How to trace...

[Sandeee]

Hi

I am looking for a bit of advice on how to track down an old friend

The details I have are maiden name and date of birth and that's really
it.

I've tried to use some of the online searches but not knowing the new
married surname is proving a bit of a stumbling block.

Are there any database which allows you to search for marriage
certificates using maiden name and date of birth. I can search using
maiden name and approx year of marriage but this obviously brings up
lots of results. The only option I can see at the moment is to visit
the family record centre and trawl through all the marriage
certificates from my search results.

Any help appreciated

S

[John Cartmell]

The only option I can see at the moment is to visit the family record
centre and trawl through all the marriage certificates from my search
results.

At £7 per certificate?

How much is it worth to you?

[Charles Ellson]

On Fri, 09 Feb 2007 16:34:11 +0000 (GMT), John Cartmell

Post by John Cartmell

The only option I can see at the moment is to visit the family record
centre and trawl through all the marriage certificates from my search
results.

At £7 per certificate?
How much is it worth to you?

Looking at the ISP it night not be 7 quid a time but however many he
can get through during a DiGROS search.

[Don Moody]

Post by Sandeee
Hi
I am looking for a bit of advice on how to track down an old friend
The details I have are maiden name and date of birth and that's really
it.
I've tried to use some of the online searches but not knowing the new
married surname is proving a bit of a stumbling block.
Are there any database which allows you to search for marriage
certificates using maiden name and date of birth. I can search using
maiden name and approx year of marriage but this obviously brings up
lots of results. The only option I can see at the moment is to visit
the family record centre and trawl through all the marriage
certificates from my search results.
Any help appreciated

Yet another person seeking a living relative with no indication of their
bona fides or reason for contacting the missing person.

Yet another who cannot be bothered to Google on 'missing persons', or have
they and been rebuffedby the charitable bodies concerned?

Yet another who does not accept the possibility that someone may not want to
be found and contacted for reasons which are good to themselves. Anybody who
wants to be found only has to scatter their name around a few sites and
newsgroups, and they will be found. The reasonable presumption therefore is
that people who do not scatter their name around do not want to be found or
contacted.

Don

[Jeff]

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose

[Simon Dean]

Post by Don Moody

Post by Sandeee
Hi
I am looking for a bit of advice on how to track down an old friend
The details I have are maiden name and date of birth and that's
really it.
I've tried to use some of the online searches but not knowing the
new married surname is proving a bit of a stumbling block.
Are there any database which allows you to search for marriage
certificates using maiden name and date of birth. I can search
using maiden name and approx year of marriage but this obviously
brings up lots of results. The only option I can see at the moment
is to visit the family record centre and trawl through all the
marriage certificates from my search results.
Any help appreciated

Yet another person seeking a living relative with no indication of
their bona fides or reason for contacting the missing person.

It's none of your business. Might be a private personal matter.

Post by Don Moody
Yet another who cannot be bothered to Google on 'missing persons', or
have they and been rebuffedby the charitable bodies concerned?

It's not a missing person.

Post by Don Moody
Yet another who does not accept the possibility that someone may not
want to be found

And you're someone who cannot accept that maybe someone might want to be
found... you don't know until you try...

Post by Don Moody
and contacted for reasons which are good to
themselves.

Hence a little thing called discretion.

Post by Don Moody
Anybody who wants to be found only has to scatter their
name around a few sites and newsgroups,

And where they're not on the internet? Or concerned about strangers
knowing their details?

Post by Don Moody
and they will be found.

By strangers?

Post by Don Moody
The
reasonable presumption therefore is that people who do not scatter
their name around do not want to be found or contacted.

Which is utter bull Don. Your arguments are malicious and falacious.

I have my own stories that contradict your fevered ramblings.

But Im not at liberty to disclose them.

Cheers
Simon

[Lesley Robertson]

Post by Simon Dean

Post by Don Moody
Yet another person seeking a living relative with no indication of
their bona fides or reason for contacting the missing person.

It's none of your business. Might be a private personal matter.

Exactly. Every year people are found by those they'd rather not see because
some helful person responded to a "missing cousin" story. I knew one - she'd
uprooted her children, brought them to another country, got them established
in a school and house and then someone helped her violent ex-husband when he
got out of jail and appealed for his long-lost cousin. No idea where she is
now - the police wouldn't even let the kids leave a forwarding address for
their friends to use. The last I heard, ex-hubby was back inside.
It's more than our business to be sure who we're helping to find living
people - it's our responisibilty. That's why I'll only pass on info about
the dead.
I WOULD help on a missing living person thing - if someone says "If anyone
knows where X is, please pass on my contact info and tell them I'd love to
hear from them". I won't help provide a nasty surprise at the front door.
Lesley Robertson

[Richard van Schaik]

Post by Lesley Robertson
Exactly. Every year people are found by those they'd rather not see because
some helful person responded to a "missing cousin" story. I knew one - she'd
uprooted her children, brought them to another country, got them established
in a school and house and then someone helped her violent ex-husband when he
got out of jail and appealed for his long-lost cousin. No idea where she is
now - the police wouldn't even let the kids leave a forwarding address for
their friends to use. The last I heard, ex-hubby was back inside.
It's more than our business to be sure who we're helping to find living
people - it's our responisibilty. That's why I'll only pass on info about
the dead.
I WOULD help on a missing living person thing - if someone says "If anyone
knows where X is, please pass on my contact info and tell them I'd love to
hear from them". I won't help provide a nasty surprise at the front door.

Fully agreed, if someone wants contact with another whose (mail)adress I
happen to know the info is given to the one contact is seeked with if a
legitimate reason is provided by the first. Then they are on their own
for further filling in (or not).

Richard

[Simon Dean]

Post by Richard van Schaik
Fully agreed, if someone wants contact with another whose (mail)adress I
happen to know the info is given to the one contact is seeked with if a
legitimate reason is provided by the first. Then they are on their own
for further filling in (or not).
Richard

Quite. If you're being asked to be an intermediary, you need to know if
the contactee, erm, is willing to accept contact.

First rule.

Cya
Simon

[Simon Dean]

Post by Lesley Robertson

Post by Simon Dean

Post by Don Moody
Yet another person seeking a living relative with no indication
of their bona fides or reason for contacting the missing person.

It's none of your business. Might be a private personal matter.

Exactly. Every year people are found by those they'd rather not see
because some helful person responded to a "missing cousin" story.

Are you siding with don or myself?

As far as I can see, if someone asks about HOW they can go about making
contact, they shouldn't be required to give details about who they're
trying to contact, or for what reasons...

This is the internet, and this information could be very personal,
private and yet innocent, but the splashing about of this information
could lead to damaged family relationshipd etc. I think it is very very
wrong to give specific details about individual cases - of which the op
did not do, they merely asked for the tools.

Post by Lesley Robertson
It's more than our business to be sure who we're helping to find
living people - it's our responisibilty.

I do agree however that if someone asks to speak to a Mr X, and you know
of Mr X, it is of course our responsibility to protect the potentially
vulnerable and therefore ask Mr X first whether they wish contact.

Surely though there is a difference between advising someone on what
tools are publicly available and the passing out of personal information?

Obviously, I would never advocate the latter, but IMHO it is NOT our
responsibility to ask for what could be very personal, private
information but innocent means in a public forum.

It IS our duty however to protect those that could be vulnerable and not
pass out information with freedom.

Cya
Simon

[Sandeee]

All

Thanks for the helpful and honest replies. Just to clarify things this
was a genuine personal enquiry about what tools are available to track
old friends down. I had a group of 10 or so close friends about twenty
years ago and through the net and friends reunited etc and a bit of
digging at register house in Edinburgh I have been able to get some
info on what most of them are up to or when they got married etc and
made contact with a number of them again. There is one person out of
this group who seems to have vanished completely and neither I nor any
of my friends have any info on what happened to her, whether she is
married or not, whether she even lives in the UK etc etc. So that is
the reason for my enquiry. I suppose I didn't really think before I
posted to this group as it's not really the appropriate group and I
apologise for that.

P.S. I do work for the nhs (common services agency) not the Child
support agency and the reason for posting with my work e-mail address
was that I had looged on to the net on a boring friday afternoon when
work was a bit quiet.

It looks like the way of searching which i had considered will need a
bit more time and effort than what I had intended so I guess I'll
leave that for now.

Thanks again

S

[Hugh Watkins]

Post by Sandeee
All
Thanks for the helpful and honest replies. Just to clarify things this
was a genuine personal enquiry about what tools are available to track
old friends down. I had a group of 10 or so close friends about twenty
years ago and through the net and friends reunited etc and a bit of
digging at register house in Edinburgh I have been able to get some
info on what most of them are up to or when they got married etc and
made contact with a number of them again. There is one person out of
this group who seems to have vanished completely and neither I nor any
of my friends have any info on what happened to her, whether she is
married or not, whether she even lives in the UK etc etc. So that is
the reason for my enquiry. I suppose I didn't really think before I
posted to this group as it's not really the appropriate group and I
apologise for that.
P.S. I do work for the nhs (common services agency) not the Child
support agency and the reason for posting with my work e-mail address
was that I had looged on to the net on a boring friday afternoon when
work was a bit quiet.
It looks like the way of searching which i had considered will need a
bit more time and effort than what I had intended so I guess I'll
leave that for now.

try and remember some mutual friends who might know someone who would know

have you checked for a death?

Hugh W

[Charles Ellson]

On Sat, 10 Feb 2007 00:22:59 +0000, Hugh Watkins

Post by Hugh Watkins

Post by Sandeee
All
Thanks for the helpful and honest replies. Just to clarify things this
was a genuine personal enquiry about what tools are available to track
old friends down. I had a group of 10 or so close friends about twenty
years ago and through the net and friends reunited etc and a bit of
digging at register house in Edinburgh I have been able to get some
info on what most of them are up to or when they got married etc and
made contact with a number of them again. There is one person out of
this group who seems to have vanished completely and neither I nor any
of my friends have any info on what happened to her, whether she is
married or not, whether she even lives in the UK etc etc. So that is
the reason for my enquiry. I suppose I didn't really think before I
posted to this group as it's not really the appropriate group and I
apologise for that.
P.S. I do work for the nhs (common services agency) not the Child
support agency and the reason for posting with my work e-mail address
was that I had looged on to the net on a boring friday afternoon when
work was a bit quiet.
It looks like the way of searching which i had considered will need a
bit more time and effort than what I had intended so I guess I'll
leave that for now.

try and remember some mutual friends who might know someone who would know
have you checked for a death?

www.b4u.co.uk might also help if you have specific names and areas to
check.

[CWatters]

Post by Sandeee
All
Thanks for the helpful and honest replies. Just to clarify things this
was a genuine personal enquiry about what tools are available to track
old friends down.

http://www.friendsreunited.co.uk/

Worked for me.

[Lesley Robertson]

Post by Simon Dean

Post by Lesley Robertson

Post by Simon Dean

Post by Don Moody
Yet another person seeking a living relative with no indication of
their bona fides or reason for contacting the missing person.

It's none of your business. Might be a private personal matter.

Exactly. Every year people are found by those they'd rather not see
because some helful person responded to a "missing cousin" story.

Are you siding with don or myself?

I'm not siding with anyone. I'm agreeing the reason for the search might be
a private personal matter, but it might not be the one given. A person's
whereabouts are also a private personal matter, and they should be allowed
to define who gets access to that information. Until you've seen the
devastation caused to someone who has finally allowed themself to relax a
bit and feel safe, then discovers that they've been easily found because the
goodwill of someone on the web was exploited, you'll need to use your
imagination.
Lesley Robertson

[Gordon Thompson]

My approach has always been to tell the person who is being looked for about
the search, and let them decide to contact or not. If they are trying to
hide, or escape a bad situation, they can decline to contact.

Gordon

Post by Lesley Robertson

Post by Simon Dean

Post by Lesley Robertson

Post by Simon Dean

Post by Don Moody
Yet another person seeking a living relative with no indication of
their bona fides or reason for contacting the missing person.

It's none of your business. Might be a private personal matter.

Exactly. Every year people are found by those they'd rather not see
because some helful person responded to a "missing cousin" story.

Are you siding with don or myself?

I'm not siding with anyone. I'm agreeing the reason for the search might
be a private personal matter, but it might not be the one given. A
person's whereabouts are also a private personal matter, and they should
be allowed to define who gets access to that information. Until you've
seen the devastation caused to someone who has finally allowed themself to
relax a bit and feel safe, then discovers that they've been easily found
because the goodwill of someone on the web was exploited, you'll need to
use your imagination.
Lesley Robertson

[Hugh Watkins]

Post by Gordon Thompson
My approach has always been to tell the person who is being looked for about
the search, and let them decide to contact or not. If they are trying to
hide, or escape a bad situation, they can decline to contact.
Gordon

Post by Lesley Robertson

Post by Simon Dean

Post by Lesley Robertson

Post by Simon Dean

Post by Don Moody
Yet another person seeking a living relative with no indication of
their bona fides or reason for contacting the missing person.

It's none of your business. Might be a private personal matter.

Exactly. Every year people are found by those they'd rather not see
because some helful person responded to a "missing cousin" story.

Are you siding with don or myself?

I'm not siding with anyone. I'm agreeing the reason for the search might
be a private personal matter, but it might not be the one given. A
person's whereabouts are also a private personal matter, and they should
be allowed to define who gets access to that information. Until you've
seen the devastation caused to someone who has finally allowed themself to
relax a bit and feel safe, then discovers that they've been easily found
because the goodwill of someone on the web was exploited, you'll need to
use your imagination.
Lesley Robertson

I was asked by email to trace a living birth parent by an adoptee
it took just one lucky google to find a grandchild who had posted her
grandmother's maiden name on a website

I wrote a very delicately worded email

"I am a reseacher , I may have found a cousin for you . . . "

two exchanges later and it turned out to be a long lost uncle whose
birth mother had been searching for her youngest for 15 years

We are part of a world wide community and those who do not share names
lose out

This is why I plug Family Tree Maker 16 because it is easy to use for
beginners and has automated web publishing as a freebie.

Lately I am exploring the FTM linked search function
click on a button by a name on my own family page and get a list of hits
on the ancestry site which is actually better and more precise than the
traditional individual search page

FTM is in effect MS IE 6 or 7 customised with an engine to create an
edit a file on your own machine, which its own variation of the gedcom
format.

The "temple ready" ged export may be privatised first, for example to
upload to genesreunited, or as is to be privatised by Randy Winch's
creation WorldConnect with more than 460 million names on file

NB WordConnect is migrating to a new server so there WILL be outages and
slow running over the next few weeks

http://worldconnect.rootsweb.com/ is a freebie and if you have the
password you may recover all of your uploaded gedcom as a back up
It displays my data in a differet format to FTM so I always spot my
latest mistakes much more easily on line in public (blush)

and the reason I plug rootsweb.com is that it is a freebie with even
more helpful people than in SGB

Hugh W

[Alan Holmes]

Post by Don Moody

Post by Sandeee
Hi
I am looking for a bit of advice on how to track down an old friend
The details I have are maiden name and date of birth and that's really
it.
I've tried to use some of the online searches but not knowing the new
married surname is proving a bit of a stumbling block.
Are there any database which allows you to search for marriage
certificates using maiden name and date of birth. I can search using
maiden name and approx year of marriage but this obviously brings up
lots of results. The only option I can see at the moment is to visit
the family record centre and trawl through all the marriage
certificates from my search results.
Any help appreciated

Yet another person seeking a living relative with no indication of their
bona fides or reason for contacting the missing person.
Yet another who cannot be bothered to Google on 'missing persons', or have
they and been rebuffedby the charitable bodies concerned?
Yet another who does not accept the possibility that someone may not want
to be found and contacted for reasons which are good to themselves.
Anybody who wants to be found only has to scatter their name around a few
sites and newsgroups, and they will be found. The reasonable presumption
therefore is that people who do not scatter their name around do not want
to be found or contacted.

A most helpful answer, one can only hope the OP just ignores you and perhaps
puts you in his killfile!

Alan

Post by Don Moody
Don

[Jeff]

Post by Sandeee
Hi
I am looking for a bit of advice on how to track down an old friend
The details I have are maiden name and date of birth and that's really
it.
I've tried to use some of the online searches but not knowing the new
married surname is proving a bit of a stumbling block.
Are there any database which allows you to search for marriage
certificates using maiden name and date of birth. I can search using
maiden name and approx year of marriage but this obviously brings up
lots of results. The only option I can see at the moment is to visit
the family record centre and trawl through all the marriage
certificates from my search results.

You can't "trawl through" them. You'll only find indexes (identical to
your search results) and you'll have to order likely certificates.

[David Hunt]

Have you tried Friends Reunited?

David Hunt

Post by Sandeee
Hi
I am looking for a bit of advice on how to track down an old friend
The details I have are maiden name and date of birth and that's really
it.
I've tried to use some of the online searches but not knowing the new
married surname is proving a bit of a stumbling block.
Are there any database which allows you to search for marriage
certificates using maiden name and date of birth. I can search using
maiden name and approx year of marriage but this obviously brings up
lots of results. The only option I can see at the moment is to visit
the family record centre and trawl through all the marriage
certificates from my search results.
Any help appreciated
S

[Charani]

Post by Sandeee
I am looking for a bit of advice on how to track down an old friend

Posting through google groups and with a government email address.
The first doesn't engender any confidence in the genuineness of the
enquiry while the other raises doubts as to why an official government
agency is unable to find this person.

CSA = ?Child Support Agency

The only way to find out the details of a marriage is to *purchase*
the certificate. You can't see the certificates any other way. They
certainly aren't at the Family Record Centre. Only the indices are
there. The date of birth isn't given in English or Welsh marriage
certificates, only the age which may or may not be correct.

[Jeff]

Post by Charani

Post by Sandeee
I am looking for a bit of advice on how to track down an old friend

Posting through google groups and with a government email address.
The first doesn't engender any confidence in the genuineness of the
enquiry while the other raises doubts as to why an official government
agency is unable to find this person.

It appears as if she has some role in Supply & Services with NHS
Scotland. But perhaps she'll enlighten us as to whether the interest is
personal or governmental.

[Brian Pears]

Post by Charani
CSA = ?Child Support Agency

No CSA = Common Services Agency part of N.H.S. Scotland.

I think shs.csa.scot.nhs.uk means she works at Scottish
Healthcare Supplies which is part of the Common Services
Agency.

[Charles Ellson]

Post by Charani

Post by Sandeee
I am looking for a bit of advice on how to track down an old friend

Posting through google groups and with a government email address.
The first doesn't engender any confidence in the genuineness of the
enquiry while the other raises doubts as to why an official government
agency is unable to find this person.
CSA = ?Child Support Agency

shs.csa.scot.nhs.uk =
Scottish Healthcare Supplies (Common Service Agency) part of the
Scottish National Health service.

Post by Charani
The only way to find out the details of a marriage is to *purchase*
the certificate. You can't see the certificates any other way. They
certainly aren't at the Family Record Centre. Only the indices are
there. The date of birth isn't given in English or Welsh marriage
certificates, only the age which may or may not be correct.

[DI Owens]

On Fri, 09 Feb 2007 19:48:09 +0000, Charles Ellson

Post by Sandeee
I am looking for a bit of advice on how to track down an old friend

try:

http://www.tracesmart.co.uk/

its not free but does work

[Simon Dean]

Post by Sandeee
Hi
I am looking for a bit of advice on how to track down an old friend
The details I have are maiden name and date of birth and that's really
it.
I've tried to use some of the online searches but not knowing the new
married surname is proving a bit of a stumbling block.
Are there any database which allows you to search for marriage
certificates using maiden name and date of birth. I can search using
maiden name and approx year of marriage but this obviously brings up
lots of results. The only option I can see at the moment is to visit
the family record centre and trawl through all the marriage
certificates from my search results.

Right. This is my speciality.

I've tracked down lots of people... with good results, and without malice.

You are seeking contact without malice right?

First of all, gather as much information together that you know about
them. Without that, you cannot confirm the person you will eventually be
contacting, is the person you seek.

So write down as much as you know right now.

The first things to try, are things like Google searches... You never
know, they might have their own websites, or be on someone's family tree
somewhere.

Try sites like GenesReunited.co.uk and FriendsReunited.co.uk... they may
be listed there.

If not, then it's time to get dirty.

There is a facility called the Electoral Roll. It's available at many
websites, I personally use 1stLocate.co.uk but findmypast.com is also
providing these searches.

However, you need to know what their name is now.

So, the first thing I would do, is if you don't know this persons
parents, then get a copy of their birth certificate. This will give you
the names of parents.

Then you will need to look through the GRO indexes ie through the
marriage lists. It depends on how unique their name is, and whether they
got married in England... if so, and providing the name isn't something
like Smith, you might be in luck.

You just have to search through all the indexes, and note down any
potential matches... which will include a First Name, Surname at time of
marriage, Surname of spouse, year, quarter, and location.

Make a list. It might be a long list, it might be a short list.

You know the date of birth, so I add 16 to that, and start my searching
from there...

Then using a personal weighting mechanism, whittle the results down to
likely candidates, and not so likely... So for example, assume that
maybe they got married between 16 and 30, that maybe they got married in
their home town... etc...

Don't dismiss any results, but keep them safe just in case...

Then, with your likely results, try sending off for a marriage
certificate, or several. You can include extra information in checking
references, eg, parents names etc...

Obviously it will cost, at £7 a go, it's not cheap. Depends how
desperately you want to find your friend.

the place to order certificates from is gro.gov.uk and bear in mind,
there may be restrictions depending on when the event took place.

But eventually, you may find a marriage certificate, that matches up the
parents names and the approximate age.

Bingo... you then have a spouse.

Of course, she may have got married again... who knows...

But then, you can go to the electoral roll... Search for this persons
name and the married surname, get back a list of results. then look at
who is in the household and where you match the spouses first name in
the house with that on the marriage certificate, you potentially have
your result.

Of course, it's possible the Electoral Roll info is out of date, or she
has asked to be hidden from searches.

Sorry once I get going, I don't stop.... And I don't believe in being
skimpy with the details...

Cya
Simon

[Hugh Watkins]

Post by Sandeee
Hi
I am looking for a bit of advice on how to track down an old friend
The details I have are maiden name and date of birth and that's really
it.
I've tried to use some of the online searches but not knowing the new
married surname is proving a bit of a stumbling block.
Are there any database which allows you to search for marriage
certificates using maiden name and date of birth. I can search using
maiden name and approx year of marriage but this obviously brings up
lots of results. The only option I can see at the moment is to visit
the family record centre and trawl through all the marriage
certificates from my search results.
Any help appreciated

get a hotmail email address for this pupose before someone waves a
Flexible Video Endoscope at you:-)

National Procurement Organisation is your employer

NHS National Services Scotland ***@shs.csa.scot.nhs.uk. 8 Feb.
14 Dec. Lothian Health Board Contact for supply of Erythropoietin for
Department of ...
www.nhsscotlandprocurement.scot.nhs.uk/tender_opportunities.htm

why are you searching?

Hugh W