Post by Ciccio100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do (Part 1)
http://tinyurl.com/yfwvrpy
OK, this is a pretty interesting list. I'm glad I violated my
long-standing rule against visiting anything with an obfuscated
URL.
Post by Ciccio1. Do not let anyone enter the restaurant without a warm greeting.
I do like being greeted, but I know people who would find this
offputting.
Post by Ciccio2. Do not make a singleton feel bad.
I dine alone pretty often, and don't feel bad. How silly.
Post by Ciccio3. Never refuse to seat three guests because a fourth has not yet
arrived.
Yeah, that's obnoxious.
Post by Ciccio4. If a table is not ready within a reasonable length of time,
offer a free drink and/or amuse-bouche.
This doesn't actually appease me.
Post by Ciccio5. Tables should be level without anyone asking.
12. Do not touch the rim of a water glass.
13. Handle wine glasses by their stems and silverware by the handles.
16. If someone requests more sauce or gravy or cheese, bring a
side dish of same.
21. Never serve anything that looks creepy or runny or wrong.
22. If someone is unsure about a wine choice, help him.
25. Make sure the glasses are clean.
28. Do not put your hands all over the spout of a wine bottle while
removing the cork.
Well duh.
Post by Ciccio6. Do not lead the witness with, "Bottled water or just tap?"
7. Do not announce your name.
9. Do not recite the specials too fast or robotically or dramatically.
11. Do not hustle the lobsters.
I don't care about these at all.
Post by Ciccio8. Do not interrupt a conversation.
This is great advice. I am sometimes rather annoyed by this.
Post by Ciccio10. Do not inject your personal favorites when explaining the specials.
43. Never mention what your favorite dessert is.
I like to hear someone's favorites.
Post by Ciccio14. When you ask, "How's everything?" or "How was the meal?" listen
to the answer and fix whatever is not right.
Ugh. This and #8 remind me of The Stinking Rose. Wow, were those
people obnoxious. They must've asked us if everything was OK
approximately once every 3 minutes. After about the 5th time, it
wasn't.
Post by Ciccio15. Never say "I don't know" to any question without following
with, "I'll find out."
Amazing that there are losers who violate this.
Post by Ciccio17. Do not take an empty plate from one guest while others are
still eating the same course.
I'd prefer they take the plate.
Post by Ciccio18. Know before approaching a table who has ordered what. Do not
ask, "Who's having the shrimp?"
I agree this is nice for top service, but it's not something that
bothers me either.
Post by Ciccio19. Offer guests butter and/or olive oil with their bread.
Uh, why?
Post by Ciccio20. Never refuse to substitute one vegetable for another.
Who does this?
Post by Ciccio23. If someone likes a wine, steam the label off the bottle and
give it to the guest with the bill.
This is a nice idea. I've never seen that.
Post by Ciccio24. Never use the same glass for a second drink.
Eh, this depends. I'm kind of annoyed when given a new glass at
a bar, when the first one is still perfectly usable.
Post by Ciccio26. Never assume people want their white wine in an ice bucket.
I guess this is an issue sometimes.
Post by Ciccio27. For red wine, ask if the guests want to pour their own or
prefer the waiter to pour.
What?! This is stupid. Staff is supposed to pour, and too few places
realize this.
Post by Ciccio29. Do not pop a champagne cork. Remove it quietly, gracefully.
The less noise the better.
I don't know why everyone would have the same preference about this.
Post by Ciccio30. Never let the wine bottle touch the glass into which you are
pouring.
Eh.
Post by Ciccio31. Never remove a plate full of food without asking what went
wrong.
Hmm, there are times I'd really rather not be asked.
Post by Ciccio32. Never touch a customer. No excuses.
This depends too. If you're super-sexy, go right ahead.
Post by Ciccio33. Do not bang into chairs or tables when passing by.
Amazing how many places can't seem to manage this.
Post by Ciccio34. Do not have a personal conversation with another server within
earshot of customers.
I'd change this to "while customers are waiting for something."
Post by Ciccio35. Do not eat or drink in plain view of guests.
Oh please. Who cares?
Post by Ciccio36. Never reek from perfume or cigarettes.
This is general advice.
Post by Ciccio37. Do not drink alcohol on the job, even if invited by the guests.
Likewise lame advice. It depends.
Post by Ciccio38. Do not call a guy a "dude."
47. Do not gossip about co-workers or guests within earshot of
guests.
Eh.
Post by Ciccio39. Do not call a woman "lady."
49. Never mention the tip, unless asked.
Probably not.
Post by Ciccio41. Saying, "No problem" is a problem. It has a tone of insincerity
or sarcasm.
Pfft. How old is this guy?
Post by Ciccio42. Do not compliment a guest's attire or hairdo or makeup. You
are insulting someone else.
Oh please.
Post by Ciccio44. Do not discuss your own eating habits, be you vegan or lactose
intolerant or diabetic.
I have little sense for what this entails, in practice. Maybe I've
never experienced it.
Post by Ciccio45. Do not curse, no matter how young or hip the guests.
I sit at bars a lot, so to me, this isn't always inappropriate.
Post by Ciccio46. Never acknowledge any one guest over and above any other.
This is stupid and impossible.
Post by Ciccio48. Do not ask what someone is eating or drinking when they ask
for more; remember or consult the order.
And never be in a bad mood when you show up for work, right?
Whatever.
Post by Ciccio50. Do not turn on the charm when it's tip time. Be consistent
throughout.
I find this hilarious, actually. Even worse, what's with having
good service for the whole meal until it's time to get the check,
and no one will bring it? That's the stupidest thing I can imagine,
tip-wise, yet it happens all the time.
I guess I'll spare you my 51-100 comments.