Bloomin’ Earworms...

Post by Mike
Seemed to have phoned our Doctor’s surgery so many times recently that
their ‘waiting’ muzak has wormed its’ way into my brain Dammit!

I've had the Tom & Jerry theme music since Saturday morning, thanks to
Radio 3 playing a rather good Black Dyke Band recording of it. I
surprised other half by recognising it instantly - but does any other
piece begin with that rising "da da da da dum de dum"?

My dentist luckily answers the phone almost instantly. Extraction booked
for tomorrow afternoon.

--
Jim <http://www.jim-easterbrook.me.uk/>
1959/1985? M B+ G+ A L- I- S- P-- CH0(p) Ar++ T+ H0 Q--- Sh0

J. P. Gilliver (John)

2020-07-21 23:22:55 UTC

On Tue, 21 Jul 2020 at 17:46:43, Jim Easterbrook

Post by Mike
Seemed to have phoned our Doctor’s surgery so many times recently that
their ‘waiting’ muzak has wormed its’ way into my brain Dammit!

At risk to our sanity - what is it?

Post by Jim Easterbrook
I've had the Tom & Jerry theme music since Saturday morning, thanks to
Radio 3 playing a rather good Black Dyke Band recording of it. I
surprised other half by recognising it instantly - but does any other
piece begin with that rising "da da da da dum de dum"?

I can't audialise (?) T&J as you describe. You drove me to

http://www.televisiontunes.com/Tom_and_Jerry_-_Fred_Quimby_Era.html
(ah, I can visualise the lettering still), or generally

http://www.televisiontunes.com/search.php?q=tom+and+jerry
, but none of the ones I tried matched the description.

(WARNING - I think I've mentioned http://www.televisiontunes.com/
before; one can easily spend hours there. [Has radio too, and a few
other things. American-biased, but a lot of British stuff too.])

Post by Jim Easterbrook
My dentist luckily answers the phone almost instantly. Extraction booked
for tomorrow afternoon.

I now have vision of your dentist extracting your 'phone from ...

(Actually, _that_ now reminds me of

...)

--
J. P. Gilliver. UMRA: 1960/<1985 MB++G()AL-IS-Ch++(p)***@T+H+Sh0!:`)DNAf

I hope you dream a pig.

Jim Easterbrook

2020-07-22 06:19:59 UTC

Post by J. P. Gilliver (John)
On Tue, 21 Jul 2020 at 17:46:43, Jim Easterbrook

Try the very start of this one:

--
Jim <http://www.jim-easterbrook.me.uk/>
1959/1985? M B+ G+ A L- I- S- P-- CH0(p) Ar++ T+ H0 Q--- Sh0

J. P. Gilliver (John)

2020-07-22 12:55:32 UTC

On Wed, 22 Jul 2020 at 06:19:59, Jim Easterbrook

Post by J. P. Gilliver (John)
On Tue, 21 Jul 2020 at 17:46:43, Jim Easterbrook

Try the very start of this one: http://youtu.be/uJrOUnBdmdw

Ah, I think that's the same as my Fred Quimby one above (except the
YouTube one cuts off the final diminuendo).

I see what you mean about the 'rising "da da da da dum de dum"', and I
agree I can't think of anything with that phrase so prominently; but
that is at 9" into a 22 or 24" piece, so I initially didn't get it when
you said "begin with".

I'd like to have heard the Black Dyke rendering, too.

There are lots of really short pieces of music like that, of which the
composers don't get enough credit - I suspect in most cases are
completely unknown. Many in commercials - cookability, Fairy, Pepsodent,
intel ... (a notable exception being John Williams' five notes, but that
was part of a complete film).

--
J. P. Gilliver. UMRA: 1960/<1985 MB++G()AL-IS-Ch++(p)***@T+H+Sh0!:`)DNAf

Every kid starts out as a natural-born scientist, and then we beat it out of
them. A few trickle through the system with their wonder and enthusiasm for
science intact. - Carl Sagan (interview w. Psychology Today published '96-1-1)

Serena Blanchflower

2020-07-22 18:38:50 UTC

Post by J. P. Gilliver (John)
I'd like to have heard the Black Dyke rendering, too.

Easily found:

--
Best wishes, Serena
42.7 % of all statistics... are made up on the spot!

J. P. Gilliver (John)

2020-07-22 20:33:35 UTC

Post by Serena Blanchflower

[I remembered at the last minute before posting to amend the apostrophe
in the subject line so E-S won't bounce my post!]

On Wed, 22 Jul 2020 at 19:38:50, Serena Blanchflower

Post by J. P. Gilliver (John)
I'd like to have heard the Black Dyke rendering, too.

Easily found: http://youtu.be/1RW5p1XxsWs

Thanks.

I enjoyed the piece YouTube took me to next -

Though I'm now stuck trying
to identify the tune that comes at 1:07-1:22 (so just a fragment) in
that one; I think it's something Porter or Coward or Gershwin, that era
anyway.

Did Scott Bradley write the main theme?

--
J. P. Gilliver. UMRA: 1960/<1985 MB++G()AL-IS-Ch++(p)***@T+H+Sh0!:`)DNAf

Sarcasm: Barbed ire

Penny

2020-07-22 21:40:48 UTC

On Wed, 22 Jul 2020 21:33:35 +0100, "J. P. Gilliver (John)"

Post by J. P. Gilliver (John)
I enjoyed the piece YouTube took me to next -
http://youtu.be/seka_xO0UwI Though I'm now stuck trying
to identify the tune that comes at 1:07-1:22 (so just a fragment) in
that one; I think it's something Porter or Coward or Gershwin, that era
anyway.

I think it is then repeated more loudly (or brassily) up to 1:40 but I
can't pin it down either, the end of it reminds me of "but he never said he
loved me" but it isn't.

--
Penny
Annoyed by The Archers since 1959

J. P. Gilliver (John)

2020-07-23 04:37:52 UTC

Post by Penny
On Wed, 22 Jul 2020 21:33:35 +0100, "J. P. Gilliver (John)"

I think it is then repeated more loudly (or brassily) up to 1:40 but I

Agreed.

Post by Penny
can't pin it down either, the end of it reminds me of "but he never said he
loved me" but it isn't.

Anyone else?

--
J. P. Gilliver. UMRA: 1960/<1985 MB++G()AL-IS-Ch++(p)***@T+H+Sh0!:`)DNAf

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite.
- J. K. Galbraith, economist

Sam Plusnet

2020-07-23 18:16:54 UTC

Post by J. P. Gilliver (John)

Post by Penny
On Wed, 22 Jul 2020 21:33:35 +0100, "J. P. Gilliver (John)"

I think it is then repeated more loudly (or brassily) up to 1:40 but I

Agreed.

Post by Penny
can't pin it down either, the end of it reminds me of "but he never said he
loved me" but it isn't.

Anyone else?

I found myself humming

"You were meant for me
I was meant for you"

Try

about 1:33 in and see what you think.

--
Sam Plusnet

J. P. Gilliver (John)

2020-07-23 18:31:52 UTC

Post by J. P. Gilliver (John)

Post by Penny
On Wed, 22 Jul 2020 21:33:35 +0100, "J. P. Gilliver (John)"

I think it is then repeated more loudly (or brassily) up to 1:40 but I

Agreed.

Post by Penny
can't pin it down either, the end of it reminds me of "but he never said he
loved me" but it isn't.

Anyone else?

I found myself humming
"You were meant for me
I was meant for you"
Try http://youtu.be/PqsrVQfNYPc
about 1:33 in and see what you think.

By George, I think you've got it! (-:

And thanks anyway; a lovely, simple, happy clip.

--
J. P. Gilliver. UMRA: 1960/<1985 MB++G()AL-IS-Ch++(p)***@T+H+Sh0!:`)DNAf

By most scientific estimates sustained, useful fusion is ten years in
the future - and will be ten years in the future for the next fifty
years or more. - "Hamadryad", ~2016-4-4

Mike

2020-07-22 07:40:08 UTC

Post by J. P. Gilliver (John)
On Tue, 21 Jul 2020 at 17:46:43, Jim Easterbrook

Post by Mike
Seemed to have phoned our Doctor’s surgery so many times recently that
their ‘waiting’ muzak has wormed its’ way into my brain Dammit!

At risk to our sanity - what is it?

I can't audialise (?) T&J as you describe. You drove me to
http://www.televisiontunes.com/Tom_and_Jerry_-_Fred_Quimby_Era.html
(ah, I can visualise the lettering still), or generally
http://www.televisiontunes.com/search.php?q=tom+and+jerry
, but none of the ones I tried matched the description.
(WARNING - I think I've mentioned http://www.televisiontunes.com/
before; one can easily spend hours there. [Has radio too, and a few
other things. American-biased, but a lot of British stuff too.])

Post by Jim Easterbrook
My dentist luckily answers the phone almost instantly. Extraction booked
for tomorrow afternoon.

I now have vision of your dentist extracting your 'phone from ...
(Actually, _that_ now reminds me of
http://youtu.be/rgZ6LOUq-HQ ...)

‘Twas ’Muzak’ no eye dear what - might be deliberately written to be so
awful for the purpose. Copyright? Who’d want to copy that sort of ‘art’?

--
Toodle Pip

Mike

2020-07-22 11:55:43 UTC

Post by J. P. Gilliver (John)
On Tue, 21 Jul 2020 at 17:46:43, Jim Easterbrook

Post by Mike
Seemed to have phoned our Doctor’s surgery so many times recently that
their ‘waiting’ muzak has wormed its’ way into my brain Dammit!

At risk to our sanity - what is it?

I can't audialise (?) T&J as you describe. You drove me to
http://www.televisiontunes.com/Tom_and_Jerry_-_Fred_Quimby_Era.html
(ah, I can visualise the lettering still), or generally
http://www.televisiontunes.com/search.php?q=tom+and+jerry
, but none of the ones I tried matched the description.
(WARNING - I think I've mentioned http://www.televisiontunes.com/
before; one can easily spend hours there. [Has radio too, and a few
other things. American-biased, but a lot of British stuff too.])

Post by Jim Easterbrook
My dentist luckily answers the phone almost instantly. Extraction booked
for tomorrow afternoon.

I now have vision of your dentist extracting your 'phone from ...
(Actually, _that_ now reminds me of
http://youtu.be/rgZ6LOUq-HQ ...)

It was just waiting-on-line Muzak, nonedescript and probably copyright but,
who would want to rip off such material - I suppose it provided a synth
player with a small fee...?

--
Toodle Pip

Penny

2020-07-22 09:57:31 UTC

On Tue, 21 Jul 2020 17:41:00 GMT, Mike <***@ntlworld.com> scrawled
in the dust...

Post by Mike
Seemed to have phoned our Doctor’s surgery so many times recently that
their ‘waiting’ muzak has wormed its’ way into my brain Dammit!

Is this the rant thread?
Companies who use hold music should be forced to listen to it, on the
phone, for at least 5 minutes once a week. Then they might notice that it
fades away every couple of minutes, causing their customer to stop what
they are doing and pick up the phone, thinking it has been answered. I can
understand why this might have happened when these things were on magnetic
tape but now it is surely digital, there is no excuse.

OTOH, I have put a wonderful midi rendition of the Pink Panther theme on my
mobile phone. I used to have a nice version on a phone many years ago but
my next phone had no way to add it so I was pleased to get back to it. The
only problem is, on the rare occasions someone calls me, I love the music
so much I am reluctant to answer.

--
Penny
Annoyed by The Archers since 1959

Steve Hague

2020-07-22 12:41:52 UTC

Post by Penny
in the dust...

Post by Mike
Seemed to have phoned our Doctor’s surgery so many times recently that
their ‘waiting’ muzak has wormed its’ way into my brain Dammit!

Is this the rant thread?
Companies who use hold music should be forced to listen to it, on the
phone, for at least 5 minutes once a week. Then they might notice that it
fades away every couple of minutes, causing their customer to stop what
they are doing and pick up the phone, thinking it has been answered. I can
understand why this might have happened when these things were on magnetic
tape but now it is surely digital, there is no excuse.
OTOH, I have put a wonderful midi rendition of the Pink Panther theme on my
mobile phone. I used to have a nice version on a phone many years ago but
my next phone had no way to add it so I was pleased to get back to it. The
only problem is, on the rare occasions someone calls me, I love the music
so much I am reluctant to answer.

So you met the Pink Panther, rinky dink panther, wasn't he a panther
ever so pink? That's the one you mean, isn't it?
Steve

Nick Odell

2020-07-22 16:33:44 UTC

On Wed, 22 Jul 2020 13:41:52 +0100, Steve Hague

Post by Penny
in the dust...

Seemed to have phoned our Doctors surgery so many times recently that
their waiting muzak has wormed its way into my brain Dammit!

Is this the rant thread?
Companies who use hold music should be forced to listen to it, on the
phone, for at least 5 minutes once a week. Then they might notice that it
fades away every couple of minutes, causing their customer to stop what
they are doing and pick up the phone, thinking it has been answered. I can
understand why this might have happened when these things were on magnetic
tape but now it is surely digital, there is no excuse.
OTOH, I have put a wonderful midi rendition of the Pink Panther theme on my
mobile phone. I used to have a nice version on a phone many years ago but
my next phone had no way to add it so I was pleased to get back to it. The
only problem is, on the rare occasions someone calls me, I love the music
so much I am reluctant to answer.

So you met the Pink Panther, rinky dink panther, wasn't he a panther
ever so pink? That's the one you mean, isn't it?

Funny: I was thinking Penny was more of a

Dah-dah-de-dah de-dah de-dah-de-dah-de-dah
de-dah-de-daaaaaaaaaaaa-de-diddly-dah.

kindovagal

Nick
PS Mike: Eternal September does not like the non-conformist apostrophe
you placed in the subject line!

Mike

2020-07-22 15:10:45 UTC

Post by Nick Odell
On Wed, 22 Jul 2020 13:41:52 +0100, Steve Hague

Post by Penny
in the dust...

Seemed to have phoned our Doctors surgery so many times recently that
their waiting muzak has wormed its way into my brain Dammit!

Is this the rant thread?
Companies who use hold music should be forced to listen to it, on the
phone, for at least 5 minutes once a week. Then they might notice that it
fades away every couple of minutes, causing their customer to stop what
they are doing and pick up the phone, thinking it has been answered. I can
understand why this might have happened when these things were on magnetic
tape but now it is surely digital, there is no excuse.
OTOH, I have put a wonderful midi rendition of the Pink Panther theme on my
mobile phone. I used to have a nice version on a phone many years ago but
my next phone had no way to add it so I was pleased to get back to it. The
only problem is, on the rare occasions someone calls me, I love the music
so much I am reluctant to answer.

So you met the Pink Panther, rinky dink panther, wasn't he a panther
ever so pink? That's the one you mean, isn't it?

Funny: I was thinking Penny was more of a
Dah-dah-de-dah de-dah de-dah-de-dah-de-dah
de-dah-de-daaaaaaaaaaaa-de-diddly-dah.
kindovagal
Nick
PS Mike: Eternal September does not like the non-conformist apostrophe
you placed in the subject line!

S O R R Y! In my defence, it is the standard apostrophe offered by Apple
IOS on the iPad pro.

--
Toodle Pip

Penny

2020-07-22 18:03:50 UTC

On Wed, 22 Jul 2020 13:33:44 -0300, Nick Odell

Post by Nick Odell
On Wed, 22 Jul 2020 13:41:52 +0100, Steve Hague

Post by Penny
OTOH, I have put a wonderful midi rendition of the Pink Panther theme on my
mobile phone. I used to have a nice version on a phone many years ago but
my next phone had no way to add it so I was pleased to get back to it. The
only problem is, on the rare occasions someone calls me, I love the music
so much I am reluctant to answer.

So you met the Pink Panther, rinky dink panther, wasn't he a panther
ever so pink? That's the one you mean, isn't it?

Funny: I was thinking Penny was more of a
Dah-dah-de-dah de-dah de-dah-de-dah-de-dah
de-dah-de-daaaaaaaaaaaa-de-diddly-dah.

That's the kitten! I don't know how they got the growl or the slurring (but
it's a long time since I played with anything which would produce midis).

Post by Nick Odell
Nick
PS Mike: Eternal September does not like the non-conformist apostrophe
you placed in the subject line!

Do they protest about them?.

--
Penny
Annoyed by The Archers since 1959

J. P. Gilliver (John)

2020-07-22 17:14:10 UTC

Post by Penny
in the dust...

Post by Mike
Seemed to have phoned our Doctor’s surgery so many times recently that
their ‘waiting’ muzak has wormed its’ way into my brain Dammit!

Is this the rant thread?

Rant threads are a rich seam on UMRA [and usenet - or even the internet

Post by Penny
Companies who use hold music should be forced to listen to it, on the
phone, for at least 5 minutes once a week. Then they might notice that it
fades away every couple of minutes, causing their customer to stop what
they are doing and pick up the phone, thinking it has been answered. I can
understand why this might have happened when these things were on magnetic
tape but now it is surely digital, there is no excuse.

I thoroughly agree.

Also, the _quality_ is often atrocious - even over a 'phone line. (Maybe
particularly over a 'phone line.) I find distorted audio irritating to
listen to at the best of times, and when it's something (a) I'm being
forced to listen to so (b) can't adjust it, it's so much the worse.

And when it's interrupted at just the wrong sort of intervals with "why
not use our [wonderful] website", that's just beyond the pale! OK, maybe
once, for people who _might_ not know, or even - just about - twice for
people who didn't have a pen handy the first time, but _not_ when you're
hanging on: by that time, that's why you're doing so (because the
website doesn't solve whatever you're calling about [or trying to]).

[Oh, and if we're ranting - another thing: around the turn of the
century, so it _isn't_ rocket science, you sometimes got something
telling you your position in the queue. Now, that has become very rare!]

So you met the Pink Panther, rinky dink panther, wasn't he a panther
ever so pink? That's the one you mean, isn't it?
Steve

http://www.televisiontunes.com/p-theme-songs.html (-:

Though I think Penny meant

http://www.televisiontunes.com/Pink_Panther_-_1969.html

(or one of the others there under P). [Honest, I have no connection to
that site! It's just my go-to for theme tunes, and rarely disappoints.]

My first fobile (an Ericsson 1018a - from before they were Sony
Ericsson!), you could - laboriously! - key in your own ringtunes; OK,
monophonic tones. That soon disappeared from fobiles once they
discovered they could _sell_ you ringtones.

Chris J Dixon

2020-07-22 18:10:12 UTC

Post by J. P. Gilliver (John)
My first fobile (an Ericsson 1018a - from before they were Sony
Ericsson!), you could - laboriously! - key in your own ringtunes; OK,
monophonic tones. That soon disappeared from fobiles once they
discovered they could _sell_ you ringtones.

I had a Motorola clamshell, which was far better as a phone than
the latest smart offerings. It could be loaded with music clips
to make your own ringtones.

However, when you allocated a particular tone with a caller, it
was then used for anything incoming from them - it was impossible
to distinguish SMS messages from phone calls, so you had no idea
if you needed to pick up.

I queried this with Motorola, and the upshot was their
declaration:

"Dear Customer
This is just the way the unit was designed.
When you select a Ringer Id for anyone, then whenever they send
you a TXT, Fax, email or call you, then the Ringer ID you have
selected for that person, will go off."

Chris

--
Chris J Dixon Nottingham
'48/33 M B+ G++ A L(-) I S-- CH0(--)(p) Ar- T+ H0 ?Q
***@cdixon.me.uk @ChrisJDixon1
Plant amazing Acers.

Penny

2020-07-22 21:54:43 UTC

On Wed, 22 Jul 2020 18:14:10 +0100, "J. P. Gilliver (John)"

I had a little Casio calculator which played different musical tones for
each key. I spent many happy hours working out the number sequences for
snatches of music. Very limited in range and key of course.

--
Penny
Annoyed by The Archers since 1959

Penny

2020-07-22 17:51:56 UTC

On Wed, 22 Jul 2020 13:41:52 +0100, Steve Hague <***@gmail.com>
scrawled in the dust...

So you met the Pink Panther, rinky dink panther, wasn't he a panther
ever so pink? That's the one you mean, isn't it?

Good grief no!
The cartoon was never as good once dialogue was introduced.
I use the Henry Mancini theme, starting from about bar 4 (the phone allows
me to select the section), it has some wonderful growly notes
<https://tinyurl.com/y45xzyjy> (you'll need to download it to listen).

--
Penny
Annoyed by The Archers since 1959

Joe Kerr

2020-07-22 14:38:12 UTC

Post by Penny
in the dust...

Post by Mike
Seemed to have phoned our Doctor’s surgery so many times recently that
their ‘waiting’ muzak has wormed its’ way into my brain Dammit!

They might also notice when the sound quality makes the music sound like
you are having your head repeatedly dunked in a bucket of porridge or
that the music is totally inappropriate for the company.

--
Ric

Penny

2020-07-22 20:38:52 UTC

On Wed, 22 Jul 2020 15:38:12 +0100, Joe Kerr <***@cheerful.com>
scrawled in the dust...

Post by Joe Kerr
They might also notice when the sound quality makes the music sound like
you are having your head repeatedly dunked in a bucket of porridge or
that the music is totally inappropriate for the company.

I feel a list coming on - inappropriate hold music for specific companies:

Funeral director - Another one bites the dust

--
Penny
Annoyed by The Archers since 1959

Paul Herber

2020-07-22 20:59:52 UTC

Post by Penny
scrawled in the dust...

Funeral director - Another one bites the dust

Inland Revenue - Money, Money, Money (Abba)
Met Office - Four Seasons in One Day (Crowded House)
IPR Lawyer - Your Song
Nevada State Dept - Hotel California
Weightwatchers - Sugar, Sugar (The Archies)

--
Regards, Paul Herber
https://www.paulherber.co.uk/

Min

2020-07-23 00:53:09 UTC

Post by Penny
scrawled in the dust...

Funeral director - Another one bites the dust

Boarding Kennels - Who Let the Dogs Out? (Baha Men)

--
Min

Sid Nuncius

2020-07-23 19:01:26 UTC

Post by Min

Post by Penny
scrawled in the dust...

Funeral director - Another one bites the dust

Boarding Kennels - Who Let the Dogs Out? (Baha Men)

Alcoholics Anonymous - Whiskey In The Jar (Thin Lizzy)
Samaritans - Left Me Hanging (Amy Speace)[1]

[1]A song I would recommend hearing; a gem, IMO:

--
Sid (Make sure Matron is away when you reply)

Sid Nuncius

2020-07-24 06:06:08 UTC

Post by Min

Post by Penny
scrawled in the dust...

Funeral director - Another one bites the dust

Boarding Kennels - Who Let the Dogs Out? (Baha Men)

Alcoholics Anonymous - Whiskey In The Jar (Thin Lizzy)
Samaritans - Left Me Hanging (Amy Speace)

National Grid - Where Were You When The Lights Went Out (Trammps)
RNIB - I Can See For Miles (The Who)
Gamblers Anonymous - You Better You Bet (The Who)
Met. Police Paedophile Unit - Thank Heaven For Little Girls (Maurice
Chevalier)
CRUSE Bereavement Counselling - I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight
(Cutting Crew)

--
Sid (Make sure Matron is away when you reply)

Vicky Ayech

2020-07-24 10:33:48 UTC

On Fri, 24 Jul 2020 07:06:08 +0100, Sid Nuncius

Post by Min

Post by Penny
scrawled in the dust...

Funeral director - Another one bites the dust

Boarding Kennels - Who Let the Dogs Out? (Baha Men)

Alcoholics Anonymous - Whiskey In The Jar (Thin Lizzy)
Samaritans - Left Me Hanging (Amy Speace)

Or the Johnny Cash version of I'm on Fire.

Post by Sid Nuncius
CRUSE Bereavement Counselling - I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight
(Cutting Crew)

Jim Easterbrook

2020-07-22 21:01:38 UTC

Post by Penny
scrawled in the dust...

Funeral director - Another one bites the dust

Alzheimers Research - I remember it well

--
Jim <http://www.jim-easterbrook.me.uk/>
1959/1985? M B+ G+ A L- I- S- P-- CH0(p) Ar++ T+ H0 Q--- Sh0

Sam Plusnet

2020-07-22 21:14:27 UTC

Post by Penny
scrawled in the dust...

Funeral director - Another one bites the dust

Banks: "Let's hang on, to what we've got"

--
Sam Plusnet

Mike

2020-07-23 07:27:21 UTC

Post by Penny
scrawled in the dust...

Funeral director - Another one bites the dust

Cardiac Ward - Anyone who had a heart.

Surgical Ward - The first cut is the deepest.

Eye Department - I can see clearly now.

Skeletal Care - Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones.

Podiatry Dept. - Your feets too big.

--
Toodle Pip

Mike

2020-07-23 08:12:43 UTC

Post by Penny
scrawled in the dust...

Funeral director - Another one bites the dust

Cardiac Ward - Anyone who had a heart.
Surgical Ward - The first cut is the deepest.
Eye Department - I can see clearly now.
Skeletal Care - Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones.
Podiatry Dept. - Your feets too big.

Dermatology Dept. - I’ve got you under my skin.

--
Toodle Pip

Jim Easterbrook

2020-07-23 08:41:42 UTC

Post by Penny
scrawled in the dust...

Post by Joe Kerr
They might also notice when the sound quality makes the music sound
like you are having your head repeatedly dunked in a bucket of
porridge or that the music is totally inappropriate for the company.

Funeral director - Another one bites the dust

Cardiac Ward - Anyone who had a heart.
Surgical Ward - The first cut is the deepest.
Eye Department - I can see clearly now.
Skeletal Care - Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones.
Podiatry Dept. - Your feets too big.

Dermatology Dept. - I’ve got you under my skin.

Wormwood Scrubs Prison - Don't fence me in

--
Jim <http://www.jim-easterbrook.me.uk/>
1959/1985? M B+ G+ A L- I- S- P-- CH0(p) Ar++ T+ H0 Q--- Sh0

Mike

2020-07-23 09:02:35 UTC

Post by Penny
scrawled in the dust...

Funeral director - Another one bites the dust

Cardiac Ward - Anyone who had a heart.
Surgical Ward - The first cut is the deepest.
Eye Department - I can see clearly now.
Skeletal Care - Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones.
Podiatry Dept. - Your feets too big.

Dermatology Dept. - I’ve got you under my skin.

Urology Dept. - Handle’s Water Music.

Milliners - Fifty ways to leave your Glover.

Organ Transplant Registry - Last Christmas, I gave you my heart.... (And
Bach’s Organ Works of course.)

Beekeeper’s Association - Pines of Rome: Apian Way.

Family Planning Association - Wake up little Susie.

Cook’s Tours - We’re all going on a summer holiday.

Thames Water - There I was, digging this hole...

Environmental Health Dept. Noise Control - Silent Night. (Or Rock around
the Clock.)

Dentist - Steve Reich’s ‘Drill’.

Car Insurance Agent - ‘Short Ride in a Fast Machine’.

I realise ‘inappropriate’ is a relative term where any time wasted waiting
on the ‘phone is undesirable.

--
Toodle Pip

Penny

2020-07-23 10:29:55 UTC

On Thu, 23 Jul 2020 09:02:35 GMT, Mike <***@ntlworld.com> scrawled
in the dust...

Post by Penny
scrawled in the dust...

Funeral director - Another one bites the dust

Cardiac Ward - Anyone who had a heart.
Surgical Ward - The first cut is the deepest.
Eye Department - I can see clearly now.
Skeletal Care - Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones.
Podiatry Dept. - Your feets too big.

Dermatology Dept. - I’ve got you under my skin.

Urology Dept. - Handle’s Water Music.
Milliners - Fifty ways to leave your Glover.
Organ Transplant Registry - Last Christmas, I gave you my heart.... (And
Bach’s Organ Works of course.)
Beekeeper’s Association - Pines of Rome: Apian Way.
Family Planning Association - Wake up little Susie.
Cook’s Tours - We’re all going on a summer holiday.
Thames Water - There I was, digging this hole...
Environmental Health Dept. Noise Control - Silent Night. (Or Rock around
the Clock.)
Dentist - Steve Reich’s ‘Drill’.
Car Insurance Agent - ‘Short Ride in a Fast Machine’.
I realise ‘inappropriate’ is a relative term where any time wasted waiting
on the ‘phone is undesirable.

I was going to point out that many of your suggestions seem entirely
appropriate to me...

--
Penny
Annoyed by The Archers since 1959

Joe Kerr

2020-07-23 13:05:54 UTC

Post by Mike
Organ Transplant Registry - Last Christmas, I gave you my heart.... (And
Bach’s Organ Works of course.)

Bachs's Organ Works would be more inappropriate for Family Planning - he
did have 20 children.

Audiology - 4'33"

--
Ric

Mike

2020-07-23 13:45:01 UTC

Post by Mike
Organ Transplant Registry - Last Christmas, I gave you my heart.... (And
Bach’s Organ Works of course.)

Bachs's Organ Works would be more inappropriate for Family Planning - he
did have 20 children.
Audiology - 4'33"

Thalidomide Clinic - You need Hands...

Bereavement Clinic - There’ll never be another you.

Drugs Rehabilitation group: Marijuana Class - Smoke gets in your eyes.

Sexual Health: Low Libido Class - Please please me.

Wedding Cakes supplier - McArthur Park.

Ovine Vets Practice - Baa baa baa, Baa Bar-ber Anne.

--
Toodle Pip

Vicky Ayech

2020-07-23 17:19:00 UTC

Post by Mike
Organ Transplant Registry - Last Christmas, I gave you my heart.... (And
Bachs Organ Works of course.)

Bachs's Organ Works would be more inappropriate for Family Planning - he
did have 20 children.
Audiology - 4'33"

Thalidomide Clinic - You need Hands...

BTN

Post by Mike
Bereavement Clinic - Therell never be another you.
Drugs Rehabilitation group: Marijuana Class - Smoke gets in your eyes.
Sexual Health: Low Libido Class - Please please me.
Wedding Cakes supplier - McArthur Park.
Ovine Vets Practice - Baa baa baa, Baa Bar-ber Anne.

Sid Nuncius

2020-07-24 06:00:53 UTC

Post by Mike
Thalidomide Clinic - You need Hands...

BTN

Yes. Couldn't refuse that, even if it is so tasteless that it may even
be beyond a BTA.

--
Sid (Make sure Matron is away when you reply)

Penny

2020-07-24 09:44:10 UTC

On Fri, 24 Jul 2020 07:00:53 +0100, Sid Nuncius

Post by Mike
Thalidomide Clinic - You need Hands...

BTN

Yes. Couldn't refuse that, even if it is so tasteless that it may even
be beyond a BTA.

But in theory, every item on this list should be worthy of a BTN...

--
Penny
Annoyed by The Archers since 1959

Vicky Ayech

2020-07-24 10:39:03 UTC

Post by Penny
On Fri, 24 Jul 2020 07:00:53 +0100, Sid Nuncius

Post by Mike
Thalidomide Clinic - You need Hands...

BTN

Yes. Couldn't refuse that, even if it is so tasteless that it may even
be beyond a BTA.

But in theory, every item on this list should be worthy of a BTN...

There were a couple of others I could nominate, but they came so thick
and fast. But that was the first struck me as just horrible.

The Police's I'll be watching you always struck me as a stalkers'
song. Would that just be 101? Or Police.co.uk

steveski

2020-07-24 14:09:16 UTC

On Fri, 24 Jul 2020 11:39:03 +0100, Vicky Ayech wrote:

[]

The Police's I'll be watching you always struck me as a stalkers' song.
Would that just be 101? Or Police.co.uk

That's exactly what the song is about.

--
Steveski

Mike

2020-07-24 15:06:07 UTC

The Police's I'll be watching you always struck me as a stalkers' song.
Would that just be 101? Or Police.co.uk

That's exactly what the song is about.

RNID - Do you hear what I hear?

Cancer UK: Castration Unit - Great Balls of Fire.

Steinway Transportation - Right said Fred.

Alcoholics Anonymous - The Drinking Song.

Transplant Unit - My heart belongs to Daddy.

The Vegan Society - Boiled Beef and Carrots.

Action on Smoking and Health - Smoke, smoke, smoke that Cigarette.

Covid-19 Advice Line - We’re all going on a Summer Holiday.

--
Toodle Pip

Mike

2020-07-25 13:58:19 UTC

The Police's I'll be watching you always struck me as a stalkers' song.
Would that just be 101? Or Police.co.uk

That's exactly what the song is about.

RNID - Do you hear what I hear?
Cancer UK: Castration Unit - Great Balls of Fire.
Steinway Transportation - Right said Fred.
Alcoholics Anonymous - The Drinking Song.
Transplant Unit - My heart belongs to Daddy.
The Vegan Society - Boiled Beef and Carrots.
Action on Smoking and Health - Smoke, smoke, smoke that Cigarette.
Covid-19 Advice Line - We’re all going on a Summer Holiday.

Bunion Clinic - These Boots are made for Walking.

IVF Clinic - Twenty tiny fingers, twenty tiny toes.

Dignitas - Live and let Die.

Humane Society - How much is that Doggy in the Window?

--
Toodle Pip

Mike

2020-07-25 16:20:41 UTC

The Police's I'll be watching you always struck me as a stalkers' song.
Would that just be 101? Or Police.co.uk

That's exactly what the song is about.

RNID - Do you hear what I hear?
Cancer UK: Castration Unit - Great Balls of Fire.
Steinway Transportation - Right said Fred.
Alcoholics Anonymous - The Drinking Song.
Transplant Unit - My heart belongs to Daddy.
The Vegan Society - Boiled Beef and Carrots.
Action on Smoking and Health - Smoke, smoke, smoke that Cigarette.
Covid-19 Advice Line - We’re all going on a Summer Holiday.

Bunion Clinic - These Boots are made for Walking.
IVF Clinic - Twenty tiny fingers, twenty tiny toes.
Dignitas - Live and let Die.
Humane Society - How much is that Doggy in the Window?

Nudist.UK - The Bare Necessities

Bomb Disposal Unit - Flash, Bang Wallop.

Brighthouse - I owe my Soul to the Company Store.

Insolvency Co. UK - Money, money money.

Donald Trump’s Office - If I ruled the World.

Flat Earth Society - Music from ‘Around the world in Eighty Days’.

--
Toodle Pip

Joe Kerr

2020-07-25 17:45:33 UTC

The Police's I'll be watching you always struck me as a stalkers' song.
Would that just be 101? Or Police.co.uk

That's exactly what the song is about.

RNID - Do you hear what I hear?
Cancer UK: Castration Unit - Great Balls of Fire.
Steinway Transportation - Right said Fred.
Alcoholics Anonymous - The Drinking Song.
Transplant Unit - My heart belongs to Daddy.
The Vegan Society - Boiled Beef and Carrots.
Action on Smoking and Health - Smoke, smoke, smoke that Cigarette.
Covid-19 Advice Line - We’re all going on a Summer Holiday.

Bunion Clinic - These Boots are made for Walking.
IVF Clinic - Twenty tiny fingers, twenty tiny toes.
Dignitas - Live and let Die.
Humane Society - How much is that Doggy in the Window?

Nudist.UK - The Bare Necessities
Bomb Disposal Unit - Flash, Bang Wallop.
Brighthouse - I owe my Soul to the Company Store.
Insolvency Co. UK - Money, money money.
Donald Trump’s Office - If I ruled the World.
Flat Earth Society - Music from ‘Around the world in Eighty Days’.

Battersea Dogs Home - My Girl's Pussy (Harry Roy and His Orchestra)

--
Ric

Nick Odell

2020-07-25 23:09:16 UTC

The Police's I'll be watching you always struck me as a stalkers' song.
Would that just be 101? Or Police.co.uk

That's exactly what the song is about.

RNID - Do you hear what I hear?
Cancer UK: Castration Unit - Great Balls of Fire.
Steinway Transportation - Right said Fred.
Alcoholics Anonymous - The Drinking Song.
Transplant Unit - My heart belongs to Daddy.
The Vegan Society - Boiled Beef and Carrots.
Action on Smoking and Health - Smoke, smoke, smoke that Cigarette.
Covid-19 Advice Line - Were all going on a Summer Holiday.

Bunion Clinic - These Boots are made for Walking.
IVF Clinic - Twenty tiny fingers, twenty tiny toes.
Dignitas - Live and let Die.
Humane Society - How much is that Doggy in the Window?

Nudist.UK - The Bare Necessities
Bomb Disposal Unit - Flash, Bang Wallop.
Brighthouse - I owe my Soul to the Company Store.
Insolvency Co. UK - Money, money money.
Donald Trumps Office - If I ruled the World.
Flat Earth Society - Music from Around the world in Eighty Days.

Battersea Dogs Home - My Girl's Pussy (Harry Roy and His Orchestra)

.......Mary Elizabeth Jennifer Rachel Abergavenny "Betty" Slocombe
(née Yiddell) on vocals?

Nick

Joe Kerr

2020-07-27 17:09:48 UTC

The Police's I'll be watching you always struck me as a stalkers' song.
Would that just be 101? Or Police.co.uk

That's exactly what the song is about.

RNID - Do you hear what I hear?
Cancer UK: Castration Unit - Great Balls of Fire.
Steinway Transportation - Right said Fred.
Alcoholics Anonymous - The Drinking Song.
Transplant Unit - My heart belongs to Daddy.
The Vegan Society - Boiled Beef and Carrots.
Action on Smoking and Health - Smoke, smoke, smoke that Cigarette.
Covid-19 Advice Line - We’re all going on a Summer Holiday.

Bunion Clinic - These Boots are made for Walking.
IVF Clinic - Twenty tiny fingers, twenty tiny toes.
Dignitas - Live and let Die.
Humane Society - How much is that Doggy in the Window?

Nudist.UK - The Bare Necessities
Bomb Disposal Unit - Flash, Bang Wallop.
Brighthouse - I owe my Soul to the Company Store.
Insolvency Co. UK - Money, money money.
Donald Trump’s Office - If I ruled the World.
Flat Earth Society - Music from ‘Around the world in Eighty Days’.

Battersea Dogs Home - My Girl's Pussy (Harry Roy and His Orchestra)

........Mary Elizabeth Jennifer Rachel Abergavenny "Betty" Slocombe
(née Yiddell) on vocals?

Only if she had a cat only girl.

Nick

--
Ric

Mike

2020-07-26 07:26:27 UTC

The Police's I'll be watching you always struck me as a stalkers' song.
Would that just be 101? Or Police.co.uk

That's exactly what the song is about.

RNID - Do you hear what I hear?
Cancer UK: Castration Unit - Great Balls of Fire.
Steinway Transportation - Right said Fred.
Alcoholics Anonymous - The Drinking Song.
Transplant Unit - My heart belongs to Daddy.
The Vegan Society - Boiled Beef and Carrots.
Action on Smoking and Health - Smoke, smoke, smoke that Cigarette.
Covid-19 Advice Line - We’re all going on a Summer Holiday.

Bunion Clinic - These Boots are made for Walking.
IVF Clinic - Twenty tiny fingers, twenty tiny toes.
Dignitas - Live and let Die.
Humane Society - How much is that Doggy in the Window?

Nudist.UK - The Bare Necessities
Bomb Disposal Unit - Flash, Bang Wallop.
Brighthouse - I owe my Soul to the Company Store.
Insolvency Co. UK - Money, money money.
Donald Trump’s Office - If I ruled the World.
Flat Earth Society - Music from ‘Around the world in Eighty Days’.

Battersea Dogs Home - My Girl's Pussy (Harry Roy and His Orchestra)

That sounds more like a Trumpism.

--
Toodle Pip

Joe Kerr

2020-07-27 17:08:56 UTC

The Police's I'll be watching you always struck me as a stalkers' song.
Would that just be 101? Or Police.co.uk

That's exactly what the song is about.

RNID - Do you hear what I hear?
Cancer UK: Castration Unit - Great Balls of Fire.
Steinway Transportation - Right said Fred.
Alcoholics Anonymous - The Drinking Song.
Transplant Unit - My heart belongs to Daddy.
The Vegan Society - Boiled Beef and Carrots.
Action on Smoking and Health - Smoke, smoke, smoke that Cigarette.
Covid-19 Advice Line - We’re all going on a Summer Holiday.

Bunion Clinic - These Boots are made for Walking.
IVF Clinic - Twenty tiny fingers, twenty tiny toes.
Dignitas - Live and let Die.
Humane Society - How much is that Doggy in the Window?

Nudist.UK - The Bare Necessities
Bomb Disposal Unit - Flash, Bang Wallop.
Brighthouse - I owe my Soul to the Company Store.
Insolvency Co. UK - Money, money money.
Donald Trump’s Office - If I ruled the World.
Flat Earth Society - Music from ‘Around the world in Eighty Days’.

Battersea Dogs Home - My Girl's Pussy (Harry Roy and His Orchestra)

That sounds more like a Trumpism.

Its song about a cat from 1931 (The song. The cat would predate it).

--
Ric

Sam Plusnet

2020-07-27 20:25:53 UTC

Post by Joe Kerr
Its song about a cat from 1931 (The song. The cat would predate it).

That's cats for you.
Even when well fed, they're always pouncing on birds.

--
Sam Plusnet

John Ashby

2020-07-27 20:27:41 UTC

Post by Joe Kerr
Its song about a cat from 1931 (The song. The cat would predate it).

That's cats for you.
Even when well fed, they're always pouncing on birds.

A bit like some presidents we could mention.

john

Mike

2020-07-28 07:30:45 UTC

Post by Joe Kerr
Its song about a cat from 1931 (The song. The cat would predate it).

That's cats for you.
Even when well fed, they're always pouncing on birds.

They are older than ors?

--
Toodle Pip

Sam Plusnet

2020-07-28 18:49:21 UTC

Post by Joe Kerr
Its song about a cat from 1931 (The song. The cat would predate it).

That's cats for you.
Even when well fed, they're always pouncing on birds.

They are older than ors?

Even old cats are predatory.

--
Sam Plusnet

Steve Hague

2020-07-29 10:26:36 UTC

Post by Joe Kerr
Its song about a cat from 1931 (The song. The cat would predate it).

That's cats for you.
Even when well fed, they're always pouncing on birds.

They are older than ors?

Even old cats are predatory.

Not ours. He had a bad experience with a pair of magpies when he was
much younger.
Steve

Mike

2020-07-29 11:06:24 UTC

Post by Joe Kerr
Its song about a cat from 1931 (The song. The cat would predate it).

That's cats for you.
Even when well fed, they're always pouncing on birds.

They are older than ors?

Even old cats are predatory.

Not ours. He had a bad experience with a pair of magpies when he was
much younger.
Steve

Magpies tend to be right bully boys towards cats - probably well-deserved
in many cases...
I have known a semi-wild large cat who cowered (coward?) when magpies came
near him.

--
Toodle Pip

Steve Hague

2020-07-29 11:24:47 UTC

Post by Joe Kerr
Its song about a cat from 1931 (The song. The cat would predate it).

That's cats for you.
Even when well fed, they're always pouncing on birds.

They are older than ors?

Even old cats are predatory.

Not ours. He had a bad experience with a pair of magpies when he was
much younger.
Steve

Magpies tend to be right bully boys towards cats - probably well-deserved
in many cases...
I have known a semi-wild large cat who cowered (coward?) when magpies came
near him.

Our cat is a very large and muscular Burmese. If he hears the Magpie
rattle, he stays in all day.
Steve

BrritSki

2020-07-27 09:10:09 UTC

On 25/07/2020 19:45, Joe Kerr wrote:
Eurotunnel sales line = I am a mole and I live in a hole.

Which was very pertinent yesterday as I was drivingback across France
alone and trying to change my booking. On hold to the UK number for 25
mins before it cut out because it's a paid number and I ran out of credit :(

Then on hold to the French number for 35 minutes including 2 stops at
Aires to try and do it online. The 1st stop there was no phone signal -
don't let anyone tell you "they do it so much better over there".

The second stop was better (but still not 4G) and I managed to get
through their system and make the change and pay. But wait, "payment
refused". On my normal card that I#d used to pay for the original ticket
only a few weeks ago. SMS from effing [1] Barclaycard "was this you" "Y"
"Your card will be available again in 5 minutes. So I tried to setup my
other CC and then got in a complete loop on the Euro tunnel site and had
to start from the beginning.

I also only managed to cancel my B&B hotel booking in the nick of time
[2] having searched for a number to call for about 20 minutes. At least
they answered quickly and found my booking without the reference and did
what I wanted immediately.

So I made the train I'd booked (just, despite the best efforts of the
chap who dropped his suitcase off his roof and spread his clotes all
over the autoroute near Reims. Left Milan at 5.30 AM and arrived home at
8.30 PM.

[1] was what I said at the time although I understand that it's a good
thing overall, but did they really need to fraud check my regular
Speccie subscription and Eurotunnel who I've paid loads of times over
the years ?

[2] 2 minutes to 2, 2 o'clock was the deadline. After that I woul dhave
been charged.

J. P. Gilliver (John)

2020-07-27 15:50:27 UTC

On Mon, 27 Jul 2020 at 11:10:09, BrritSki <***@gmail.com>
wrote:
[]

ticket only a few weeks ago. SMS from effing [1] Barclaycard "was this
you" "Y" "Your card will be available again in 5 minutes. So I tried to

[]

[1] was what I said at the time although I understand that it's a good
thing overall, but did they really need to fraud check my regular
Speccie subscription and Eurotunnel who I've paid loads of times over
the years ?

[]
It may have improved of late, but I think the claims that they monitor
your spending for unusual activity (type, amount, or location) are
somewhat exaggerated. I've certainly had fraudulent activity
(refunded/deleted no problem, I grant) that I'd have thought would have
triggered an alarm (the first one that comes to mind being a fuel
purchase, somewhere I wasn't, of significantly more than my then car
would hold). I've also done purchases myself that I'd have thought would
(such as purchases in Kent one day and Tyneside the next).

--
J. P. Gilliver. UMRA: 1960/<1985 MB++G()AL-IS-Ch++(p)***@T+H+Sh0!:`)DNAf

Apologies to [those] who may have been harmed by the scientific inaccuracies
in this post. - Roger Tilbury in UMRA, 2018-3-14

Sam Plusnet

2020-07-27 20:42:07 UTC

On 27-Jul-20 10:10, BrritSki wrote:
much snipped

Left Milan at 5.30 AM and arrived home at 8.30 PM.

<speechless> On a journey like that you couldn't have really spent any
time observing things en route...

like speed limits.

Google suggests around 1,350 km & 14 hr 37 minutes by the quickest route.

--
Sam Plusnet

Penny

2020-07-28 08:46:43 UTC

On Mon, 27 Jul 2020 21:42:07 +0100, Sam Plusnet <***@home.com> scrawled in
the dust...

Post by Sam Plusnet
much snipped

Left Milan at 5.30 AM and arrived home at 8.30 PM.

<speechless> On a journey like that you couldn't have really spent any
time observing things en route...
like speed limits.
Google suggests around 1,350 km & 14 hr 37 minutes by the quickest route.

Um, assuming local time is used for both end points the journey took 16
hours.

--
Penny
Annoyed by The Archers since 1959

BrritSki

2020-07-28 10:35:41 UTC

Post by Sam Plusnet
much snipped

Left Milan at 5.30 AM and arrived home at 8.30 PM.

<speechless> On a journey like that you couldn't have really spent any
time observing things en route...
like speed limits.
Google suggests around 1,350 km & 14 hr 37 minutes by the quickest route.

Au contraire. I set my cruise control to 135kph which I admit is 5 over
the limit on motorways. My TomTom shows my speed and the local limit
which I always observe within about 5% so the speed flashes amber but
not red. Admittedly I don't go the scenic route, but there's plenty of
beautiful scenery to observe, esp. around Mt. Blanc.

TomTom also gives 9h30m for the drive from Milan (airport, not city) to
Calais Eurotunnel which was about right. 691 km. 3 stops of about 10
mins for coffee, pee and rinse my hands and face. A longer stop of about
45 mins for a snooze and then a couple more stops to handle the
reservation changes and I arrived at the Eurotunnel terminal at around
1800.

The Italian autostrada were empty that early and there was no Q for the
MB tunnel. French autoroutes were busier but moving at the limit apart
from a couple of minutes delay for the bloke who dropped his suitcase :/

Went straight into Q for a train and departed late at 1850. Arrived UK
1825. M25 busy but also flowing at over 70. A1 almost empty, so 2 hours
was not a problem for 134m (we live on the A1 side of Bedford). TomTom
currently also showing 2.05h for that trip.

No idea why Google thinks it's 1350km. 691k + 134m = 906 km. I'd have
done it quicker if waife hadn't been kicking me to stop me snoring all
night so I was tired and needed a longer snooze than normal. Also the
rebookings cost me at least half an hour. OTOH I normally stop for a
proper meal. If waife had been with me though we wouldn't have got home
until yesterday and I would not have listened to The Chalk Pit (SPILORE:
is the baby gonna be black ?).

Nick Odell

2020-07-28 22:40:19 UTC

On Tue, 28 Jul 2020 12:35:41 +0200, BrritSki

Post by Sam Plusnet
much snipped

Left Milan at 5.30 AM and arrived home at 8.30 PM.

<speechless> On a journey like that you couldn't have really spent any
time observing things en route...
like speed limits.
Google suggests around 1,350 km & 14 hr 37 minutes by the quickest route.

Au contraire. I set my cruise control to 135kph which I admit is 5 over
the limit on motorways. My TomTom shows my speed and the local limit
which I always observe within about 5% so the speed flashes amber but
not red. Admittedly I don't go the scenic route, but there's plenty of
beautiful scenery to observe, esp. around Mt. Blanc.
TomTom also gives 9h30m for the drive from Milan (airport, not city) to
Calais Eurotunnel which was about right. 691 km. 3 stops of about 10
mins for coffee, pee and rinse my hands and face. A longer stop of about
45 mins for a snooze and then a couple more stops to handle the
reservation changes and I arrived at the Eurotunnel terminal at around
1800.
The Italian autostrada were empty that early and there was no Q for the
MB tunnel. French autoroutes were busier but moving at the limit apart
from a couple of minutes delay for the bloke who dropped his suitcase :/
Went straight into Q for a train and departed late at 1850. Arrived UK
1825. M25 busy but also flowing at over 70. A1 almost empty, so 2 hours
was not a problem for 134m (we live on the A1 side of Bedford). TomTom
currently also showing 2.05h for that trip.
No idea why Google thinks it's 1350km. 691k + 134m = 906 km. I'd have
done it quicker if waife hadn't been kicking me to stop me snoring all
night so I was tired and needed a longer snooze than normal. Also the
rebookings cost me at least half an hour. OTOH I normally stop for a
proper meal. If waife had been with me though we wouldn't have got home
is the baby gonna be black ?).

I sort-of assumed that The Chalk Pit might have been something from
BBC Radio but an absence of the title after a quick scramble through
the listings suggested that it might be an audiobook?

Back in Dear Old Blighty with Radio 4 and Radio 4x and a host of other
things to listen to I doubt whether anyrat actually needs anything
else to fill their ears but if you are hankering after a particular
radio drama, reading or serialisation or like me, in exile and having
now listened to pretty much everything I brought here on mp3 then the
answer might just be..

...YouTube!

There is a huge amount of radio material on YouTube if you just go and
look for it. Try BBC Radio Drama or Plays or Book at Bedtime or
anything else vaguely related as a search term and be overwhelmed by
choice. Listen to it on-line or use your favourite YouTube download
tool to put the audio onto your mp3.

Nick

krw

2020-07-28 19:46:11 UTC

Post by Nick Odell
On Tue, 28 Jul 2020 12:35:41 +0200, BrritSki

Post by Sam Plusnet
much snipped

Left Milan at 5.30 AM and arrived home at 8.30 PM.

<speechless> On a journey like that you couldn't have really spent any
time observing things en route...
like speed limits.
Google suggests around 1,350 km & 14 hr 37 minutes by the quickest route.

Au contraire. I set my cruise control to 135kph which I admit is 5 over
the limit on motorways. My TomTom shows my speed and the local limit
which I always observe within about 5% so the speed flashes amber but
not red. Admittedly I don't go the scenic route, but there's plenty of
beautiful scenery to observe, esp. around Mt. Blanc.
TomTom also gives 9h30m for the drive from Milan (airport, not city) to
Calais Eurotunnel which was about right. 691 km. 3 stops of about 10
mins for coffee, pee and rinse my hands and face. A longer stop of about
45 mins for a snooze and then a couple more stops to handle the
reservation changes and I arrived at the Eurotunnel terminal at around
1800.
The Italian autostrada were empty that early and there was no Q for the
MB tunnel. French autoroutes were busier but moving at the limit apart
from a couple of minutes delay for the bloke who dropped his suitcase :/
Went straight into Q for a train and departed late at 1850. Arrived UK
1825. M25 busy but also flowing at over 70. A1 almost empty, so 2 hours
was not a problem for 134m (we live on the A1 side of Bedford). TomTom
currently also showing 2.05h for that trip.
No idea why Google thinks it's 1350km. 691k + 134m = 906 km. I'd have
done it quicker if waife hadn't been kicking me to stop me snoring all
night so I was tired and needed a longer snooze than normal. Also the
rebookings cost me at least half an hour. OTOH I normally stop for a
proper meal. If waife had been with me though we wouldn't have got home
is the baby gonna be black ?).

I sort-of assumed that The Chalk Pit might have been something from
BBC Radio but an absence of the title after a quick scramble through
the listings suggested that it might be an audiobook?
Back in Dear Old Blighty with Radio 4 and Radio 4x and a host of other
things to listen to I doubt whether anyrat actually needs anything
else to fill their ears but if you are hankering after a particular
radio drama, reading or serialisation or like me, in exile and having
now listened to pretty much everything I brought here on mp3 then the
answer might just be..
....YouTube!
There is a huge amount of radio material on YouTube if you just go and
look for it. Try BBC Radio Drama or Plays or Book at Bedtime or
anything else vaguely related as a search term and be overwhelmed by
choice. Listen to it on-line or use your favourite YouTube download
tool to put the audio onto your mp3.
Nick

Allegedly there are historic The Archers on that there interwebby thing.

--
Kosmo Richard W
www.travelswmw.whitnet.uk
https://tinyurl.com/KRWpics

BrritSki

2020-07-28 20:06:10 UTC

Post by Nick Odell

Post by BrritSki
is the baby gonna be black ?).

I sort-of assumed that The Chalk Pit might have been something from
BBC Radio but an absence of the title after a quick scramble through
the listings suggested that it might be an audiobook?

Yes, number 9 or 10 in the Ruth Galloway series by Elly Griffiths (who
was on an Archers FB group under her real name.

As I was given a £3 eBook voucher by Google I bought the next in the
series there for the princely sum of £1.99 after discount. I suspect I
won't enjoy the written book as much as the audio as they do tend to
meander a bit - perfect for non-challenging listening while driving and
not getting lost in complicated plots. But I do want to know what
happens to the characters in the next installment, esp. the baby's
complexion and I can't wait until my next long drive at Christmas :)

BrritSki

2020-07-28 20:16:38 UTC

Post by Nick Odell

Post by BrritSki
is the baby gonna be black ?).

I sort-of assumed that The Chalk Pit might have been something from
BBC Radio but an absence of the title after a quick scramble through
the listings suggested that it might be an audiobook?

Yes, number 9 or 10 in the Ruth Galloway series by Elly Griffiths (who
was on an Archers FB group under her real name.
As I was given a £3 eBook voucher by Google I bought the next in the
series there for the princely sum of £1.99 after discount. I suspect I
won't enjoy the written book as much as the audio as they do tend to
meander a bit - perfect for non-challenging listening while driving and
not getting lost in complicated plots. But I do want to know what
happens to the characters in the next installment, esp. the baby's
complexion and I can't wait until my next long drive at Christmas :)

Eeek, spooky ! As I was typing NetGalley granted my request for an ARC
of the last in the series. Will I be able to resist reading The Stone
Circle knowing the last one is waiting ? Or will I wait until I get it
on Audible ? Watch this space.....

Nick Odell

2020-07-29 22:52:43 UTC

On Tue, 28 Jul 2020 22:16:38 +0200, BrritSki

Post by Nick Odell

Post by BrritSki
is the baby gonna be black ?).

I sort-of assumed that The Chalk Pit might have been something from
BBC Radio but an absence of the title after a quick scramble through
the listings suggested that it might be an audiobook?

Yes, number 9 or 10 in the Ruth Galloway series by Elly Griffiths (who
was on an Archers FB group under her real name.
As I was given a £3 eBook voucher by Google I bought the next in the
series there for the princely sum of £1.99 after discount. I suspect I
won't enjoy the written book as much as the audio as they do tend to
meander a bit - perfect for non-challenging listening while driving and
not getting lost in complicated plots. But I do want to know what
happens to the characters in the next installment, esp. the baby's
complexion and I can't wait until my next long drive at Christmas :)

Ta for that.

As for murder mysteries, I see that Radio 4 is performing books 6-10
of the Martin Beck Murders on Saturday afternoons. I thought the first
five were excellent and I am only sorry that I can not easily record
these ones for later from this location. I can still listen to them
from BBC Sounds and hope to fill up the inevitable gaps from R4x
if/when they get a repeat.

Nick

Mike

2020-07-24 07:19:26 UTC

Post by Mike
Organ Transplant Registry - Last Christmas, I gave you my heart.... (And
Bachs Organ Works of course.)

Bachs's Organ Works would be more inappropriate for Family Planning - he
did have 20 children.
Audiology - 4'33"

Thalidomide Clinic - You need Hands...

BTN

Flood Re Insurance Office - It might as well rain until September.

Tanning Studio - A Whiter Shade of Pale.

--
Toodle Pip

Penny

2020-07-23 14:51:22 UTC

On Thu, 23 Jul 2020 14:05:54 +0100, Joe Kerr <***@cheerful.com>
scrawled in the dust...

Post by Mike
Organ Transplant Registry - Last Christmas, I gave you my heart.... (And
Bach’s Organ Works of course.)

Bachs's Organ Works would be more inappropriate for Family Planning - he
did have 20 children.
Audiology -

I think 4'33" would be inappropriate for them all, the hanger-on does need
to know they are still connected.

--
Penny
Annoyed by The Archers since 1959

Mike

2020-07-23 15:00:42 UTC

Post by Penny
scrawled in the dust...

Post by Mike
Organ Transplant Registry - Last Christmas, I gave you my heart.... (And
Bach’s Organ Works of course.)

Bachs's Organ Works would be more inappropriate for Family Planning - he
did have 20 children.
Audiology -

I think 4'33" would be inappropriate for them all, the hanger-on does need
to know they are still connected.

Interweaved with ‘Silence is Golden’.

--
Toodle Pip

Joe Kerr

2020-07-23 13:30:34 UTC

Post by Penny
scrawled in the dust...

Funeral director - Another one bites the dust

I was actually thinking more of music that is unsuitable for any
company. I think I was on hold to a utility company recently with
somebody who was just shouting at me. Not the least bit calming,
reassuring or welcoming. Maybe I wasn't on hold. I've also had such
soothing and relaxing music that by the time I got to speak to anybody I
was virtually asleep and had not only forgotten why I called but also
who I was (am?, might have been?).

--
Ric

Penny

2020-07-23 14:57:36 UTC

On Thu, 23 Jul 2020 14:30:34 +0100, Joe Kerr <***@cheerful.com>
scrawled in the dust...

Post by Joe Kerr
I was actually thinking more of music that is unsuitable for any
company. I think I was on hold to a utility company recently with
somebody who was just shouting at me. Not the least bit calming,
reassuring or welcoming. Maybe I wasn't on hold. I've also had such
soothing and relaxing music that by the time I got to speak to anybody I
was virtually asleep and had not only forgotten why I called but also
who I was (am?, might have been?).

Ah, yes, that's happened to me too.
Since then I prepare better, jotting down who I'm calling and why, any
references they may need - account number, secret question etc - desired
outcome.
I can still start by asking if everyone who calls is really cross when they
finally get to speak to someone, and list reasons why this might be the
case, with regard to the menu(s) one has to go through and the
quality/content of the hold music.

--
Penny
Annoyed by The Archers since 1959

J. P. Gilliver (John)

2020-07-23 18:53:38 UTC

(Grr. Eternal-September's intolerance of "’" in subject line is
getting old fast.)

Post by Penny
scrawled in the dust...

Agreed - I don't like that sort of music either.

Post by Joe Kerr
Maybe I wasn't on hold.

GOL!

Post by Joe Kerr
I've also had such
soothing and relaxing music that by the time I got to speak to anybody I
was virtually asleep and had not only forgotten why I called but also
who I was (am?, might have been?).

It hasn't happened to me for a while, but occasionally, I _like_ the
piece of music, and want to ask what it was - but of course the person
who eventually answers is fairly unlikely to know!

Post by Penny
Ah, yes, that's happened to me too.
Since then I prepare better, jotting down who I'm calling and why, any
references they may need - account number, secret question etc - desired
outcome.
I can still start by asking if everyone who calls is really cross when they
finally get to speak to someone, and list reasons why this might be the
case, with regard to the menu(s) one has to go through and the
quality/content of the hold music.

A particular case of inappropriate menus: when you dial 105 (a number
worth writing in luminous ink somewhere prominent, if you don't remember
it) to report that your power has gone off (the joys of rural living;
between 0 and 2 times a year for me, I think), you get a menu. But the
'phone that I - and, I'm sure, a not-negligible proportion of people -
use when the power is off, isn't a touch-tone 'phone. (OK, in my case
it's also my default 'phone - I like using it, and I think the sound is
better. But normally, if I'm calling a company, I'll at least have a
touch-tone one to hand.) On 105, you get the menu, a pause, the menu
again, then it _does_ put you on to a person. (I must say that IMO
they're _very_ good - almost too good; they ring back with progress
reports, and then again after a while to see what you thought.)

--
J. P. Gilliver. UMRA: 1960/<1985 MB++G()AL-IS-Ch++(p)***@T+H+Sh0!:`)DNAf

Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows.

Joe Kerr

2020-07-23 19:50:37 UTC

(Grr. Eternal-September's intolerance of "’" in subject line is getting
old fast.)

Post by Penny
scrawled in the dust...

Agreed - I don't like that sort of music either.

Post by Joe Kerr
Maybe I wasn't on hold.

GOL!

It hasn't happened to me for a while, but occasionally, I _like_ the
piece of music, and want to ask what it was - but of course the person
who eventually answers is fairly unlikely to know!

I have, in the past, emailed a company to ask what the music on their
website was (and got a correct response). You could try that for hold
music but they may be less likely to know (or willing to find out) and
there could be more than a single track/album in use.

About 30 years ago some (IT related) company had a company song written
and used it as their hold music. Apparently people kept phoning up and
asking to be put on hold to hear how bad/humorous/whatever it was.

--
Ric

J. P. Gilliver (John)

2020-07-23 20:26:23 UTC

On Thu, 23 Jul 2020 at 20:50:37, Joe Kerr <***@cheerful.com> wrote:
[]

Post by Joe Kerr
About 30 years ago some (IT related) company had a company song written
and used it as their hold music. Apparently people kept phoning up and
asking to be put on hold to hear how bad/humorous/whatever it was.

When I was at the Marconi Research Centre, an archivist found the sheet
music to the General Electric Company March, written to be (I think)
performed at the AGM in 1912 or 1920 or similar. It had parts for
electric bells! I have a MIDI of it; it's a bit repetitive, but
indomitably cheerful. (Anyone who wants just ask - it's only 27 KB.)

--
J. P. Gilliver. UMRA: 1960/<1985 MB++G()AL-IS-Ch++(p)***@T+H+Sh0!:`)DNAf

Well, let's put it this way. I may not be as good as Olivier but on the other
hand I'm taller than him. - Roger Moore, quoted by Barry Norman

Penny

2020-07-24 10:09:11 UTC

On Thu, 23 Jul 2020 19:53:38 +0100, "J. P. Gilliver (John)"

Post by J. P. Gilliver (John)
A particular case of inappropriate menus: when you dial 105 (a number
worth writing in luminous ink somewhere prominent, if you don't remember
it) to report that your power has gone off (the joys of rural living;
between 0 and 2 times a year for me, I think), you get a menu.

I have an 11 digit (0800) number to call in such situations, it's on a bit
of post-it tape on the only (landline) phone in the house which works when
the power is off. I don't recall if there are menus on that number, it does
have a recorded announcement about known issues which can save time.
[...]

Post by J. P. Gilliver (John)
On 105, you get the menu, a pause, the menu
again, then it _does_ put you on to a person. (I must say that IMO
they're _very_ good - almost too good; they ring back with progress
reports, and then again after a while to see what you thought.)

Same here, as you say, almost too good. They now have my mobile number on
file so I get text updates, and a call back sometimes hours after the
outage has been resolved.

--
Penny
Annoyed by The Archers since 1959

Mike

2020-07-24 12:58:56 UTC

Post by Penny
On Thu, 23 Jul 2020 19:53:38 +0100, "J. P. Gilliver (John)"

Same here, as you say, almost too good. They now have my mobile number on
file so I get text updates, and a call back sometimes hours after the
outage has been resolved.

Marriage Guidance Council - Fifty ways to leave your Lover

HMRC - I got plenty of Nothing.

Undertaker: Pallbearer’s Unit - He’s not heavy, he’s my Brother.

British Library Reading Room - It makes me wanna shout.

--
Toodle Pip

J. P. Gilliver (John)

2020-07-24 19:43:56 UTC

Post by Penny
On Thu, 23 Jul 2020 19:53:38 +0100, "J. P. Gilliver (John)"

The card I have says "Call us free on 105 or 0800 31 63 105", so I
suspect they go to the same place. (105 is of course easier to
remember.)

Same here, as you say, almost too good. They now have my mobile number on
file so I get text updates, and a call back sometimes hours after the
outage has been resolved.

Marriage Guidance Council - Fifty ways to leave your Lover
HMRC - I got plenty of Nothing.
Undertaker: Pallbearer’s Unit - He’s not heavy, he’s my Brother.
British Library Reading Room - It makes me wanna shout.

I'm reminded of the Hoffnung "notes for tourists" ...
3

--
J. P. Gilliver. UMRA: 1960/<1985 MB++G()AL-IS-Ch++(p)***@T+H+Sh0!:`)DNAf

I don't have an agree that our language torture is a quality add
- soldiersailor on Gransnet, 2018-3-8

Anne B

2020-07-24 21:10:17 UTC

Post by J. P. Gilliver (John)

Post by Mike
British Library Reading Room - It makes me wanna shout.

I'm reminded of the Hoffnung "notes for tourists" ...
+1.

Anne B

Chris J Dixon

2020-07-22 18:07:57 UTC

Post by Penny
OTOH, I have put a wonderful midi rendition of the Pink Panther theme on my
mobile phone.
The
only problem is, on the rare occasions someone calls me, I love the music
so much I am reluctant to answer.

Except for selected callers, my ringtone is the very laid
back sound of the theme from Local Hero. This has the
remarkable effect of making answering it seem non-urgent. It
really is amazing how relaxed I feel when it rings.

Chris

--
Chris J Dixon Nottingham
'48/33 M B+ G++ A L(-) I S-- CH0(--)(p) Ar- T+ H0 ?Q
***@cdixon.me.uk @ChrisJDixon1
Plant amazing Acers.

Nick Odell

2020-07-23 18:34:23 UTC