Post by Jibini Kula Tumbili KujisalimishaThat some (or even many, or even most) people find such a position
stupid and offensive does not mean that there is no one who believes
it.
That in *itself*, though, is not particularly relevant. So what if a very few
wild-eyed radical feminists believe something that hardly anyone else takes
seriously?
Instead, though, there _is_ a real question here.
Yes, the notion that regret equals rape is preposterous on its face.
However, sometimes one gets the impression that a significant segment of the
feminist movement believes this outrageous thing. That could mean a number of
things.
Some of the possibilities, of course, reflect badly on the feminist movement.
But perhaps there are other possibilities we should also take a look at.
Men, from their experience of dealing with other men *as equals*, naturally tend
to see consent as a black-and-white thing. On the one hand, there's normal free-
market fair dealings, and on the other hand there's a robbery where someone
pulls out a gun.
But men are... *bigger* than women.
So where men see a black-and-white cut-and-dried dichotomy, women might see a
huge murky grey area.
A woman goes out on a date - if she doesn't do that, she'll never find a husband - she's in this guy's car, and...
it seems to her that it would be less unpleasant to give in to his desires,
although that wasn't what she wanted to do just yet, then have the situation
escalate to a violent rape.
She felt herself to be under duress, but he can claim she never let him know it
wasn't what she wanted.
This is not some bizarrely rare situation - rather, it is distressingly *all too
common*, although to safeguard their reputations, women only recently have begun
to speak of it except in private among other women they can trust.
John Savard