On Tue, 5 Oct 2021 08:24:25 -0700, Rudy Canoza says...
...but installed Trump's nominee just WEEKS before?
The Republiscums/QAnon packed the court.
Name ONE person in the Senate who "packed the court", who believes a satanic
cult is behind the "conspiracy theory that claims Trump is waging a secret war
against a deep state of Democratic elites and Hollywood stars who are
pedophiles and Satan worshipers"?
Name him or her. Just one will do.
Who in CONGRESS believes a satanic cult is behind the "conspiracy theory that
claims Trump is waging a secret war against a deep state of Democratic elites
and Hollywood stars who are pedophiles and Satan worshipers"?
Do you know anyone, at all, who believes a satanic cult is behind the
"conspiracy theory that claims Trump is waging a secret war against a deep
state of Democratic elites and Hollywood stars who are pedophiles and Satan
worshipers"?
The "Shaman"?
https://media.zenfs.com/en/insider_articles_
922/081aa4feae88377d505d382d5f86f1fc
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
WhaT a fucKing loOn!
=====
Part 1 - Rudy Narcissist 1
You probably spend a small amount of time feeling sorry for Rudy, but elated
when this undeserved narcissist starts spouting his hate and bile.
You see how Rudy treats other people (even fellow gays on the left), and it's
quite funny.
Have you ever wondered how to make a Rudy, the narcissist, miserable and what
makes him afraid or triggered? (maybe for a second... then it's gone)
Just for the record, trying to make Rudy, the narcissist, miserable might have
its place for a short period of time, but I don't recommend focusing on it for
too long as this will inevitably get old, like Rudy's insults.
But, if you need a quik fix, let's get into the top things all narcissists,
like Rudy, hate. (quick misspelled on purpose)
How to Make Rudy, the narcissist, Miserable
Lack Of Acknowledgment:
It's no secret that most narcissists, like Rudy, revel in admiration and
validation (except for 'closet narcissists', like Rudy). Rudy depends on
constant approval to maintain his sense of intrinsic worth. To achieve this
goal, he TRIES to absorb (or steal) the energy of other people.
"... you you no-fight faggot." - Rudy
"... you toothless squat-to-piss no-fight faggot" - Rudy
"Kicked your flabby faggot ass again. Yes." - Rudy
"You a Squat-to-Piss Faggot." - Rudy
Do you ever wonder why narcissists, like Rudy, don't seem to mind the negative
attention? It's because negative attention also fuels his narcissistic fire.
ANY NEGATIVITY IS STILL GETTING ATTENTION, AND ANY FORM OF ATTENTION GIVES HIM
THE INCENTIVE TO KEEP GOING. IT GIVES him THE MOTIVATION TO KEEP PROVING
HIMSELF.
In fact, he often likes negative attention better, because if you're still
amused by his emotional crimes, he can try to exploit this.
Therefore, a lack of acknowledgment is the real threat. To Rudy, the
narcissist, indifference is even more of an issue than hatred. Rudy's rather
you have a negative opinion than have no opinion at all.
(sick fuck)
Narcissists, like Rudy, can't stand it when no one is paying attention to him.
Rudy doesn't know how to feel important or special if he isn't the center of
the universe or consuming someone's thoughts. This is also why the traditional
Grey Rock method is often pointless and why complete avoidance is the best
route (or extreme modified contact... just ignore the sick fuck).
When People Speak Factually:
Have you ever paid close attention to how Rudy, the narcissist, speaks? Rudy
use excessive, long-winded language charged with grandiose emotion.
"The disgusting gurgling, slurping sounds below are just the faggots Hartung,
Sanitary Napkin and Bit of Nothingness enjoying a three-way" - Rudy
"I've beaten *you* to a bloody pulp, you squat-to-piss *no-fight* faggot -
every fucking time. You're a zero, as every, stale, squat-to-piss *no-fight*
faggot who incessantly bleats about "mommy's basement" *ALWAYS* is." - Rudy,
the basement dweller and overall mommy's boy. [giggle]
"YOU lose, Nazi faggot." - Rudy
Rudy skews reality to meet his world-view, and he believe his truth is always
the truth.
Additionally, through the use of cognitive empathy, he's spent his entire life
observing the emotional language of other people and using it to his advantage.
So, when you speak in facts instead of using emotion, he intuitively
understands he has less of an upper hand.
Therefore, he hates it when someone challenges him with facts instead of
emotion. Rudy will usually retaliate with more arguing or hysteria.
"Stupid lying shit-4-braincell Google Groups shitbag loser lied" - Rudy Canoza
"Because I read the reliable news, you fucking toothless advanced-Alzheimer's
shit-4-braincell Google Groups loser shitbag"
"Imbecilic Google Groups loser shitbag." (his most ardent admirers, the gays,
use Google Groups... tee hee)
This childish response simply shows that he feel out-of-control. Rudy's attempt
to elevate the conversation's intensity by throwing an emotional temper
tantrum.
"Hysterical histrionic estrogen-oozing squat-to-piss fairy, who was *NOT* a
three-letter athlete, *NEVER* a bouncer, *NEVER* a golf pro, *NEVER* a
lifeguard, *NEVER* dunked a basketball, and has *NEVER* been laid - squealed
and shrieked."
If anything, this dynamic only highlights the narcissist's immaturity. His
inability to absorb facts demonstrates his incompetence in approaching most
adult interactions.
Rudy is not skilled in the language of facts because he is always lying and
hiding things, so speaking factually throws him completely off-balance.
Authority:
Narcissists, like Rudy, detest authority. That's because he resents having to
answer to anybody but himself (mommy orders him around, further compounding his
anger).
Any sense of authority threatens his inherent desire for power and control.
It's not uncommon for narcissists, like Rudy, to have issues at work (LOL),
school (LOL), or with the law. Has the narcissist in your life had multiple
jobs?
Is he frequently getting reprimanded for his behavior?
While narcissists, like Rudy, can be intelligent, he often come across as
combative and unfit in professional environments. If confronted by his
inappropriate behavior, he tends to deny or rationalize his part.
Of course, it's no surprise that most authority figures dislike working with
narcissists, like Rudy. Supervisors (LOL) find him unruly and unreasonable.
Rudy can't understand why the person can't follow basic directions without such
volatile reactions.
Being Told No:
Of all things, Rudy, the narcissist, hates being told no (and actually
following through with it) tops the list. Narcissists, like Rudy, are used to
manipulating and weaseling his way into getting what he wants.
Often, he'll pull all the stops to accomplish this task. He's spent his whole
life charming people to meet his needs.
That's why telling him no, and being adamant on your stance, often causes such
an angry reaction. Rudy, the narcissist, isn't just upset about the denial -
he's downright confused by it!
Narcissists, like Rudy, can't actually fathom why someone would refuse him.
Because he lacks real empathy, he can't understand what must be going on in
your mind. Moreover, even if he tries to comprehend it, he refuses to accept
this reality.
Implementing Consequences:
Have you ever tried to set a boundary with Rudy, the narcissist,? How well did
it go? Most likely, you tried to implement a limit, and he reacted in one of
three ways:
Dismissing you altogether and gas-lighting your feelings, acknowledging his
mistake (LOL), and then doing nothing to change, reacting with intense rage,
threats, or even physical violence.
"You impotent little cunt whom I would squash like a bug if I ever saw you."
Narcissists, like Rudy, can't accept any real consequences. Rudy can't see when
he's wrong, and he can't understand how someone would ever think he's wrong.
And even if the narcissist understood this, he simply wouldn't care. As a
result, he tends to react disproportionately to boundaries and serious
conversations as a means to intimidate you and force you into compliance.
Unfortunately, many people simply give up on trying to implement consequences
with narcissists, like Rudy.
Losing At Anything:
Have you ever observed young children playing a board game? If so, you probably
witnessed plenty of cheating behaviours and dramatic reactions to losing. It's
acceptable when the players are three years old, but what happens when you're
referring to full-fledged adults, like Rudy?
Narcissists, like Rudy, can resemble toddlers, in that he tend to be extremely
sore losers. Rudy struggles to accept losing, and he also tends to lash out
when it happens. A few scenarios may occur:
Rudy repeatedly proclaims a person on Usenet is incompetent. Rudy's attempt to
defame or humiliate the winner. Rudy pretends he didn't care about winning.
Rudy insists that he "let the other person" take the spotlight. Rudy refuses to
accept that he lost and awkwardly acts as if he's the actual winner.
Public Humiliation:
Because narcissists, like Rudy, are sore losers, he can't handle real or
perceived public humiliation. Rudy just can't tolerate the threat of failure.
To him, public humiliation is the ultimate form of defeat.
(and THAT'S why he HAS to be the last poster in a thread, if he has felt that
he's been slighted, in the least)
We all know that narcissists, like Rudy, have incredibly fragile egos. When he
believes someone is making fun of him or if he's not the perceived expert or
authority in a public setting, it jolts his existence. As a result, he'll do
anything to protect his fragile ego. Some common responses include:
Making violent or emotionally-charged threats:
"I can kill you with one hand. You know this."
Attempting to one-up the audience by turning on an ally:
"No one aksed(sic) you, Google Groups faggot (wy aka edell, bruce2bowser, galt_
57, B Hassleback, etc.)." - Rudy Canoza
Screaming or yelling:
*FAGGOT!*
Walking away with obvious anger
Laughing it off in public only to lash out later
Making up lies about anyone who is a real expert
Expectations of Commitment
Most narcissists, like Rudy, are terrible with commitment. Although he believes
he deserves all senses of loyalty, he doesn't usually provide it himself. As a
result, when he gets into relationships (mommy only), he doesn't consider her
needs. He's only accounting for his own emotions, impulses, and desires.
Unfortunately, his mother holds onto wistful hope about her narcissist
changing. She listens to how the narcissist praises and adores her. She holds
onto fleeting promises that this time will be different.
Yet, Rudy, the narcissist makes all the rules. Rudy decides what he wants to
do, and he does it when he wants to do it. Therefore, he can break and change
the rules in ways that suits him.
99% of Other People:
How many friends does your narcissist have? Probably very few (more like NONE).
Usually, his only friends are other people who validate his narcissism, like
mommy.
Subsequently, how often do you hear Rudy complain about other people? (ALL THE
TIME) More times than you can count, probably! That's because a single
wrongdoing often results in lifetime resentment. One mistake tarnishes an
entire reputation.
Narcissists, like Rudy, struggle to get along with anyone who doesn't fit into
his falsified worldview. Rudy can't stand to be challenged. Rudy can't tolerate
the ideas that other people may know more than him.
If he's a cerebral narcissist, he is convinced that he is unique and should
only associate with other special or high-status individuals. In fact, when
confronted with anything that contradicts his sense of god-like stature, you
can bet that his reaction will be explosive and malicious.
Therefore, narcissists, like Rudy, can't tolerate people who actually live in
reality. That's why you rarely see people with strong boundaries tolerating
narcissists, like Rudy, for very long.
When You Change The Status Quo:
Narcissists, like Rudy, hate change when it's out of his control. When you
challenge Rudy, the narcissist, he remains in a defeating pattern full of
resentment and frustration, lashing out to make himself feel dominate.
******************************************************************************
Part 2 - Rudy Narcissist 2
Psychologist Stephen Johnson writes that a narcissist is someone who has
"buried his true self-expression in response to EARLY INJURIES and replaced it
with a highly developed, compensatory FALSE SELF."
This alternate persona often comes across as grandiose, "above others,"
self-absorbed, and highly conceited.
[giggle]
Gaslighting is a form of persistent manipulation and brainwashing that causes
the victim to doubt her or himself, and to ultimately lose one's own sense of
perception, identity, and self-worth. A gaslighter's statements and accusations
are often based on deliberate falsehoods and calculated marginalization. The
term gaslighting is derived from the 1944 film Gaslight, where a husband tries
to convince his wife that she's insane by causing her to question herself and
her reality.
Multiple studies and writings have been done on the impact of narcissism and
gaslighting on relationships(1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6). While each of these often
destructive pathologies is unique, there are certain behavioral overlaps.
Following are six common traits, with references from my books: "How to
Successfully Handle Narcissists" and "How to Successfully Handle Gaslighters &
Stop Psychological Bullying". Not all narcissists and gaslighters possess every
characteristic identified below. However, chronic narcissists and gaslighters
are likely to exhibit at least several of the following on a regular basis.
1. Frequent Lies and Exaggerations
Both narcissists and gaslighters are prone to frequent lies and exaggerations
(about themselves and others), and have the tendency of lifting themselves up
by putting others down. While narcissists often strive to make themselves seem
superior and "special" by showing off, bragging, taking undeserved credit, and
other forms of self-aggrandizement, gaslighters tend to concentrate on making
you feel inferior through false accusations, constant criticism, and
psychological intimidation. Both narcissists and gaslighters can be adept at
distortion of facts, deliberate falsehoods, character assassinations, and
negative coercions. One key difference is that while the narcissist lies and
exaggerates to boost their fragile self-worth, the gaslighter does so to
augment their domination and control.
2. Rarely Admit Flaws and Are Highly Aggressive When Criticized
Many narcissists and gaslighters have thin skin and can react poorly when
called to account for their negative behavior. When challenged, the narcissist
is likely to either fight (e.g., temper tantrum, excuse-making, denial, blame,
hypersensitivity, etc.) or take flight (bolt out the door, avoidance, silent
treatment, sulking resentment, or other forms of passive-aggression). The
gaslighter nearly always resorts to escalation by doubling or tripling down on
their false accusations or coercions, to intimidate or oppress their opponent.
Many gaslighters view relationships as inherently competitive rather than
collaborative; a zero-sum game where one is either a winner or a loser, on top
or at the bottom. "Offense is the best defense" is a mantra for many
gaslighters, which also represents their aggressive method of relating to
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3. False Image Projection
"My husband always wants people to see him as successful, powerful, and
envy-worthy, no matter how shaky his real life actually is." -Anonymous partner
of narcissist
Both narcissists and gaslighters tend to project false, idealized images of
themselves to the world, in order to hide their inner insecurities. Many
narcissists like to impress others by making themselves look good externally.
This "trophy complex" can exhibit itself physically, romantically, sexually,
socially, religiously, financially, materially, professionally, academically,
or culturally. The underlying message of this display is: "I'm better than
you!" or "Look at how special I am - I'm worthy of everyone's love, admiration,
and acceptance!"
Gaslighters, on the other hand, often create an idealized self-image of being
the dominant, suppressive alpha male or female in personal relationships, at
the workplace, or in high-profile positions of society (such as politics and
media). Many gaslighters like to view themselves falsely as all-powerful and
strong, capable of dishing out judgments and penalties at will. Pathological
gaslighters often take pride and boost themselves up by marginalizing those
whom they perceive as weaker, believing that the meek deserve their downtrodden
fate. They attack their victims with direct or subtle cruelty and contempt,
gaining sadistic pleasure from these offenses, and betraying a lack of empathy
and humanity.
In essence, narcissists want others to worship them, while gaslighters want
others to submit to them. In a big way, these external facades become pivotal
parts of their false identities, replacing the real and insecure self.
4. Rule Breaking and Boundary Violation
Many narcissists and gaslighters enjoy getting away with violating rules and
social norms. Examples of narcissistic trespass include cutting in line,
chronic under-tipping, personal space intrusion, borrowing items without
returning, using other's properties without asking, disobeying traffic laws,
breaking appointments, and negating promises. Examples of gaslighting trespass
include direct or subtle marginalizing remarks, public or private shaming and
humiliation, sardonic humor and sarcastic comments, internet trolling, angry
and hateful speech, and virulent attacks on undesirable individuals and groups.
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Both narcissist and gaslighter boundary violations presume entitlement, with a
narrow, egocentric orientation that oppresses and de-humanizes their victims.
In severe cases, this boundary violation pathology may result in illicit and
underhanded dealings, financial abuse, sexual harassment, date rape, domestic
abuse, hate crimes, human rights violations, and other forms of criminality.
Many narcissists and gaslighters take pride in their destructive behaviors, as
their machinations provide them with a hollow (and desperate) sense of
superiority and privilege.
5. Emotional Invalidation and Coercion
Although narcissists and gaslighters can be (but are not always) physically
abusive, for the majority of their victims, emotional suffering is where the
damage is most painfully felt. Both narcissists and gaslighters enjoy spreading
and arousing negative emotions in order to feel powerful, and keep you insecure
and off-balance. They habitually invalidate others' thoughts, feelings, and
priorities, showing little remorse for causing people in their lives pain. They
often blame their victims for having caused their own victimization ("You
wouldn't get yelled at if you weren't so stupid!").
In addition, many narcissists and gaslighters have unpredictable mood swings
and are prone to emotional drama - you never know what might displease them and
set them off. They become upset at any signs of independence and
self-affirmation ("Who do you think you are!?"). They turn agitated if you
disagree with their views or fail to meet their expectations. As mentioned
earlier, they are sensitive to criticism, but quick to judge others. By keeping
you down and making you feel inferior, they boost their fragile ego, and feel
more reassured about themselves.
6. Manipulation: The Use or Control of Others as an Extension of Oneself
Both narcissists and gaslighters have a tendency to make decisions for others
to suit their own agenda. Narcissists may use their romantic partner, child,
family, friend, or colleague to meet unreasonable self-serving needs, fulfill
unrealized dreams, or cover-up weaknesses and shortcomings. Narcissists are
also fond of using guilt, blame, and victim-hood as manipulative devices.
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Gaslighters conduct psychological manipulation toward individuals and groups
through persistent distortion of the truth, with the intention of causing their
victims to question themselves and feel less confident. In personal and/or
professional environments, they manipulate by micromanaging (controlling)
relationships, including telling others how they should think, feel, and behave
under the gaslighter's unreasonable restrictions and scrutiny. They often
become critical, angry, intimidating, and/or hostile toward those who fail to
bow down to their directives. Gaslighter manipulation is often highly
aggressive, with punitive measures (tangible or psychological) executed toward
those who fail to recognize and obey their self-perceived authority.
Perhaps the biggest distinction between narcissists and gaslighters is that
narcissists use and exploit, and gaslighters dominate and control. While the
narcissist does so to compensate for a desperate sense of deficiency (of being
unloved as the real self), the gaslighter does so to hide their ever-present
insecurity (of being powerless and losing control). Both of these pathological
types betray an inability and/or unwillingness to relate to people genuinely
and equitably as human beings. They become "special" and "superior" by being
less human and by de-humanizing others.
In the worst-case scenario, some individuals possess traits of both narcissism
and gaslighting. This is a highly toxic and destructive combination of vanity,
manipulation, bullying, and abuse - all unleashed in order to compensate for
the perpetrator's deep-seated sense of inadequacy and fear.
******************************************************************************
Part 3 - Rudy Narcissist 3
Rudy's, Dilemma: He Can Dish It Out, But Crawls Upstairs and Cries To Mommy
When Someone Shows Him For What He Is... An UNdeserved Narcissist
"When Criticized, narcissists, like Rudy, Show Himself Woefully Incapable of
Retaining Any Emotional Poise, Or Receptivity."
Sure, Rudy Thinks That Many Defenses Protect Him, But He's Only Fooling
Himself... It's a Cry For Help
The Basics:
What Is Narcissism?
Find A Therapist Who Understands Narcissism
(Usenet is Rudy's therapist and therapy... you're welcome)
Such a universal tendency is elevated almost to an art form with those
afflicted, like Rudy, with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
When criticized, Rudy the narcissist, shows himself woefully incapable of
retaining any emotional poise, or receptivity, and it really doesn't much
matter whether the nature of that criticism is constructive or destructive. He
just doesn't seem to be able to take criticism, period.
(Rudy can't go to bed or sleep, if there's an article left dangling, that shows
him to be the undeserved narcissist that he is, hence his replying to EVERY
article, as if THAT shows me... LOL)
At the same time, Rudy the disturbed individual, demonstrates an abnormally
developed capacity to criticize others ("dish it out", so to speak to "him",
even going as far as not even writing on the topic at hand).
(giggle... PERFECT)
Although Rudy the narcissist can't, or won't, show it, all perceived criticism
feels gravely threatening to him - the reason that his inflamed, over-the-top
reactions to it can leave us surprised and confused.
(not really.. it IS Rudy, after all)
Deep down, and clinging desperately not simply to a positive but grandiose
sense of self, Rudy feels compelled at all costs to block out any negative
feedback about himself, (hence the never-ending replies to ANY article about
him.)
Rudy's dilemma is that the rigidity of his defenses, his inability ever to let
his guard down, guarantees that he'll never get what he most needs, which he
himself is sadly oblivious of.
To better grasp why narcissists, like Rudy, , like Rudy, are so ready to attack
others and so unable to deal with being attacked himself, it's useful to
understand something about his childhood.
People aren't born narcissistic-it's powerful environmental influences that
cause him to become so.
(BINGO!)
As a caveat, however, I should add that no single theory adequately accounts
for every instance of NPD. The explanation I'll be offering, though seminal
among those proposed, is still just one of several. But even though it's a bit
oversimplified, I think it elucidates the essential dynamic of the narcissistic
defense system better than any of the theoretical alternatives.
Briefly, while growing up, future narcissists, like Rudy, had many reasons to
doubt whether he was good enough.
Neglected and ignored, or constantly disparaged and berated by his parents,
Rudy was held to unrealistically high standards of behavior.
His caretakers were quick to judge him whenever he failed to live up to such
unreasonable, perfectionist expectations.
As a result, he couldn't help but feel defective, not okay, and insecure,
doubting his fundamental worth as a human.
In most instances, neither did he feel cared about or wanted-as though he were
factory seconds, to be tolerated but not respected or loved.
Anxiously experiencing his bond to his parents as tenuous, in his head, he
cultivated an imaginary "ideal self" (taller and more well-hung... LOL) that
could get the parental acceptance, even adulation, he craved.
If narcissistic adults project an air of importance, superiority, entitlement,
and grandiosity, it's a pronounced reaction, or OVER-reaction, to the massive
self-doubt that he keep well-hidden beneath his self-satisfied facade he
present to others.
Rudy's marked lack of accurate empathy for the feelings, wants, and needs of
others is all too well known. But what is less appreciated is that this
deficiency represents an unfortunate consequence of his growing up so
preoccupied with his own frustrated needs, and emotional distress generally,
that he could never develop sufficient sensitivity to others. Intensely driven
to succeed, or at least see himself as successful, his focus inevitably became
myopic, pathologically self-centered. Others simply weren't in his line of
(tunnel) vision.
Without any clear recognition of what's motivating Rudy in his relationships
as an adult, he continues to seek the encouragement, support, and acceptance
denied him earlier.
Yet, however unconsciously, at the same time, he's cultivated the strongest
defenses against ever having to feel so excruciatingly vulnerable again. And so
when Rudy criticized, or think Rudy being criticized, Rudy is compelled to
react aggressively, in the frantic effort to avoid re-experiencing the terrible
feelings of loneliness, abandonment, or rejection he suffered when he were
younger.
It's especially suggestive that two common terms in the psychoanalytic
literature used to describe NPD are "narcissistic injury" and "narcissistic
rage." The "injury" results from his parents' deficiencies in being able to
adequately nurture him, and so make him feel loved, a prerequisite for
self-love.
This is why he needs to prove himself constantly, arrogantly claiming
superiority over others that can make himself feel "good enough" to be loved.
"My education surpasses yours by far, "Fix-it guy at Citco." You know this."
"It's a neologism - a very good one at that. It describes when a highly
literate person like me inadvertently - and *rarely* - uses the wrong word."
But ironically, it serves in time only to alienate others. (duh)
It's precisely this need to be viewed as perfect, superlative, or infallible
that makes Rudy so hypersensitive to criticism.
His typical reaction to criticism, disagreement, challenges can lead to the
"narcissistic rage" that is another of his trademarks.
"I'm probably wasting my time, because stupid, plodding, knuckle-dragging
right-wingnuts are not amenable to instruction..."
"Jane, you rancid mackerel-reeking cunt."
To protect his delicate ego in the face of such intensely felt danger, Rudy's
decidedly at risk for going ballistic against his perceived adversary.
This indicates why his artificially bloated sense of self is so fragile. Given
the enormity of his defenses, he regard himself not on a par with, but above,
others.
Yet Rudy's mortally threatened when anyone dares question his words or
behavior. Ancient fears about not being accepted are never that far from the
surface, which is why narcissists, like Rudy, must forever be on his guard with
anyone who might disbelieve or doubt him. For any external expression of doubt
can tap into his own self-doubts.
And this is why, though he can certainly "dish it out", he just can't "take
it"
himself. Obviously, if the child self was unequivocally convinced about his
basic acceptability-adequately integrated into his adult self-he wouldn't need
to boast about his accomplishments, or vehemently debate anyone who took
exception to his viewpoint. But narcissists, like Rudy, see his best defense
as mandating a good offense.
To sum up the above, when criticized, narcissists, like Rudy, can begin to
experience anxiety or degradation. A certain shame at his non-family-bonded
core may rise perilously close to consciousness. By way of safeguarding himself
from such never-resolved feelings of worthlessness or defeat, Rudy's likely to
react to present-day threats with contempt or defiance, or with verbal violence
frequently referred to as narcissistic rage.
Exquisitely susceptible to criticism because it endangers his frail sense of
internal validation, he takes great pains to devalue or invalidate the person
criticizing him. To achieve such a dismissal, he'll do everything possible to
negate their viewpoint.
This can include much more than blaming or indignantly challenging him. When
Rudy's position has been exposed as false, arbitrary, or untenable, he will
suddenly become evasive, articulate half-truths, lie, flat-out contradict
himself and freely rewrite history (making things up as he go along).
This is why at such times, he doesn't seem like an adult, so much as a
6-year-old.
And in fact, when others inadvertently trigger mini emotional crises in him,
there's little doubt that, both cognitively and emotionally, he can regress.
So what's the final cost of all of Rudy's efforts to ward off what constitutes
for him the unbearable sting of criticism? As already suggested, it's immense.
Though not consciously realized by him, his heart's deepest desire is to form
an intimate bond with another that would successfully address the huge void
left by his parents' denigration or neglect.
But because Rudy's so strongly motivated to avoid re-experiencing this keenly
felt hurt, his overpowering defenses prevent him from letting anyone get close
enough to assist him in recovering from his pain.
(poor mommy!)
A pain that he conceals quite as much from himself as others.
******************************************************************************
Part 4 - Rudy Low Self Esteem
This is Rudy: https://i.imgur.com/6yNwiqK.mp4
Rudy "Low-Self-Esteem" Canoza... someone who always "THINKS" he knows
everything ABOUT everything and has to have the last word in ANY conversation
or argument. That's why he HAS to reply to EVERY post about him, or it drives
him crazy enough to not being able to sleep.
What is Low Self-Esteem?
Low self-esteem is when someone lacks confidence about who they are and what
they can do. They often feel incompetent, unloved, or inadequate. People who
struggle with low self-esteem are consistently afraid about making mistakes or
letting other people down.
Having self-esteem issues can be detrimental to their health and negatively
affect their personal and professional relationships. There are many reasons
why they may have low self-esteem - their genes, how and where they grew up,
and other life circumstances all play a role.
A major factor of low self-esteem, however, comes from their own mental state.
Their inner voice, or the thoughts in their head, can be constantly telling
them that they are not good enough or worth anything, even if there is evidence
to the contrary. Negative thinking in general is linked to low self-worth and
low self-esteem.
Signs of Low Self-Esteem
There are several signs that either they or someone they know may be struggling
with low self-esteem. Those signs of low self-esteem include:
Sensitivity to Criticism
If they have low self-esteem they may be extra sensitive to criticism, whether
from others or themselves. They see it only as reinforcing their flaws and
confirming that they are incapable of doing anything right.
Social Withdrawal
Declining invitations to go to a party or meet up with friends, canceling
scheduled plans last-minute, and generally not wanting to be around others are
signs of low self-esteem. They may not have any desire to hold a conversation
or talk about their life because it will only reinforce the depression and
anxiety they are already experiencing.
Hostility
For someone with low self-esteem, lashing out or becoming aggressive towards
others is a defense mechanism. If they feel that they are about to be exposed
or criticized, attacking whoever might criticize them can be a sign of low
self-esteem.
Excessive Preoccupation with Personal Problems
Consistently worrying about their own personal issues takes up a lot of time
for someone with low self-esteem. They may struggle to help or empathize with
someone else's problems because they are too preoccupied with their own.
Physical Symptoms
Low self-esteem has been shown to lead to mental and physical health issues
like depression, anxiety, and anorexia. It can also lead to unhealthy habits
like smoking tobacco, alcohol abuse, or drug use.
Dealing with Low Self-Esteem
They can overcome low self-esteem with the right support, mindset, and change
in behaviors. Start with these steps to begin improving their self-esteem:
Identify Troubling Conditions and Situations
Take a moment to think about certain conditions and situations in their life
that seem to always deflate their self-esteem. It could be giving a work
presentation, dealing with a difficult family member or friend, or facing a
life-changing event, like a job loss or a move.
Become Aware of their Thoughts and Beliefs
After they've identified the times in their life where they have felt low
self-esteem, evaluate their thoughts about they. How are they interpreting what
happened? These thoughts could be either positive, negative, or neutral. They
can be based on facts or irrational and false ideas.
If they take a moment to notice what they are thinking, they can begin to
understand whether or not their reactions to what has happened are appropriate
and useful.
Challenge Negative or Inaccurate Thoughts
It is important to ask themselves whether their thoughts are consistent with
facts or logic. There could be another explanation for a situation that is
truer than their interpretation. Sometimes it is hard to break from long-held
beliefs that have become part of their reality. Understand that it can take
time and patience to overcome any negative preconceived notions toward their
life that they've built up.
Adjust their mindset
They've been able to identify the times where they've felt a blow to their
self-esteem. They've become self-aware about how and why they have the thoughts
and feelings towards those events. Now they can take a step back and analyze
those thoughts and emotions. them now have the power to change their thought
patterns to raise their self-esteem.
Remember to think and feel hopeful statements, focus on the positive aspects of
all situations, and not be afraid to relabel upsetting thoughts. And most
importantly, don't hesitate to forgive yourself. No one is perfect and everyone
makes mistakes. It doesn't make them a bad person-it just makes them human.
*******************************************************************************
Part 5 - Rudy Neurotic
Rudy's neuroses, also called psychoneurosis or plural psychoneuroses, mental
disorder, causes a sense of distress and deficit in functioning.
Rudy's neuroses are characterized by anxiety, depression, or other feelings of
unhappiness or distress that are out of proportion to the circumstances of a
Rudy's life.
They may impair Rudy's functioning in virtually any area of his life,
relationships, or external affairs, but they are not severe enough to
incapacitate the person, hence his constant posting on Usenet.
Psychiatrists first used the term neurosis in the mid-19th century to
categorize Rudy's symptoms, thought to be neurological in origin; the prefix
"psycho-" was added some decades later when it became clear that mental and
emotional factors were important in the etiology of his disorders.
An influential view held by the psychoanalytic tradition is that Rudy's
neuroses arise from intrapsychic conflict (conflict between different drives,
impulses, and motives held within various components of the mind).
Central to psychoanalytic theory, which was founded by Austrian neurologist
Sigmund Freud, is the postulated existence of an unconscious part of Rudy's
mind which, among other functions, acts as a repository for repressed thoughts,
feelings, and memories that are disturbing or otherwise unacceptable to the
conscious mind.
Rudy's repressed mental contents are typically homo-sexually or aggressive
urges or painful memories of an emotional loss or an unsatisfied longing dating
from childhood.
Anxiety arises when Rudy's unacceptable and repressiveness drives threaten to
enter consciousness; prompted by anxiety, the conscious part of the mind (the
ego) tries to deflect the emergence into consciousness of the repressed mental
contents through the use of defense mechanisms such as repression, denial, or
reaction formation.
Neurotic symptoms often begin when a previously impermeable defense mechanism
breaks down and a forbidden drive or impulse threatens to enter consciousness.
(like when AlleyCat kicks his ass)
While the psychoanalytic theory has continued to be influential, another
prominent view, associated with behavioral psychology, represents neurosis as a
learned, inappropriate response to stress that can be unlearned. A third view,
stemming from cognitive theory, emphasizes the way in which maladaptive
thinking-such as the fear of possible punishment-promotes an inaccurate
perception of the self and surrounding events. Types
Obsessive-compulsive disorders are characterized by the irresistible entry of
unwanted ideas, thoughts, or feelings into consciousness or by the need to
repeatedly perform ritualistic actions that the sufferer perceives as
unnecessary or unwarranted. Obsessive ideas may include recurrent violent or
obscene thoughts; compulsive behaviour includes rituals such as repetitive hand
washing or door locking. The drug clomipramine has proved effective in treating
many patients with obsessive-compulsive disorders.
Somatoform disorders, which include the so-called hysterical, or conversion,
neuroses, manifest themselves in physical symptoms, such as blindness,
paralysis, or deafness that are not caused by organic disease. Hysteria was
among the earliest syndromes to be understood and treated by psychoanalysts,
who believe that such symptoms result from fixations or arrested stages in an
individual's early psycho-sexual development.
In anxiety disorders, anxiety is the principal feature, manifesting itself
either in relatively short, acute anxiety attacks or in a chronic sense of
nameless dread. Persons undergoing anxiety attacks may suffer from digestive
upsets, excessive perspiration, headaches, heart palpitations, restlessness,
insomnia, disturbances in appetite, and impaired concentration. Phobia, a type
of anxiety disorder, is represented by inappropriate fears that are triggered
by specific situations or objects. Some common objects of phobias are open or
closed spaces, fire, high places, dirt, and bacteria.
Depression, when neither excessively severe nor prolonged, is regarded as a
neurosis. A depressed person feels sad, hopeless, and pessimistic and may be
listless, easily fatigued, slow in thought and action, and have a reduced
appetite and difficulty in sleeping.
Post-traumatic stress disorder is a syndrome appearing in people who have
endured some highly traumatic event, such as a natural disaster, torture, or
incarceration in a concentration camp. The symptoms include nightmares, a
diffuse anxiety, and guilt over having survived when others perished.
Depersonalization disorder consists of the experiencing of the world or oneself
as strange, altered, unreal, or mechanical in quality.
******************************************************************************
Part 6 - Rudy Psychoses
Rudy's psychosis is characterized by an impaired relationship with reality.
It's a symptom of serious mental disorders. People who are experiencing
psychosis may have delusions.
The person experiencing psychosis may also have thoughts that are contrary to
actual EVIDENCE.
These thoughts are known as delusions. Some people with psychosis may also
experience loss of motivation and social withdrawal.
(like spending ALL day on Usenet, instead of socially interacting)
These experiences can be frightening. They may also cause people who are
experiencing psychosis to hurt themselves or others.
"I can kill you with one hand. You know this."
"Thanks for kicking my faggot ass."
"I've beaten you to a bloody pulp"
"... you you no-fight faggot."
"Kicked your flabby faggot ass again. Yes."
It's important to see a doctor right away if you or someone you know is
experiencing symptoms of psychosis.
Symptoms of psychosis include:
depressed mood sleeping too much or not enough anxiety suspiciousness
withdrawal from family and friends delusions disorganized speech, such as
switching topics erratically depression suicidal thoughts or actions
A delusion is a false belief or impression that is firmly held even though it's
contradicted by reality and what is commonly considered true. There are
delusions of paranoia, grandiose delusions, and somatic delusions.
People who are experiencing a delusion of paranoia might think that they are
being followed when they aren't or that secret messages are being sent to them.
Someone with a grandiose delusion will have an exaggerated sense of importance.
Somatic delusion is when a person believes they have a terminal illness, but in
reality they're healthy.
******************************************************************************
Part 7 - Rudy Short
Rudy's Little Man's Disease: A disease of short males marked by aggressive
antisocial behavior and constant overcompensation resulting in pompous
mannerisms such as spitting, twitching, swearing, speaking loudly and tough
talk.
"I can kill you with one hand. You know this." - Rudy
The disease only affects teenagers or men who are less than 5' 6" tall.
"I'm about eight inches shorter than Trump [6' 2"]." - Rudy
The severity of this disease is inversely proportional to the height of the
sufferer. Other characteristics of this scourge are a very short penis, acne,
low I.Q and bad etiquette.
Often these males are homophobic to the point of insanity because of latent
sexual orientation issues.
**FAGGOT!**
"Fixed your lie, you you no-fight faggot." - Rudy
"Thanks for kicking my faggot ass." - Rudy
"'Self' is redundant, you toothless squat-to-piss no-fight faggot. - Rudy
"I've beaten *you* to a bloody pulp, you squat-to-piss *no-fight* faggot -
every fucking time. You're a zero, as every, stale, squat-to-piss *no-fight*
faggot who incessantly bleats about "mommy's basement" *ALWAYS* is." - Rudy
"... you you no-fight faggot." - Rudy
"... you toothless squat-to-piss no-fight faggot" - Rudy
"Kicked your flabby faggot ass again. Yes." - Rudy
"You a Squat-to-Piss Faggot." - Rudy
"The disgusting gurgling, slurping sounds below are just the faggots Hartung,
Sanitary Napkin and Bit of Nothingness enjoying a three-way" - Rudy
"YOU lose, Nazi faggot." - Rudy
Little Man's Disease is an untreatable epidemic in this country.
This is Rudy: https://i.imgur.com/6yNwiqK.mp4
******************************************************************************
Part 8 - Rudy Split Person
Rudy's split personality refers to dissociative identity disorder (DID), a
mental disorder where a person has two or more distinct personalities (nym-
shifting).
The thoughts, actions, and behaviors of each personality may not be completely
different.
Trauma often causes this condition, particularly during childhood. (Mommy
spanked him hard) While there is no defined cure for DID, long-term treatment
(posting on Usenet) may help people combine their personalities into one.
[giggle]
People with DID have two or more distinct personalities. They do not present as
simple changes in traits or moods. A person with DID may or may not express
differences between these alternate identities, which can also be referred to
as alters.
Often, these personalities are completely different from each other. These
fragmented personalities take control of the person's identity for some time.
A person also maintains their primary or host identity, which is their original
personality, and will answer to their given name. Their primary identity is
generally more passive, and they may be unaware of the other personalities.
When a personality change happens, the new personality will have a distinct
history, a new identity, and different behaviors.
These split personalities, or alters, often have their own distinct:
name (Rudy, Bill Flett, 100s of others) age gender moods memories vocabulary
(grammar Nazi fucks up too)
A new personality will see themselves differently. For instance, someone
assigned male at birth may have an alternate identity as a woman. They may
experience themselves with female biological sex characteristics.
The shift between these personalities tends to occur when a person faces a
certain stressor or trigger. Causes
The exact cause of DID is not fully understood. However, there is a strong link
between the condition and trauma. This may be particularly true for trauma or
abuse during childhood. In Europe, the United States, and Canada, 90% of people
who experience DID are victims of severe trauma in childhood.
The condition represents someone who struggles to integrate and assimilate
certain aspects of their own identity, which become disjointed over time. Signs
and symptoms
The signs of DID may vary, but they include a change between two or more
separate personalities.
Symptoms include:
Experiencing two or more separate personalities, each with their own self-
identity and perceptions.
A notable change in a person's sense of self.
Frequent gaps in memory and personal history, which are not due to normal
forgetfulness, including loss of memories, and forgetting everyday events.
When these other personalities take over, they often talk with a different
vocabulary, and gesture differently. In some cases, one personality may also
pick up certain habits that the other does not, such as smoking, or becoming
violent.
In the shift from one personality to another, a person may experience other
symptoms. Some people can have anxiety, as they may be afraid of the
personality change. Some may become very angry or violent. Others may not
notice or remember these transitions at all, although another person may notice
them.
Specific personalities may appear in response to certain situations. These
symptoms can cause a person significant distress, and disrupt their ability to
live their life normally.
Other symptoms may include:
amnesia (forgets how to spell or speak right) losing sense of time going into a
trance-like state out-of-body experiences, or depersonalization engaging in
behaviors that are unusual for the person sleep disturbances
A person with DID may also experience symptoms of other conditions, such as
self-harm. One study notes that more than 70% of people with DID have attempted
suicide.
******************************************************************************
Part 9 - Rudy's Egomania
Rudy "Low-Self-Esteem" Canoza... someone who always has to have the last word
in a conversation or an argument. That's why he HAS to reply to EVERY post
about him, or it drives him crazy enough to not being able to sleep.
Everyone has come across this type of person and knows how plain sad it is when
you see it.
Having the last word is closely associated with ego, though those who exhibit
these traits are far from anyone who SHOULD be egomaniacal.
Egomaniacs always have to have the last word. It gives them a feeling of power
(LOL... Rudy HAS no power), as if they immediate draw all of the power of the
person they are communicating with and become powerful due to it.
[giggle]
This feeling is short-lived (until he sees my next post), as it is only a state
of mind, and most people who have any sense of understanding of human
psychology knows that people that do this are only doing it because they feel
INSECURE... competitive, HARDHEADED, and LACK CONFIDENCE, often in their own
intellect or are in need of covering tracks.
Greek Methodology explains this well. Echo, a mountain nymph, had to have the
last word in everything, and it was her undoing. While Echo was
beautiful with a musical voice, and people enjoyed hearing her talk,
this eventually went to her head.
Echo took so much pleasure in having the last word in both arguments and normal
conversations, that eventually it became her undoing. As the story goes, she
fell in love with Narcissus, and he rejected her. In return she begged him not
to.
Narcissus broke her heart and Echo wasted away and was doomed to a very
sad life.
A person, like Rudy, who has to have the last word is fundamentally flawed.
Their flaws are there for the world to see. They may be charismatic and draw
people in, but if you listen to their conversations and in the modern age, look
at their posts on social media, you will see a common thread of egocentricity
and a NEED for supremacy.
Those who have to have the last word feel uncomfortable, when that power is
taken away from them and they usually end up fighting or in an argument because
this has been taken away from them.
They lash out (FAGGOT!) and look for ways to rectify this. People with this
"disease" usually strive to be the only voice over the people around them.
They often never rise to the top in career or business (or START one at all),
so they adapt their personal profiles so that they can be seen as "winning" in
some area that they feel no-one can compete.
Their need for respect and to be liked, more so than those around them, usually
is their undoing.
If you have to have the last say, think to yourself, "what am I afraid of?"
(people who have done better things with their lives than YOU, Rudy)
Because ultimately, having the last say, means nothing.
****************************************************************************
Part 10 - Rudy Can't Be Wrong
This Is Why Rudy Can't Admit He's Wrong
They say it takes a big person to admit their mistakes, but for Rudy, saying
he's wrong feels impossible.
Be it your partner, your boss or, God forbid, your in-laws, dealing with Rudy,
even when faced with overwhelming evidence of a bungle, just can't cop blame
can be frustrating.
(this is perfect)
But why does Rudy do it? We've asked psychologist Dr. Tim Sharp, chief
happiness officer at The Happiness Institute, to explain:
THEY THINK BEING WRONG MEANS THEY'RE UNWORTHY - Yup... Low-Self-Esteem
For Rudy, conceding that he's fallible can evoke a deep psychological anxiety
regarding "the risks or the consequences associated with loss or failure," says
Sharp.
"I think the reason Rudy can't apologize isn't actually because they don't like
to be wrong, but because it's seen as an inherent character fault," he
explains.
[giggle]
Sharp says that for non-apologists, the irrational need to always be "perfect"
rules their ego and they feel their screw-ups are unforgivable.
"The difficulty in admitting failure largely comes from the unrealistic
expectation that 'I should get it right all the time,'" he says.
Rudy Thinks Never Admitting Fault Makes Him Look Stronger
(this is perfect)
For Rudy, appearing apologetic is congruent to appearing weak, but Sharp says
they could not be more wrong, because a good leader admits their mistakes.
"There's some actually very interesting research that leaders who express
vulnerability and are more open to being fallible tend to be more highly
regarded," the expert explains.
According to him, a boss' deep sense of accountability can inspire people to
think of them as "highly trusted" and conjure "higher levels of engagement and
productivity."
"This makes sense because if someone is saying, 'I'm 100 percent perfect, I'm
100 percent right all the time,' that's pretty hard to believe," says the
psychologist.
(THAT'S our Rudy)
"I'd find it hard to trust that person because there's no one I know 100
percent perfect.
Whereas if Rudy would say, 'You know, I'm going to do my best but I'll make
mistakes sometimes, I'll get it wrong, I'm sorry but I'll try to fix it,'... to
me, that's more believable. I'd be more trusting of that sort of person."
They Don't Value The Truth
(NO liberal does... THAT'S their M.O.)
For Rudy, the fact is he "doesn't necessarily value truth and honesty," says
Sharp.
"While I personally value truth and honesty, what I've come to learn, which I
find hard to understand but it's just a reality, is that Rudy doesn't value
those things as highly as me," says Sharp.
Taking political discussion as an example, the expert says Rudy, who eats up
"fake news" propaganda, doesn't value facts. When it comes to the truth, the
expert warns that Rudy "will literally say, 'I don't really care.'"
"Rudy doesn't care about it because he values other aspects of what they're
perceiving much more," he says.
Citing the upsurge of alt-left political movements around the world, Sharp says
how Rudy approaches a situation will often reveal whether facts or feelings
will influence them more.
"[Logical people] will look for facts and information and data and make their
decisions accordingly," he explains. "Other people make their decisions based
on much more emotion. Now the problem comes when you try to talk logic to an
emotional person because it just won't wear... you're talking different
languages.
***************************************************************************
Part 11 - Rudy Can't Stop Lying
There are several theories for why some people can't stop lying.
Rudy's a narcissist.
Narcissists are often pathological liars, because they simply don't care about
the truth.
They prefer to tell lies and gain control over people than be honest.
Sometimes, compulsive liars are highly impulsive people who struggle to take
the time to think things through and tell the truth.
Lying doesn't necessarily make you a bad person, but it could be a sign of
something more sinister.
By the age of three or four, we all start to lie. At this point in our brain's
development, we learn that we have an incredibly versatile and powerful tool at
our disposal - our language - and we can use it to actually play with reality
and affect the outcome of what's happening.
Sooner or later we learn that lying is "bad," and we shouldn't really do it.
But if Jim Carey's "Liar Liar" taught us anything, it's that this just isn't
feasible. We all have to lie sometimes.
But some people are pathological liars, meaning they can't stop spreading
misinformation about themselves and others. The psychological reasons for why
some people are this way is a bit of a mystery, but in the third edition of the
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, pathological lying is a
disorder in its own right, as well as a symptom of personality disorders like
psychopathy and narcissism.
"I think it comes from a defect in the neurological wiring in terms of what
causes us to have compassion and empathy," psychiatrist Judith Orloff, author
of "The Empath's Survival Guide," told Business Insider. "Because narcissists,
sociopaths, and psychopaths have what's called empathy deficient disorder,
meaning they don't feel empathy in the way we would."
The Truth Doesn't Matter to Narcissists
When you don't care about other people, lies don't seem to matter. A lack of
empathy essentially means a lack of conscience, which is a hard concept to
grasp for a lot of people.
"When they lie it doesn't hurt them in the same way it would hurt us," Orloff
said. "So many people get into relationships with pathological liars, or just
can't understand why they're lying, because they're trying to fit these people
into the ordinary standards of what it means to be empathetic."
But they don't fit. In fact, they may not even realize they are lying half the
time, because they're not conscious of it. Orloff said they actually believe
they are telling the truth a lot of the time. It's not so much about the fact
itself, she said, as it is about wanting to have power over somebody.
This is extremely dangerous for highly sensitive people, because they attract
narcissists. Then when they see someone is lying, they try and figure it out,
or blame themselves. Once the lies start, it can end with the victim being
gaslighted, which is essentially when they are told over and over again that
their version of reality is incorrect, and they begin to believe the warped
truth of the abuser.
"The great power of relationships is when you can tell the truth to one
another, and trust each other, and be authentic - and with pathological liars
you can't trust them," Orloff said. "You can't base your life around them. It's
like a moral deficit, and there's no accountability. Someone who is a
pathological liar will not say I'm sorry for doing it. They will say it's your
fault."
The only way to escape the clutches of a pathological liar is to be strong
enough to say "no this is not my fault, this is not ringing true to me, so I
can't really trust you," she said.
Unfortunately, people tend to doubt themselves, because the lies can escalate
subtly. It may start with a small white lie, and a few months later the
victim's life with be a mess of confusion because of the web of tall tales that
has been woven.
"If somebody lies, don't try and make an excuse about it," Orloff said. "A lie
is a lie. And if you bring it up to the person and they say it's your fault, or
no it didn't happen, just know there's something very wrong going on."
Psychologist Linda Blair, an author of many psychology books, told Business
Insider some compulsive liars are simply too impulsive to tell the truth. The
impulsive-reflective scale is ingrained in our genes, and it's very hard for
someone highly impulsive to take the time to think things through, just as it
is a challenge for a reflective person to jump into something head first.
"If you're an impulsive person, it's really hard to break the habit, because
you have this terrible feeling inside you that you have to sort things out
right now," Blair said. "So when it comes to your head, you just say it. That
doesn't mean you necessarily lie, but it's a little harder for you to stop from
lying, more than it is for someone who's more reflective."
Pathological lying and narcissism aren't synonymous, they just sometimes go
hand in hand. In other cases, compulsive liars just might not have the capacity
to stop themselves blurting things out. And Blair said they just need to learn
to control their urges and compulsions. Their lies don't necessarily come from
a bad place.
"I don't think it's something they know how to deal with," she said. "We think
probably it has something to do with actual brain function and the way some
people's brains work, which makes it much harder for them to understand the
effect it will have on other people... We think, but we just don't know yet for
sure."
******************************************************************************
Part 12 - Rudy Hates
Fear of "The Other"
According to A.J. Marsden, assistant professor of psychology and human services
at Beacon College in Leesburg, Florida, one reason Rudy hates is because he
fears things that are different from himself.
Behavioral researcher Patrick Wanis, cites the in-group out-group theory, which
posits that when Rudy feels threatened by perceived outsiders, he instinctively
turns toward our in-group-those with whom Rudy identifies as a survival
mechanism.
Wanis explains, "Hatred is driven by two key emotions of love and aggression:
One love for the in-group-the group that is favored; and two, aggression for
the out-group-the group that has been deemed as being different, dangerous, and
a threat to the in-group."
Fear of Himself
According to Washington, D.C., clinical psychologist Dana Harron, the things
Rudy hates about others, are the things that he fears within himself. She
suggests thinking about the targeted group or person as a movie screen onto
which Rudy projects unwanted parts of the self. The idea is, "I'm not terrible;
you are."
This phenomenon is known as projection, a term coined by Freud to describe our
tendency to reject what Rudy doesn't like about himself. Psychologist Brad
Reedy further describes projection as Rudy's need to be good, which causes him
to project "badness" outward and attack it:
"Rudy developed this method to survive, for any 'badness' in him puts him at
risk for being rejected and alone. So, Rudy represses the things that he thinks
are bad (what others told him or suggested to him that was unlovable and
morally reprehensible) - and Rudy employs hate and judgment towards others.
Rudy thinks that is how one rids himself of undesirable traits, but this method
only perpetuates repression which leads to many mental health issues.
BINGO!
Lack of Self-compassion
The antidote to hate is compassion - for others as well as ourselves.
Self-compassion means that Rudy accept his whole self. "If Rudy finds part of
himself unacceptable, he tends to attack others in order to defend against the
threat," says Reedy.
"If Rudy is okay with himself, he see others' behaviors as 'about them' and can
respond with compassion. If I kept hate in my heart for [another], I would have
to hate myself as well. It is only when Rudy learns to hold himself with
compassion that Rudy may be able to demonstrate it toward others."
It fills a void
Psychologist Bernard Golden, author of Overcoming Destructive Anger: Strategies
That Work, believes that when hate involves participation in a group (like
Usenet), it may help foster a sense of connection and camaraderie that fills a
void in one's identity. He describes hatred of individuals or groups as a way
of distracting oneself from the more challenging and anxiety-provoking task of
creating one's own identity:
(BINGO! coming up)
"Acts of hate are attempts to distract oneself from feelings such as
helplessness, powerlessness, injustice, inadequacy and shame. Hate is grounded
in some sense of perceived threat. It is an attitude that can give rise to
hostility and aggression toward individuals or groups. Like much of anger, it
is a reaction to and distraction from some form of inner pain. The individual
consumed by hate may believe that the only way to regain some sense of power
over his or her pain is to preemptively strike out at others. In this context,
each moment of hate is a temporary reprieve from inner suffering."
BINGO!
Societal and Cultural Factors
The answer to why Rudy hates, according to Silvia Dutchevici, LCSW, president
and founder of the Critical Therapy Center, lies not only in our psychological
makeup or family history, but also in our cultural and political history. "Rudy
lives in a war culture that promotes violence, in which competition is a way of
life," she says.
"Rudy fears connecting because it requires us to reveal something about
himself. Rudy was taught to hate the enemy - meaning anyone different than us -
which leaves little room for vulnerability and an exploration of hate through
empathic discourse and understanding. In our current society, one is more ready
to fight than to resolve conflict. Peace is seldom the option."
What Can Rudy Do?
Hatred has to be learned, Golden says: "Rudy was born with the capacity for
aggression as well as compassion. Which tendencies Rudy embraces requires
mindful choice by individuals, families, communities and our culture in
general. The key to overcoming hate is education: at home, in schools, and in
the community."
According to Dutchevici, facing the fear of being vulnerable and utterly human
is what allows us to connect, to feel, and ultimately, to love. She suggests
creating "cracks in the system." These cracks can be as simple as connecting to
your neighbor, talking with a friend, starting a protest, or even going to
therapy and connecting with an 'Other.' It is through these acts that one can
understand hate and love."
In other words, compassion towards others is the true context that heals.