3-4 weeks
hence K’ing TB.

Religions and mandatory post-mortems aside, in my recent experience when
the funeral happens is entirely up to the person paying for it. I can't now
recall why we waited over 2 weeks after Ray died, probably just fitting in
around the timetables of the crem, the celebrant (if that's the right term)
and the undertaker. I know it was commented upon, I couldn't see the rush,
myself.

I've been to a couple of funerals since, also 2-3 weeks after the death. I
think getting the funds together may have been a factor there. A spouse can
get 'death benefit', no other relative can as far as I know.

--
Penny
Annoyed by The Archers since 1959

Vicky Ayech

2019-10-27 09:07:13 UTC

On Sun, 27 Oct 2019 18:00:00 +1100, Tony Bryer

I wondered about that. Jewish ones have to be asap, next day or in two
or three. I suppose left over from life 2k years ago inthe Middle East
when bodies rotted in the heat. I thought some usual UK burials had to
allow for family from afar to get to the funeral maybe. But is that
the case here? Or does it depend on how booked up the vicar is?

Nick Odell

2019-10-27 10:45:01 UTC

On Sun, 27 Oct 2019 09:07:13 +0000, Vicky Ayech

Post by Vicky Ayech
On Sun, 27 Oct 2019 18:00:00 +1100, Tony Bryer

I think the English in general are much more casual about appointments
for funerals and they are arranged more for the convenience of the
living than the speedy burial of the dead. And subject to an available
space in the schedule at the crem and/or a suitable hole in the ground
etc.

Unless there's to be a post-mortem, in Argentina a funeral will take
place the next working day or at the latest the day after that. In the
old days distant family and friends would only hear about the death
months later after the steamship had docked and the letters on board
had been sorted and sent. Nowadays the news arrives more or less
instantly and overseas relatives drop everything they are doing and at
enormous expense catch the next flight out and are there the next day
at the service.

Nick

krw

2019-10-27 11:04:16 UTC

Post by Nick Odell
Unless there's to be a post-mortem, in Argentina a funeral will take
place the next working day or at the latest the day after that.

And they used to be similarly quick in the UK. But then we had a bad
winter and a backlog developed and now a long gap seems inevitable as
they never caught up again. The bad winter happened about the same time
as heavy investment in storage facilities.

--
Kosmo Richard W
www.travelswmw.whitnet.uk
https://tinyurl.com/KRWpics

Fenny

2019-10-27 21:01:33 UTC

Post by Nick Odell
Unless there's to be a post-mortem, in Argentina a funeral will take
place the next working day or at the latest the day after that.

Our new-ish local crematorium does between 60 - 90 cremations a month,
which cover slightly over 50% of the deaths in the local area. This
works out at an average of 4 and a bit services a day. They have 2
chapels, but the car park space can be a little tight if there are
more than 2 sets of mourners at the same time, so they try to spread
them out a bit if possible until the new extension to the car park is
finished.

However, the capacity of the cremators, working on a 24 hour basis is
much higher than this. In the case of a major epidemic, when it would
be unlikely that there would be services, due to the risk of mourners
catching whatever was going about, they could cope with about 25 - 30
per day.

I may currently be doing an audit of said establishment, so have
certain key pieces of information stuck in my brain at the moment.

But the time is pretty much down to how quickly the paperwork can be
done and the family can make the arrangements and sort out the
schedule.

When my Gran died in 1986, she died on the Tuesday and the funeral was
on the Friday. I went on a trip to Sellafield Wednesday & Thursday.

When my aunt died in 2013, it was at least 2 weeks before the funeral
took place.

--
Fenny

BrritSki

2019-10-27 21:34:11 UTC

Post by Nick Odell
Unless there's to be a post-mortem, in Argentina a funeral will take
place the next working day or at the latest the day after that.

Our new-ish local crematorium does between 60 - 90 cremations a month,
which cover slightly over 50% of the deaths in the local area.

I suppose they can reduce the backlog a bit a week Tuesday assuming
people still burn Guys.

J. P. Gilliver (John)

2019-10-27 22:16:56 UTC

Post by Nick Odell
Unless there's to be a post-mortem, in Argentina a funeral will take
place the next working day or at the latest the day after that.

Our new-ish local crematorium does between 60 - 90 cremations a month,
which cover slightly over 50% of the deaths in the local area.

I suppose they can reduce the backlog a bit a week Tuesday assuming
people still burn Guys.

BTN - definitely, as I LOL!

--
J. P. Gilliver. UMRA: 1960/<1985 MB++G()AL-IS-Ch++(p)***@T+H+Sh0!:`)DNAf

But remember, in a permissive society, it is also permissible to stay at home
and have a nice cup of tea instead. Andrew Collins, RT 2015/2/14-20

Sid Nuncius

2019-10-28 06:02:34 UTC

Post by J. P. Gilliver (John)

Our new-ish local crematorium does between 60 - 90 cremations a month,
which cover slightly over 50% of the deaths in the local area.

I suppose they can reduce the backlog a bit a week Tuesday assuming
people still burn Guys.

BTN - definitely, as I LOL!

Not this time. Funny, but not sufficiently BT, I'm afraid.

--
Sid (Make sure Matron is away when you reply)

Penny

2019-10-28 08:27:34 UTC

On Sun, 27 Oct 2019 21:34:11 +0000, BrritSki <***@gmail.com>
scrawled in the dust...

Post by Nick Odell
Unless there's to be a post-mortem, in Argentina a funeral will take
place the next working day or at the latest the day after that.

Our new-ish local crematorium does between 60 - 90 cremations a month,
which cover slightly over 50% of the deaths in the local area.

I suppose they can reduce the backlog a bit a week Tuesday assuming
people still burn Guys.

My father was known as Guy - it was his second name. It bothered me, as a
small child, that people burnt Guys on November 5th.

The gorilla of the same name at London Zoo bothered me a bit too.

--
Penny
Annoyed by The Archers since 1959

BrritSki

2019-10-28 09:46:10 UTC

Post by Penny
scrawled in the dust...

Post by Nick Odell
Unless there's to be a post-mortem, in Argentina a funeral will take
place the next working day or at the latest the day after that.

Our new-ish local crematorium does between 60 - 90 cremations a month,
which cover slightly over 50% of the deaths in the local area.

I suppose they can reduce the backlog a bit a week Tuesday assuming
people still burn Guys.

My father was known as Guy - it was his second name. It bothered me, as a
small child, that people burnt Guys on November 5th.
The gorilla of the same name at London Zoo bothered me a bit too.

It's not widely known that his surname was Weinstein... #MeToo

Penny

2019-10-28 10:04:17 UTC

Post by Penny
My father was known as Guy - it was his second name. It bothered me, as a
small child, that people burnt Guys on November 5th.

After posting that I remembered a little boy (friend of a small cousin) who
suddenly became afraid of his father. It was eventually figured out that
he'd been watching Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons - his dad's name was
Ron.

--
Penny
Annoyed by The Archers since 1959

Nick Odell

2019-10-28 13:11:07 UTC

Post by Penny
scrawled in the dust...

Post by Nick Odell
Unless there's to be a post-mortem, in Argentina a funeral will take
place the next working day or at the latest the day after that.

Our new-ish local crematorium does between 60 - 90 cremations a month,
which cover slightly over 50% of the deaths in the local area.

I suppose they can reduce the backlog a bit a week Tuesday assuming
people still burn Guys.

My father was known as Guy - it was his second name. It bothered me, as a
small child, that people burnt Guys on November 5th.
The gorilla of the same name at London Zoo bothered me a bit too.

My parents always teased that, if I had been born two hours later,
they would have named me Guy. If that had actually happened I suspect
primary school life would have been even more uncomfortable than it
actually was and I never found out if they had been serious.

Nick

Mike

2019-10-28 08:36:14 UTC

Post by Nick Odell
Unless there's to be a post-mortem, in Argentina a funeral will take
place the next working day or at the latest the day after that.

Our new-ish local crematorium does between 60 - 90 cremations a month,
which cover slightly over 50% of the deaths in the local area.

I suppose they can reduce the backlog a bit a week Tuesday assuming
people still burn Guys.

BTN with bangers on!

--
Toodle Pip

Sid Nuncius

2019-10-28 08:50:08 UTC

Post by Nick Odell
Unless there's to be a post-mortem, in Argentina a funeral will take
place the next working day or at the latest the day after that.

Our new-ish local crematorium does between 60 - 90 cremations a month,
which cover slightly over 50% of the deaths in the local area.

I suppose they can reduce the backlog a bit a week Tuesday assuming
people still burn Guys.

BTN with bangers on!

I refer the honourable umrat to my previous answer.

--
Sid (Make sure Matron is away when you reply)

Mike

2019-10-28 08:34:49 UTC

Post by Nick Odell
Unless there's to be a post-mortem, in Argentina a funeral will take
place the next working day or at the latest the day after that.

Our new-ish local crematorium does between 60 - 90 cremations a month,
which cover slightly over 50% of the deaths in the local area. This
works out at an average of 4 and a bit services a day. They have 2
chapels, but the car park space can be a little tight if there are
more than 2 sets of mourners at the same time, so they try to spread
them out a bit if possible until the new extension to the car park is
finished.
However, the capacity of the cremators, working on a 24 hour basis is
much higher than this. In the case of a major epidemic, when it would
be unlikely that there would be services, due to the risk of mourners
catching whatever was going about, they could cope with about 25 - 30
per day.
I may currently be doing an audit of said establishment, so have
certain key pieces of information stuck in my brain at the moment.
But the time is pretty much down to how quickly the paperwork can be
done and the family can make the arrangements and sort out the
schedule.
When my Gran died in 1986, she died on the Tuesday and the funeral was
on the Friday. I went on a trip to Sellafield Wednesday & Thursday.
When my aunt died in 2013, it was at least 2 weeks before the funeral
took place.

The crem in Caversham seems to work flat out with 30 minutes per ‘client’
not a second longer or you’ll be tripping over the next client’s coffin.

--
Toodle Pip

Mike Ruddock

2019-10-28 08:49:55 UTC

Post by Nick Odell
Unless there's to be a post-mortem, in Argentina a funeral will take
place the next working day or at the latest the day after that.

The burning of bodies creates a lot of carbon dioxide (as well as other,
more noxious, gases) and uses a lot of combustible gas to get the
process going. Surely there will come a time when TPTB will declare that
it can no longer be allowed. As there are too few places for inhumation
(try booking your plot in your local cemetary) shall we be forced into
sky burial and the importation of flocks of vultures to supplement our
own carrion-eating birds?

Mike Ruddock

Post by Fenny
I may currently be doing an audit of said establishment, so have
certain key pieces of information stuck in my brain at the moment.
But the time is pretty much down to how quickly the paperwork can be
done and the family can make the arrangements and sort out the
schedule.
When my Gran died in 1986, she died on the Tuesday and the funeral was
on the Friday. I went on a trip to Sellafield Wednesday & Thursday.
When my aunt died in 2013, it was at least 2 weeks before the funeral
took place.

Mike

2019-10-28 09:07:31 UTC

Post by Mike Ruddock

Post by Nick Odell
Unless there's to be a post-mortem, in Argentina a funeral will take
place the next working day or at the latest the day after that.

What becomes of the huge number of vulture carcasses in due course? As mass
equals energy and one cannot destroy energy, there must be just as much
need for ‘removal’ as there ever was. I realise that the form of energy can
be altered, but it will still be there somewhere. Presumably, the earth
gains many (units) of solar energy every day though I don’t know how much
of this is dissipated into the outer atmosphere and beyond. Please discuss!

--
Toodle Pip

BrritSki

2019-10-28 09:49:52 UTC

Post by Mike Ruddock
The burning of bodies creates a lot of carbon dioxide

Ah but that only releases back the carbon taken up during the lifetime
of the deceased.

Some XR eco warrior was recently advocating eating the dead which I
suppose would save the gases used to get the cremation started...

Mike

2019-10-28 09:52:25 UTC

Post by Mike Ruddock
The burning of bodies creates a lot of carbon dioxide

Ah but that only releases back the carbon taken up during the lifetime
of the deceased.
Some XR eco warrior was recently advocating eating the dead which I
suppose would save the gases used to get the cremation started...

Might create some too.

--
Toodle Pip

John Ashby

2019-10-28 16:07:30 UTC

Post by Mike

Post by Mike Ruddock
The burning of bodies creates a lot of carbon dioxide

Ah but that only releases back the carbon taken up during the lifetime
of the deceased.
Some XR eco warrior was recently advocating eating the dead which I
suppose would save the gases used to get the cremation started...

Might create some too.

Human Beans?

john

J. P. Gilliver (John)

2019-10-28 19:17:52 UTC

Post by Mike Ruddock
The burning of bodies creates a lot of carbon dioxide

Ah but that only releases back the carbon taken up during the lifetime
of the deceased.
Some XR eco warrior was recently advocating eating the dead which I
suppose would save the gases used to get the cremation started...

Monty Python had a sketch based on that. (BT for those that don't know
it.) As well as whoever wrote Soylent Green, as has already been
mentioned (Ray Bradbury, was it?).

Post by John Ashby

Post by Mike
Might create some too.

Human Beans?
john

(-: (-: - not many can top Mike!

--
J. P. Gilliver. UMRA: 1960/<1985 MB++G()AL-IS-Ch++(p)***@T+H+Sh0!:`)DNAf

My movies rise below vulgarity. - Mel Brooks, quoted by Barry Norman in RT
2016/11/26-12/2

Steve Hague

2019-10-29 22:07:10 UTC

Post by J. P. Gilliver (John)

Post by Mike Ruddock
The burning of bodies creates a lot of carbon dioxide

Ah but that only releases back the carbon taken up during the lifetime
of the deceased.
Some XR eco warrior was recently advocating eating the dead which I
suppose would save the gases used to get the cremation started...

Monty Python had a sketch based on that. (BT for those that don't know
it.) As well as whoever wrote Soylent Green, as has already been
mentioned (Ray Bradbury, was it?).

Harry Harrison I think, and the book was called Make Room! Make Room!
Steve

Kate B

2019-10-30 11:40:49 UTC

Post by J. P. Gilliver (John)

Post by Steve Hague

Post by Mike Ruddock
The burning of bodies creates a lot of carbon dioxide

Ah but that only releases back the carbon taken up during the lifetime
of the deceased.
Some XR eco warrior was recently advocating eating the dead which I
suppose would save the gases used to get the cremation started...

Monty Python had a sketch based on that. (BT for those that don't know
it.) As well as whoever wrote Soylent Green, as has already been
mentioned (Ray Bradbury, was it?).

Harry Harrison I think, and the book was called Make Room! Make Room!
Steve,

Not to forget a little later than Harry Harrison, the tremendous
Alasdair Gray's epic 'Lanark', on the same topic only more. Much, much,
more.

--
Kate B
London

Nick Odell

2019-10-28 13:28:39 UTC

On Mon, 28 Oct 2019 08:49:55 +0000, Mike Ruddock

Post by Mike Ruddock
The burning of bodies creates a lot of carbon dioxide (as well as other,
more noxious, gases) and uses a lot of combustible gas to get the
process going. Surely there will come a time when TPTB will declare that
it can no longer be allowed. As there are too few places for inhumation
(try booking your plot in your local cemetary) shall we be forced into
sky burial and the importation of flocks of vultures to supplement our
own carrion-eating birds?

Alternatively, we could load all the carcases into shipping containers
and send them to south east Asia falsely labelled as waste paper and
recyclables.
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2019/may/28/treated-like-trash-south-east-asia-vows-to-return-mountains-of-rubbish-from-west

Nick

steveski

2019-10-28 13:41:28 UTC

[]

Post by Mike Ruddock

Post by Fenny
Our new-ish local crematorium does between 60 - 90 cremations a month,
which cover slightly over 50% of the deaths in the local area. This
works out at an average of 4 and a bit services a day. They have 2
chapels, but the car park space can be a little tight if there are more
than 2 sets of mourners at the same time, so they try to spread them
out a bit if possible until the new extension to the car park is
finished.
However, the capacity of the cremators, working on a 24 hour basis is
much higher than this. In the case of a major epidemic, when it would
be unlikely that there would be services, due to the risk of mourners
catching whatever was going about, they could cope with about 25 - 30
per day.

The answer, to 2000 A.D. fans, is obvious. ReSyk.

:-)

--
Steveski

Nick Leverton

2019-10-28 13:54:14 UTC

Post by steveski
[]

Post by Mike Ruddock

The answer, to 2000 A.D. fans, is obvious. ReSyk.
:-)

Do you want Soylent with that ?

Nick

--
"The Internet, a sort of ersatz counterfeit of real life"
-- Janet Street-Porter, BBC2, 19th March 1996

Sid Nuncius

2019-10-28 17:58:21 UTC

The answer, to 2000 A.D. fans, is obvious. ReSyk.
:-)

Do you want Soylent with that ?

Wouldn't that produce more greenhouse gases? Hence the phrase "Soylent
but deadly".

--
Sid (Make sure Matron is away when you reply)

BrritSki

2019-10-28 19:00:31 UTC

The answer, to 2000 A.D. fans, is obvious. ReSyk.
:-)

Do you want Soylent with that ?

Wouldn't that produce more greenhouse gases? Hence the phrase "Soylent
but deadly".

YARichardBurgon[1]AICM5BrexitUturns

The Farter of the House M'Lud
<https://order-order.com/2015/05/27/big-feartie-which-snp-mp-gassed-the-chamber/>

Nick Odell

2019-10-28 19:38:58 UTC

On Mon, 28 Oct 2019 19:00:31 +0000, BrritSki

The answer, to 2000 A.D. fans, is obvious. ReSyk.
:-)

Do you want Soylent with that ?

Wouldn't that produce more greenhouse gases? Hence the phrase "Soylent
but deadly".

YARichardBurgon[1]AICM5BrexitUturns
The Farter of the House M'Lud
<https://order-order.com/2015/05/27/big-feartie-which-snp-mp-gassed-the-chamber/>

That is so childish.

However my infantile sense of humour found it enormously funny.

Thank you!

Nick

BrritSki

2019-10-28 21:28:32 UTC

Post by Nick Odell
On Mon, 28 Oct 2019 19:00:31 +0000, BrritSki

The answer, to 2000 A.D. fans, is obvious. ReSyk.
:-)

Do you want Soylent with that ?

Wouldn't that produce more greenhouse gases? Hence the phrase "Soylent
but deadly".

YARichardBurgon[1]AICM5BrexitUturns
The Farter of the House M'Lud
<https://order-order.com/2015/05/27/big-feartie-which-snp-mp-gassed-the-chamber/>

That is so childish.
However my infantile sense of humour found it enormously funny.

YANAOU

Paul Herber

2019-10-28 09:32:40 UTC

Post by Nick Odell
Unless there's to be a post-mortem, in Argentina a funeral will take
place the next working day or at the latest the day after that.

Our new-ish local crematorium does between 60 - 90 cremations a month,
which cover slightly over 50% of the deaths in the local area. This
works out at an average of 4 and a bit services a day. They have 2
chapels, but the car park space can be a little tight if there are
more than 2 sets of mourners at the same time, so they try to spread
them out a bit if possible until the new extension to the car park is
finished.
However, the capacity of the cremators, working on a 24 hour basis is
much higher than this. In the case of a major epidemic, when it would
be unlikely that there would be services, due to the risk of mourners
catching whatever was going about, they could cope with about 25 - 30
per day.
I may currently be doing an audit of said establishment, so have
certain key pieces of information stuck in my brain at the moment.
But the time is pretty much down to how quickly the paperwork

Can't they afford proper firelighters?

--
Regards, Paul Herber
https://www.paulherber.co.uk/

Mike

2019-10-28 09:44:38 UTC

Post by Paul Herber

Post by Nick Odell
Unless there's to be a post-mortem, in Argentina a funeral will take
place the next working day or at the latest the day after that.

Our new-ish local crematorium does between 60 - 90 cremations a month,
which cover slightly over 50% of the deaths in the local area. This
works out at an average of 4 and a bit services a day. They have 2
chapels, but the car park space can be a little tight if there are
more than 2 sets of mourners at the same time, so they try to spread
them out a bit if possible until the new extension to the car park is
finished.
However, the capacity of the cremators, working on a 24 hour basis is
much higher than this. In the case of a major epidemic, when it would
be unlikely that there would be services, due to the risk of mourners
catching whatever was going about, they could cope with about 25 - 30
per day.
I may currently be doing an audit of said establishment, so have
certain key pieces of information stuck in my brain at the moment.
But the time is pretty much down to how quickly the paperwork

Can't they afford proper firelighters?

In Joe’s case, perhaps they would do better to find Carmen, an old flame?

--
Toodle Pip

Sam Plusnet

2019-10-28 19:44:46 UTC

Post by Mike

Post by Paul Herber

Post by Fenny
But the time is pretty much down to how quickly the paperwork

Can't they afford proper firelighters?

In Joe’s case, perhaps they would do better to find Carmen, an old flame?

We could look to aviation to provide a pilot light.

(Or keep a lighterman on standby)

--
Sam Plusnet

BrritSki

2019-10-28 09:58:30 UTC

Post by Paul Herber

Post by Nick Odell
Unless there's to be a post-mortem, in Argentina a funeral will take
place the next working day or at the latest the day after that.

Our new-ish local crematorium does between 60 - 90 cremations a month,
which cover slightly over 50% of the deaths in the local area. This
works out at an average of 4 and a bit services a day. They have 2
chapels, but the car park space can be a little tight if there are
more than 2 sets of mourners at the same time, so they try to spread
them out a bit if possible until the new extension to the car park is
finished.
However, the capacity of the cremators, working on a 24 hour basis is
much higher than this. In the case of a major epidemic, when it would
be unlikely that there would be services, due to the risk of mourners
catching whatever was going about, they could cope with about 25 - 30
per day.
I may currently be doing an audit of said establishment, so have
certain key pieces of information stuck in my brain at the moment.
But the time is pretty much down to how quickly the paperwork

Can't they afford proper firelighters?

Perhaps coffins should be made from naphthalene. It would also prevent
moth damage in the funeral suit while waiting for a slot at the crem.

Anne B

2019-10-27 23:19:04 UTC