The Deal

[Hieronymous Corey]

Okay, so here's the deal. My first generation iPad has been well used.
It has chips, scratches, cracks, runs slow, and is finally on its last leg,
and Walmart's cyber Monday sale was just too good for Angel to pass
up, so she bought me a new one. We're going to pick it up at the store.

Angel has been on me to get a new iPad for some time now. I bought
her a new one for her birthday, and she loves it. I just have a very hard
time pulling the trigger for myself. It's just a plaything. All I do is write,
and pay bills on it. I don't Face Time, or use all the other apps it has.

Angel says her new iPad has been a godsend, and thinks I'll love my
new one as much as she loves hers once I've had a chance to use it.
That's where you come in. I love writing, but have no way of knowing
if a new iPad will make me write any better. Your input is appreciated.

TIA

[Edward Rochester Esq.]

Post by Hieronymous Corey
Okay, so here's the deal. My first generation iPad has been well used.
It has chips, scratches, cracks, runs slow, and is finally on its last leg,
and Walmart's cyber Monday sale was just too good for Angel to pass
up, so she bought me a new one. We're going to pick it up at the store.
Angel has been on me to get a new iPad for some time now. I bought
her a new one for her birthday, and she loves it. I just have a very hard
time pulling the trigger for myself. It's just a plaything. All I do is write,
and pay bills on it. I don't Face Time, or use all the other apps it has.
Angel says her new iPad has been a godsend, and thinks I'll love my
new one as much as she loves hers once I've had a chance to use it.
That's where you come in. I love writing, but have no way of knowing
if a new iPad will make me write any better. Your input is appreciated.
TIA

You're way too needy for attention.

[Hieronymous Corey]

Okay, so that's an interesting observation from my perspective,
considering I'm just sitting quietly in my room, typing on this old
iPad, listening to the news in the background, while Angel sits
at the kitchen table, reading Walmart sale ads on her new iPad.

The only attention I see myself needing right now is yours, if you
see yourself continuing this conversation. Otherwise, Angel and I
will be going to Walmart to get my new IPad in a few minutes, and
all I'm asking is whether or not you notice a difference in my writing.

[Edward Rochester Esq.]

Post by Hieronymous Corey
Okay, so that's an interesting observation from my perspective,
considering I'm just sitting quietly in my room, typing on this old
iPad, listening to the news in the background, while Angel sits
at the kitchen table, reading Walmart sale ads on her new iPad.
The only attention I see myself needing right now is yours, if you
see yourself continuing this conversation. Otherwise, Angel and I
will be going to Walmart to get my new IPad in a few minutes, and
all I'm asking is whether or not you notice a difference in my writing.

That's my point.....just go with your Angel and get a fucking Ipad....your daily messages of life are boring....your injuries are boring your job description is boring...you follow posts with nonsense...you desperately need attention...an ex marine, store bought pastor, runner, pro tennis players and every other fucking thing about your life is boring...and now you want advice on whether or not a new Ipad will help your writing....off you go, I'm sure you'll let the group know how you made out, fuck-wit.

[Hieronymous Corey]

You make me laugh out loud. That's my point.
I love that you get all riled up about my boring
posts. I love that you read my boring posts at
all. I don't need your attention, but I do love it,
and love you for it. You're a big part of why I
still bother to read this group after all this time.

[Hieronymous Corey]

Here's the problem. You can call me a fuckwit, or whatever
frustrates you, but you can't make me dislike you. I owe you
too much for reading me for so long. You know me too well.

[Edward Rochester Esq.]

Post by Hieronymous Corey
Here's the problem. You can call me a fuckwit, or whatever
frustrates you, but you can't make me dislike you. I owe you
too much for reading me for so long. You know me too well.

That's my point, we all know you too well..your body habits, your job, your wife, your pool, your son, your volunteerism, your sniper attributes, your talking to Jesus and he talks to you...on and on...you do leave out a few details which might be embarrassing for you, but all in all, you seem to need friends beyond the invisible...kind.

Throw on your Blackwater cap and get to the Ipod store, pronto.

[Hieronymous Corey]

Details, details.

[Hieronymous Corey]

Post by Hieronymous Corey
Details, details.

Well, this is it, my new iPad, all charged up and ready to go.
It makes an audible drip, drip, dripping sound every time I tap
a key, which reminds me I have to go pee. I imagine there has
got to be some way I can turn that off. It’s really very annoying.

Okay, I’m back. Much better. I’m so relieved. I found the button
that turned off that annoying dripping sound, so that won’t be
bothering me again. I also set the ambient light so I can see the
screen better while I’m typing. Of course, I had to go pee first.

[Dental River]

Post by Hieronymous Corey

Post by Hieronymous Corey
Details, details.

Well, this is it, my new iPad, all charged up and ready to go.
It makes an audible drip, drip, dripping sound every time I tap
a key, which reminds me I have to go pee. I imagine there has
got to be some way I can turn that off. It’s really very annoying.
Okay, I’m back. Much better. I’m so relieved. I found the button
that turned off that annoying dripping sound, so that won’t be
bothering me again.

The relief of Pinocchio, when he stomped to death the Cricket on the hearth.

I also set the ambient light so I can see the

Post by Hieronymous Corey
screen better while I’m typing. Of course, I had to go pee first.

And his comforts marched in.

[Hieronymous Corey]

Imagine someone you love needing your help, and all they hear is *crickets*.