Discussion:
Stoned (words music me)
(too old to reply)
matthewerwwin
2016-01-13 09:53:26 UTC
Permalink
Meet me on the road
We'll hike into the mountains
And find a place of seclusion.
Out there all alone
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.

(chorus)
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned

When we get back home
We'll get in front of the alter
and remove all or our clothing.
Right there in front of God
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.

(chorus)
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely now!!

(solo/chorus)

It's turning me on
Being near you
Ready to go
All the way.

It's turning me on
Feeling your love
Coursing through
All of my veins.

It's turning me on.

(outro)


Words, music, production, mixing, matthew ewervvin
https://soundcloud.com/matthew-ervvin/stoned
Will Dockery
2016-01-13 12:24:32 UTC
Permalink
Post by matthewerwwin
Meet me on the road
We'll hike into the mountains
And find a place of seclusion.
Out there all alone
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
When we get back home
We'll get in front of the alter
and remove all or our clothing.
Right there in front of God
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely now!!
(solo/chorus)
It's turning me on
Being near you
Ready to go
All the way.
It's turning me on
Feeling your love
Coursing through
All of my veins.
It's turning me on.
(outro)
Words, music, production, mixing, matthew ewervvin
https://soundcloud.com/matthew-ervvin/stoned
Good ring of guitar... a little Stones and a whole lot of the crunge.

Liking it quite a lot.

:D
matthewerwwin
2016-01-13 12:30:50 UTC
Permalink
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
Meet me on the road
We'll hike into the mountains
And find a place of seclusion.
Out there all alone
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
When we get back home
We'll get in front of the alter
and remove all or our clothing.
Right there in front of God
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely now!!
(solo/chorus)
It's turning me on
Being near you
Ready to go
All the way.
It's turning me on
Feeling your love
Coursing through
All of my veins.
It's turning me on.
(outro)
Words, music, production, mixing, matthew ewervvin
https://soundcloud.com/matthew-ervvin/stoned
Good ring of guitar... a little Stones and a whole lot of the crunge.
Liking it quite a lot.
:D
thanks
Will Dockery
2016-01-13 12:34:50 UTC
Permalink
Post by matthewerwwin
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
Meet me on the road
We'll hike into the mountains
And find a place of seclusion.
Out there all alone
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
When we get back home
We'll get in front of the alter
and remove all or our clothing.
Right there in front of God
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely now!!
(solo/chorus)
It's turning me on
Being near you
Ready to go
All the way.
It's turning me on
Feeling your love
Coursing through
All of my veins.
It's turning me on.
(outro)
Words, music, production, mixing, matthew ewervvin
https://soundcloud.com/matthew-ervvin/stoned
Good ring of guitar... a little Stones and a whole lot of the crunge.
Liking it quite a lot.
:D
thanks
On a more constructive critical note, I'd like to hear the vocals a bit better, defined, I think may be the word... they are down in the mix too far for my taste, but I know that may have been what effect you were moving for.
matthewerwwin
2016-01-14 06:04:26 UTC
Permalink
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
Meet me on the road
We'll hike into the mountains
And find a place of seclusion.
Out there all alone
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
When we get back home
We'll get in front of the alter
and remove all or our clothing.
Right there in front of God
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely now!!
(solo/chorus)
It's turning me on
Being near you
Ready to go
All the way.
It's turning me on
Feeling your love
Coursing through
All of my veins.
It's turning me on.
(outro)
Words, music, production, mixing, matthew ewervvin
https://soundcloud.com/matthew-ervvin/stoned
Good ring of guitar... a little Stones and a whole lot of the crunge.
Liking it quite a lot.
:D
thanks
On a more constructive critical note, I'd like to hear the vocals a bit better, defined, I think may be the word... they are down in the mix too far for my taste, but I know that may have been what effect you were moving for.
ok, thanks for the heads up.
Will Dockery
2016-01-14 14:43:04 UTC
Permalink
Post by matthewerwwin
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
Meet me on the road
We'll hike into the mountains
And find a place of seclusion.
Out there all alone
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
When we get back home
We'll get in front of the alter
and remove all or our clothing.
Right there in front of God
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely now!!
(solo/chorus)
It's turning me on
Being near you
Ready to go
All the way.
It's turning me on
Feeling your love
Coursing through
All of my veins.
It's turning me on.
(outro)
Words, music, production, mixing, matthew ewervvin
https://soundcloud.com/matthew-ervvin/stoned
Good ring of guitar... a little Stones and a whole lot of the crunge.
Liking it quite a lot.
:D
thanks
On a more constructive critical note, I'd like to hear the vocals a bit better, defined, I think may be the word... they are down in the mix too far for my taste, but I know that may have been what effect you were moving for.
ok, thanks for the heads up.
I'll need to listen again, of course, because the time and mood, state of being of the listener, makes important differences in how art is viewed, read, or heard.

:D
Will Dockery
2019-07-12 17:37:04 UTC
Permalink
Post by matthewerwwin
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
Meet me on the road
We'll hike into the mountains
And find a place of seclusion.
Out there all alone
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
When we get back home
We'll get in front of the alter
and remove all or our clothing.
Right there in front of God
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely now!!
(solo/chorus)
It's turning me on
Being near you
Ready to go
All the way.
It's turning me on
Feeling your love
Coursing through
All of my veins.
It's turning me on.
(outro)
Words, music, production, mixing, matthew ewervvin
https://soundcloud.com/matthew-ervvin/stoned
Good ring of guitar... a little Stones and a whole lot of the crunge.
Liking it quite a lot.
:D
thanks
https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.arts.poetry.comments/19KD4g3u9GM/xR2-bGi7BwAJ
Post by matthewerwwin
I just had a listen
"just" as in "simply had a listen".
Post by matthewerwwin
and told Matt what I think of the song.
"told" as in "Posted in response" to Matt's post of the lyrics and song:

https://alt.arts.poetry.comments.narkive.com/JcUpAZVh/stoned-words-music-me

Which did get at least two responses from Matt, in the thread:

===============================================

matthewerwwin 3 years ago wrote:
...
thanks

===============================================

And

===============================================

matthewerwwin 3 years ago wrote:
...
ok, thanks for the heads up.

=============================================

Here, at the original postings:

https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.arts.poetry.comments/19KD4g3u9GM/xR2-bGi7BwAJ
NancyGene
2019-07-12 20:38:46 UTC
Permalink
Post by Will Dockery
https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.arts.poetry.comments/19KD4g3u9GM/xR2-bGi7BwAJ
Post by matthewerwwin
I just had a listen
"just" as in "simply had a listen".
"Just" means "very recently." "Simply" doesn't work here to explain your usage. You should have written "I listened to it" or similar.
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
and told Matt what I think of the song.
What you don't understand is "told" is past tense and "think" is present tense. You would have had to have written "thought" to be correct.
Post by Will Dockery
I just had a listen and told Matt what I think of the song.
Should be: "I listened and told Matt what I thought of the song."

Will, you still don't get it, because you do not know correct grammar and word usage. Comic books are not your friends.
ME
2019-07-12 21:13:34 UTC
Permalink
Post by NancyGene
Post by Will Dockery
https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.arts.poetry.comments/19KD4g3u9GM/xR2-bGi7BwAJ
Post by matthewerwwin
I just had a listen
"just" as in "simply had a listen".
"Just" means "very recently." "Simply" doesn't work here to explain your usage. You should have written "I listened to it" or similar.
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
and told Matt what I think of the song.
What you don't understand is "told" is past tense and "think" is present tense. You would have had to have written "thought" to be correct.
Post by Will Dockery
I just had a listen and told Matt what I think of the song.
Should be: "I listened and told Matt what I thought of the song."
Will, you still don't get it, because you do not know correct grammar and word usage. Comic books are not your friends.
NG, I also ‘thought’ that myself.
But trying to give a lesson in basic grammar to an ignorant, narcissistic, little cunt troll like pissbum is useless and a pointless waste of time.
NancyGene
2019-07-12 21:16:20 UTC
Permalink
Post by ME
Post by NancyGene
Post by Will Dockery
https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.arts.poetry.comments/19KD4g3u9GM/xR2-bGi7BwAJ
Post by matthewerwwin
I just had a listen
"just" as in "simply had a listen".
"Just" means "very recently." "Simply" doesn't work here to explain your usage. You should have written "I listened to it" or similar.
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
and told Matt what I think of the song.
What you don't understand is "told" is past tense and "think" is present tense. You would have had to have written "thought" to be correct.
Post by Will Dockery
I just had a listen and told Matt what I think of the song.
Should be: "I listened and told Matt what I thought of the song."
Will, you still don't get it, because you do not know correct grammar and word usage. Comic books are not your friends.
NG, I also ‘thought’ that myself.
But trying to give a lesson in basic grammar to an ignorant, narcissistic, little cunt troll like pissbum is useless and a pointless waste of time.
Yes, the "point" he made is that he is incapable of admitting that he is wrong and is not teachable. No wonder he ended up with no skills and a bum life.
Will Dockery
2019-07-13 00:52:30 UTC
Permalink
Post by Will Dockery
https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.arts.poetry.comments/19KD4g3u9GM/xR2-bGi7BwAJ
Post by matthewerwwin
I just had a listen
"just" as in "simply had a listen".
"Just" means "Simply"
Yes, check it out:

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/just

3a : ONLY, SIMPLY
just last year
just be yourself
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
and told Matt what I think of the song.
"told" is past tense and "think" is present tense
I used think because I thought it then and still think so now.
Post by Will Dockery
I just had a listen and told Matt what I think of the song.
:)
Rex Hester Jr.
2019-07-13 01:52:38 UTC
Permalink
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Will Dockery
https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.arts.poetry.comments/19KD4g3u9GM/xR2-bGi7BwAJ
Post by matthewerwwin
I just had a listen
"just" as in "simply had a listen".
"Just" means "Simply"
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/just
3a : ONLY, SIMPLY
just last year
just be yourself
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
and told Matt what I think of the song.
"told" is past tense and "think" is present tense
I used think because I thought it then and still think so now.
Post by Will Dockery
I just had a listen and told Matt what I think of the song.
:)
You nailed it Doc.....
NancyGene
2019-07-13 20:30:23 UTC
Permalink
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Will Dockery
https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.arts.poetry.comments/19KD4g3u9GM/xR2-bGi7BwAJ
Post by matthewerwwin
I just had a listen
"just" as in "simply had a listen".
"Just" means "Simply"
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/just
3a : ONLY, SIMPLY
just last year
just be yourself
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
and told Matt what I think of the song.
"told" is past tense and "think" is present tense
I used think because I thought it then and still think so now.
Post by Will Dockery
I just had a listen and told Matt what I think of the song.
No, you are still wrong.
Will Dockery
2019-07-13 20:49:02 UTC
Permalink
https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.arts.poetry.comments/19KD4g3u9GM/xR2-bGi7BwAJ
Post by NancyGene
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
I just had a listen
"just" as in "simply had a listen".
"Just" means "Simply"
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/just
3a : ONLY, SIMPLY
just last year
just be yourself
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
and told Matt what I think of the song.
"told" is past tense and "think" is present tense
I used think because I thought it then and still think so now.
Post by Will Dockery
I just had a listen and told Matt what I think of the song.
No, you are still wrong.
No, I'm not.

;)
Rex Hester Jr.
2019-07-12 21:17:31 UTC
Permalink
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
Meet me on the road
We'll hike into the mountains
And find a place of seclusion.
Out there all alone
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
When we get back home
We'll get in front of the alter
and remove all or our clothing.
Right there in front of God
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely now!!
(solo/chorus)
It's turning me on
Being near you
Ready to go
All the way.
It's turning me on
Feeling your love
Coursing through
All of my veins.
It's turning me on.
(outro)
Words, music, production, mixing, matthew ewervvin
https://soundcloud.com/matthew-ervvin/stoned
Good ring of guitar... a little Stones and a whole lot of the crunge.
Liking it quite a lot.
:D
thanks
https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.arts.poetry.comments/19KD4g3u9GM/xR2-bGi7BwAJ
Post by matthewerwwin
I just had a listen
"just" as in "simply had a listen".
Post by matthewerwwin
and told Matt what I think of the song.
https://alt.arts.poetry.comments.narkive.com/JcUpAZVh/stoned-words-music-me
===============================================
...
thanks
===============================================
And
===============================================
...
ok, thanks for the heads up.
=============================================
https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.arts.poetry.comments/19KD4g3u9GM/xR2-bGi7BwAJ
They just trolls being trolls since anyone can see exactly what you was saying Doc....
NancyGene
2019-07-12 21:22:17 UTC
Permalink
Post by Rex Hester Jr.
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
Meet me on the road
We'll hike into the mountains
And find a place of seclusion.
Out there all alone
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
When we get back home
We'll get in front of the alter
and remove all or our clothing.
Right there in front of God
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely now!!
(solo/chorus)
It's turning me on
Being near you
Ready to go
All the way.
It's turning me on
Feeling your love
Coursing through
All of my veins.
It's turning me on.
(outro)
Words, music, production, mixing, matthew ewervvin
https://soundcloud.com/matthew-ervvin/stoned
Good ring of guitar... a little Stones and a whole lot of the crunge.
Liking it quite a lot.
:D
thanks
https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.arts.poetry.comments/19KD4g3u9GM/xR2-bGi7BwAJ
Post by matthewerwwin
I just had a listen
"just" as in "simply had a listen".
Post by matthewerwwin
and told Matt what I think of the song.
https://alt.arts.poetry.comments.narkive.com/JcUpAZVh/stoned-words-music-me
===============================================
...
thanks
===============================================
And
===============================================
...
ok, thanks for the heads up.
=============================================
https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.arts.poetry.comments/19KD4g3u9GM/xR2-bGi7BwAJ
They just trolls being trolls since anyone can see exactly what you was saying Doc....
Zid, is that your best effort to write a correct sentence? The next time you are in a book store looking for a bathroom to use, ask for "English Grammar for Dummies."
Rex Hester Jr.
2019-07-12 21:23:43 UTC
Permalink
Post by Rex Hester Jr.
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
Meet me on the road
We'll hike into the mountains
And find a place of seclusion.
Out there all alone
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
When we get back home
We'll get in front of the alter
and remove all or our clothing.
Right there in front of God
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely now!!
(solo/chorus)
It's turning me on
Being near you
Ready to go
All the way.
It's turning me on
Feeling your love
Coursing through
All of my veins.
It's turning me on.
(outro)
Words, music, production, mixing, matthew ewervvin
https://soundcloud.com/matthew-ervvin/stoned
Good ring of guitar... a little Stones and a whole lot of the crunge.
Liking it quite a lot.
:D
thanks
https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.arts.poetry.comments/19KD4g3u9GM/xR2-bGi7BwAJ
Post by matthewerwwin
I just had a listen
"just" as in "simply had a listen".
Post by matthewerwwin
and told Matt what I think of the song.
https://alt.arts.poetry.comments.narkive.com/JcUpAZVh/stoned-words-music-me
===============================================
...
thanks
===============================================
And
===============================================
...
ok, thanks for the heads up.
=============================================
https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.arts.poetry.comments/19KD4g3u9GM/xR2-bGi7BwAJ
They just trolls being trolls since anyone can see exactly what you was saying Doc....
Zid
You spelled my name wrong yet want to whine about others....?? ?
Rod Riprock Jr.
2019-07-21 05:00:24 UTC
Permalink
Post by matthewerwwin
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
Meet me on the road
We'll hike into the mountains
And find a place of seclusion.
Out there all alone
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
When we get back home
We'll get in front of the alter
and remove all or our clothing.
Right there in front of God
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely now!!
(solo/chorus)
It's turning me on
Being near you
Ready to go
All the way.
It's turning me on
Feeling your love
Coursing through
All of my veins.
It's turning me on.
(outro)
Words, music, production, mixing, matthew ewervvin
https://soundcloud.com/matthew-ervvin/stoned
Good ring of guitar... a little Stones and a whole lot of the crunge.
Liking it quite a lot.
:D
thanks
En

Rex Hester Jr.
2019-07-12 03:44:31 UTC
Permalink
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by matthewerwwin
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by matthewerwwin
Meet me on the road
We'll hike into the mountains
And find a place of seclusion.
Out there all alone
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
When we get back home
We'll get in front of the alter
and remove all or our clothing.
Right there in front of God
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely now!!
(solo/chorus)
It's turning me on
Being near you
Ready to go
All the way.
It's turning me on
Feeling your love
Coursing through
All of my veins.
It's turning me on.
(outro)
Words, music, production, mixing, matthew ewervvin
https://soundcloud.com/matthew-ervvin/stoned
I've never been much of a rock fan, so I can't really critique this. IMO the success of a song of this type lies in the catchiness of the half-chanted chorus ("We're not gonna take it ...," "I love rock 'n' roll ...," etc.). "I wanna get you stoned," has the right anthemic quality for a concert, but falls flat due to the unchanging repetitions. For example, the two above-cited choruses change within their repetitions: "We're not gonna take it/No! We ain't gonna take it/We're not gonna take it/Anymore" changes both the lyric and the rhythm.
I wanna get you stoned
tear off your clothes and get you stoned
get down and nasty, get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
Also "altar" is misspelled in the second verse.
thanks for reading and critiquing.
what music do you enjoy?
Frankie Laine, Johnnie Ray, Kay Starr, Kitty Kallen, Georgia Gibbs, Pat Boone, Doris Day, Nat Cole, Connie Francis, Tony Bennett, Frank Sinatra -- a few rockers: Elvis Presley, Bobby Darin, Dion.
OK...because this is 90's style grunge type music, and the repetitive lyric, or chorus is the actual style. FYI. Thanks again for reading and commenting.
Which could be surprisingly poetic, very often.
Nirvana led the pack, with Stone Temple Pilots and Pearl Jam also supplied some very substantial lyrics.
I'd add the lesser known but maybe greatest of all, Pavement.
Did anyone catch my play on words when I typed, rather than "grunge" I wrot Crunge?
That was a Led Zeppelin reference.
"Where's that confounded bridge?"
:D
That was a damned cool song indeed.....

And this is the thread where Doc listened to and reviewed the song....
Rex Hester Jr.
2019-07-13 08:31:14 UTC
Permalink
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Will Dockery
https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.arts.poetry.comments/19KD4g3u9GM/xR2-bGi7BwAJ
Post by matthewerwwin
I just had a listen
"just" as in "simply had a listen".
"Just" means "Simply"
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/just
3a : ONLY, SIMPLY
just last year
just be yourself
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
and told Matt what I think of the song.
"told" is past tense and "think" is present tense
I used think because I thought it then and still think so now.
Post by Will Dockery
I just had a listen and told Matt what I think of the song.
:)
You nailed it Doc..
Rex Hester Jr.
2019-07-13 21:25:35 UTC
Permalink
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Will Dockery
https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.arts.poetry.comments/19KD4g3u9GM/xR2-bGi7BwAJ
Post by matthewerwwin
I just had a listen
"just" as in "simply had a listen".
"Just" means "Simply"
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/just
3a : ONLY, SIMPLY
just last year
just be yourself
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
and told Matt what I think of the song.
"told" is past tense and "think" is present tense
I used think because I thought it then and still think so now.
Post by Will Dockery
I just had a listen and told Matt what I think of the song.
:)
You nailed it Doc..
Rex Hunter III
2019-07-16 23:37:34 UTC
Permalink
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Will Dockery
https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.arts.poetry.comments/19KD4g3u9GM/xR2-bGi7BwAJ
Post by matthewerwwin
I just had a listen
"just" as in "simply had a listen".
"Just" means "Simply"
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/just
3a : ONLY, SIMPLY
just last year
just be yourself
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
and told Matt what I think of the song.
"told" is past tense and "think" is present tense
I used think because I thought it then and still think so now.
Post by Will Dockery
I just had a listen and told Matt what I think of the song.
:)
You nailed it Doc..
Rex Hunter III
2019-07-17 23:40:30 UTC
Permalink
Post by matthewerwwin
Meet me on the road
We'll hike into the mountains
And find a place of seclusion.
Out there all alone
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
When we get back home
We'll get in front of the alter
and remove all or our clothing.
Right there in front of God
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely now!!
(solo/chorus)
It's turning me on
Being near you
Ready to go
All the way.
It's turning me on
Feeling your love
Coursing through
All of my veins.
It's turning me on.
(outro)
Words, music, production, mixing, matthew ewervvin
https://soundcloud.com/matthew-ervvin/stoned
Nice work by the way..........
Michael Pendragon
2016-01-13 17:37:58 UTC
Permalink
Post by matthewerwwin
Meet me on the road
We'll hike into the mountains
And find a place of seclusion.
Out there all alone
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
When we get back home
We'll get in front of the alter
and remove all or our clothing.
Right there in front of God
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely now!!
(solo/chorus)
It's turning me on
Being near you
Ready to go
All the way.
It's turning me on
Feeling your love
Coursing through
All of my veins.
It's turning me on.
(outro)
Words, music, production, mixing, matthew ewervvin
https://soundcloud.com/matthew-ervvin/stoned
I've never been much of a rock fan, so I can't really critique this. IMO the success of a song of this type lies in the catchiness of the half-chanted chorus ("We're not gonna take it ...," "I love rock 'n' roll ...," etc.). "I wanna get you stoned," has the right anthemic quality for a concert, but falls flat due to the unchanging repetitions. For example, the two above-cited choruses change within their repetitions: "We're not gonna take it/No! We ain't gonna take it/We're not gonna take it/Anymore" changes both the lyric and the rhythm.

I suggest working on the chorus - keeping the anthemic character of the chant, but allowing for some repetition within the lines (a poor example follows):

I wanna get you stoned
tear off your clothes and get you stoned
get down and nasty, get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned

Also "altar" is misspelled in the second verse.
Bill Evans
2016-01-13 20:20:00 UTC
Permalink
Post by Michael Pendragon
Also "altar" is misspelled in the second verse.
So, he could "altar" it, or alter it, and the correction
would be the same?
--
Bill Evans / Box 1224 / Mariposa, CA 95338 / (209)742-4720
Mail-To: ***@acm.org -- PGP encrypted mail preferred. --
pgpkey.mariposabill.com for public key. Key #: 8D8B521B
PGPprint: 0A9C 3545 8FFF 7501 6265 1519 40FF 76F9 8D8B 521B
Will Dockery
2016-01-13 21:28:09 UTC
Permalink
Post by Bill Evans
Post by Michael Pendragon
Also "altar" is misspelled in the second verse.
So, he could "altar" it, or alter it, and the correction
would be the same?
Yes, it could easily be turned into a play on homophones. I do this to varying degrees of success myself, such as Wait and Weight in my Twilight Girl poem/song:

"This is the wait, the weight of the world... it comes down sweet and heavy..."

Check out free download of the day: "Twilight Girl" written by Will Dockery (words) & Henry Conley (music)
https://www.reverbnation.com/willdockery/song/24647258-twilight-girl--will-dockery-henry?0

:D
matthewerwwin
2016-01-14 06:02:55 UTC
Permalink
Post by Bill Evans
Post by Michael Pendragon
Also "altar" is misspelled in the second verse.
So, he could "altar" it, or alter it, and the correction
would be the same?
--
Bill Evans / Box 1224 / Mariposa, CA 95338 / (209)742-4720
pgpkey.mariposabill.com for public key. Key #: 8D8B521B
PGPprint: 0A9C 3545 8FFF 7501 6265 1519 40FF 76F9 8D8B 521B
t
Peter J Ross
2016-01-16 21:45:59 UTC
Permalink
In alt.arts.poetry.comments on Wed, 13 Jan 2016 22:02:55 -0800 (PST),
t
Congratulations on typing a single letter without making a mistake!
You're evidently less illiterate than the other members of your gang.

OTOH, Dreckery too is sometimes capable of typing a single letter
without making a mistake. In his case, the single letter is "I".
--
PJR :-)

τὸν οἰόμενον νόον ἔχειν ὁ νουθετέων ματαιοπονεῖ.
- Democritus
matthewerwwin
2016-01-14 06:02:27 UTC
Permalink
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by matthewerwwin
Meet me on the road
We'll hike into the mountains
And find a place of seclusion.
Out there all alone
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
When we get back home
We'll get in front of the alter
and remove all or our clothing.
Right there in front of God
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely now!!
(solo/chorus)
It's turning me on
Being near you
Ready to go
All the way.
It's turning me on
Feeling your love
Coursing through
All of my veins.
It's turning me on.
(outro)
Words, music, production, mixing, matthew ewervvin
https://soundcloud.com/matthew-ervvin/stoned
I've never been much of a rock fan, so I can't really critique this. IMO the success of a song of this type lies in the catchiness of the half-chanted chorus ("We're not gonna take it ...," "I love rock 'n' roll ...," etc.). "I wanna get you stoned," has the right anthemic quality for a concert, but falls flat due to the unchanging repetitions. For example, the two above-cited choruses change within their repetitions: "We're not gonna take it/No! We ain't gonna take it/We're not gonna take it/Anymore" changes both the lyric and the rhythm.
I wanna get you stoned
tear off your clothes and get you stoned
get down and nasty, get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
Also "altar" is misspelled in the second verse.
thanks for reading and critiquing.

what music do you enjoy?
Michael Pendragon
2016-01-14 17:22:19 UTC
Permalink
Post by matthewerwwin
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by matthewerwwin
Meet me on the road
We'll hike into the mountains
And find a place of seclusion.
Out there all alone
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
When we get back home
We'll get in front of the alter
and remove all or our clothing.
Right there in front of God
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely now!!
(solo/chorus)
It's turning me on
Being near you
Ready to go
All the way.
It's turning me on
Feeling your love
Coursing through
All of my veins.
It's turning me on.
(outro)
Words, music, production, mixing, matthew ewervvin
https://soundcloud.com/matthew-ervvin/stoned
I've never been much of a rock fan, so I can't really critique this. IMO the success of a song of this type lies in the catchiness of the half-chanted chorus ("We're not gonna take it ...," "I love rock 'n' roll ...," etc.). "I wanna get you stoned," has the right anthemic quality for a concert, but falls flat due to the unchanging repetitions. For example, the two above-cited choruses change within their repetitions: "We're not gonna take it/No! We ain't gonna take it/We're not gonna take it/Anymore" changes both the lyric and the rhythm.
I wanna get you stoned
tear off your clothes and get you stoned
get down and nasty, get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
Also "altar" is misspelled in the second verse.
thanks for reading and critiquing.
what music do you enjoy?
Pop from the early 50s, standards, that sort of thing:

Frankie Laine, Johnnie Ray, Kay Starr, Kitty Kallen, Georgia Gibbs, Pat Boone, Doris Day, Nat Cole, Connie Francis, Tony Bennett, Frank Sinatra -- a few rockers: Elvis Presley, Bobby Darin, Dion.
Will Dockery
2016-01-14 19:16:28 UTC
Permalink
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by matthewerwwin
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by matthewerwwin
Meet me on the road
We'll hike into the mountains
And find a place of seclusion.
Out there all alone
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
When we get back home
We'll get in front of the alter
and remove all or our clothing.
Right there in front of God
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely now!!
(solo/chorus)
It's turning me on
Being near you
Ready to go
All the way.
It's turning me on
Feeling your love
Coursing through
All of my veins.
It's turning me on.
(outro)
Words, music, production, mixing, matthew ewervvin
https://soundcloud.com/matthew-ervvin/stoned
I've never been much of a rock fan, so I can't really critique this. IMO the success of a song of this type lies in the catchiness of the half-chanted chorus ("We're not gonna take it ...," "I love rock 'n' roll ...," etc.). "I wanna get you stoned," has the right anthemic quality for a concert, but falls flat due to the unchanging repetitions. For example, the two above-cited choruses change within their repetitions: "We're not gonna take it/No! We ain't gonna take it/We're not gonna take it/Anymore" changes both the lyric and the rhythm.
I wanna get you stoned
tear off your clothes and get you stoned
get down and nasty, get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
Also "altar" is misspelled in the second verse.
thanks for reading and critiquing.
what music do you enjoy?
Frankie Laine, Johnnie Ray, Kay Starr, Kitty Kallen, Georgia Gibbs, Pat Boone, Doris Day, Nat Cole, Connie Francis, Tony Bennett, Frank Sinatra -- a few rockers: Elvis Presley, Bobby Darin, Dion.
Ah, good... Rachel was asking about what music you liked, Pendragon, and I told her that you did like some rock-n-roll, just not the usual suspects.

:D
matthewerwwin
2016-01-17 06:02:22 UTC
Permalink
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by matthewerwwin
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by matthewerwwin
Meet me on the road
We'll hike into the mountains
And find a place of seclusion.
Out there all alone
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
When we get back home
We'll get in front of the alter
and remove all or our clothing.
Right there in front of God
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely now!!
(solo/chorus)
It's turning me on
Being near you
Ready to go
All the way.
It's turning me on
Feeling your love
Coursing through
All of my veins.
It's turning me on.
(outro)
Words, music, production, mixing, matthew ewervvin
https://soundcloud.com/matthew-ervvin/stoned
I've never been much of a rock fan, so I can't really critique this. IMO the success of a song of this type lies in the catchiness of the half-chanted chorus ("We're not gonna take it ...," "I love rock 'n' roll ...," etc.). "I wanna get you stoned," has the right anthemic quality for a concert, but falls flat due to the unchanging repetitions. For example, the two above-cited choruses change within their repetitions: "We're not gonna take it/No! We ain't gonna take it/We're not gonna take it/Anymore" changes both the lyric and the rhythm.
I wanna get you stoned
tear off your clothes and get you stoned
get down and nasty, get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
Also "altar" is misspelled in the second verse.
thanks for reading and critiquing.
what music do you enjoy?
Frankie Laine, Johnnie Ray, Kay Starr, Kitty Kallen, Georgia Gibbs, Pat Boone, Doris Day, Nat Cole, Connie Francis, Tony Bennett, Frank Sinatra -- a few rockers: Elvis Presley, Bobby Darin, Dion.
OK...because this is 90's style grunge type music, and the repetitive lyric, or chorus is the actual style. FYI. Thanks again for reading and commenting.
Michael Pendragon
2016-01-17 06:18:11 UTC
Permalink
Post by matthewerwwin
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by matthewerwwin
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by matthewerwwin
Meet me on the road
We'll hike into the mountains
And find a place of seclusion.
Out there all alone
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
When we get back home
We'll get in front of the alter
and remove all or our clothing.
Right there in front of God
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely now!!
(solo/chorus)
It's turning me on
Being near you
Ready to go
All the way.
It's turning me on
Feeling your love
Coursing through
All of my veins.
It's turning me on.
(outro)
Words, music, production, mixing, matthew ewervvin
https://soundcloud.com/matthew-ervvin/stoned
I've never been much of a rock fan, so I can't really critique this. IMO the success of a song of this type lies in the catchiness of the half-chanted chorus ("We're not gonna take it ...," "I love rock 'n' roll ...," etc.). "I wanna get you stoned," has the right anthemic quality for a concert, but falls flat due to the unchanging repetitions. For example, the two above-cited choruses change within their repetitions: "We're not gonna take it/No! We ain't gonna take it/We're not gonna take it/Anymore" changes both the lyric and the rhythm.
I wanna get you stoned
tear off your clothes and get you stoned
get down and nasty, get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
Also "altar" is misspelled in the second verse.
thanks for reading and critiquing.
what music do you enjoy?
Frankie Laine, Johnnie Ray, Kay Starr, Kitty Kallen, Georgia Gibbs, Pat Boone, Doris Day, Nat Cole, Connie Francis, Tony Bennett, Frank Sinatra -- a few rockers: Elvis Presley, Bobby Darin, Dion.
OK...because this is 90's style grunge type music, and the repetitive lyric, or chorus is the actual style. FYI. Thanks again for reading and commenting.
You know, I missed (as in totally avoided) pretty much all of the music of the 90s, 00s and beyond. I recognize a lot of 80s tunes solely because I was dating then and was thus forced to expose myself to them. Which is just to reinforce my opening statement that I've got no business commenting on rock.
matthewerwwin
2016-01-17 06:33:19 UTC
Permalink
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by matthewerwwin
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by matthewerwwin
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by matthewerwwin
Meet me on the road
We'll hike into the mountains
And find a place of seclusion.
Out there all alone
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
When we get back home
We'll get in front of the alter
and remove all or our clothing.
Right there in front of God
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely now!!
(solo/chorus)
It's turning me on
Being near you
Ready to go
All the way.
It's turning me on
Feeling your love
Coursing through
All of my veins.
It's turning me on.
(outro)
Words, music, production, mixing, matthew ewervvin
https://soundcloud.com/matthew-ervvin/stoned
I've never been much of a rock fan, so I can't really critique this. IMO the success of a song of this type lies in the catchiness of the half-chanted chorus ("We're not gonna take it ...," "I love rock 'n' roll ...," etc.). "I wanna get you stoned," has the right anthemic quality for a concert, but falls flat due to the unchanging repetitions. For example, the two above-cited choruses change within their repetitions: "We're not gonna take it/No! We ain't gonna take it/We're not gonna take it/Anymore" changes both the lyric and the rhythm.
I wanna get you stoned
tear off your clothes and get you stoned
get down and nasty, get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
Also "altar" is misspelled in the second verse.
thanks for reading and critiquing.
what music do you enjoy?
Frankie Laine, Johnnie Ray, Kay Starr, Kitty Kallen, Georgia Gibbs, Pat Boone, Doris Day, Nat Cole, Connie Francis, Tony Bennett, Frank Sinatra -- a few rockers: Elvis Presley, Bobby Darin, Dion.
OK...because this is 90's style grunge type music, and the repetitive lyric, or chorus is the actual style. FYI. Thanks again for reading and commenting.
You know, I missed (as in totally avoided) pretty much all of the music of the 90s, 00s and beyond. I recognize a lot of 80s tunes solely because I was dating then and was thus forced to expose myself to them. Which is just to reinforce my opening statement that I've got no business commenting on rock.
Yes...the basic idea is to turn up the volume very loud until your ears bleed. That way, if there was any real music taking place, it wouldn't have mattered...you can't hear anymore.
: )
Peter J Ross
2016-01-30 20:13:26 UTC
Permalink
In alt.arts.poetry.comments on Sat, 16 Jan 2016 22:18:11 -0800 (PST),
Post by Michael Pendragon
I
I
I
expose myself
TMI!
Post by Michael Pendragon
my
I've
When you're not using a childish alias, does your surname start with a
D? Is it also possible that it rhymes with "mockery"?

Just curious. I have a theory that these mental disorders run in
families.
--
PJR :-)

τὸν οἰόμενον νόον ἔχειν ὁ νουθετέων ματαιοπονεῖ.
- Democritus
Will Dockery
2016-01-17 15:37:45 UTC
Permalink
Post by matthewerwwin
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by matthewerwwin
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by matthewerwwin
Meet me on the road
We'll hike into the mountains
And find a place of seclusion.
Out there all alone
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
When we get back home
We'll get in front of the alter
and remove all or our clothing.
Right there in front of God
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely now!!
(solo/chorus)
It's turning me on
Being near you
Ready to go
All the way.
It's turning me on
Feeling your love
Coursing through
All of my veins.
It's turning me on.
(outro)
Words, music, production, mixing, matthew ewervvin
https://soundcloud.com/matthew-ervvin/stoned
I've never been much of a rock fan, so I can't really critique this. IMO the success of a song of this type lies in the catchiness of the half-chanted chorus ("We're not gonna take it ...," "I love rock 'n' roll ...," etc.). "I wanna get you stoned," has the right anthemic quality for a concert, but falls flat due to the unchanging repetitions. For example, the two above-cited choruses change within their repetitions: "We're not gonna take it/No! We ain't gonna take it/We're not gonna take it/Anymore" changes both the lyric and the rhythm.
I wanna get you stoned
tear off your clothes and get you stoned
get down and nasty, get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
Also "altar" is misspelled in the second verse.
thanks for reading and critiquing.
what music do you enjoy?
Frankie Laine, Johnnie Ray, Kay Starr, Kitty Kallen, Georgia Gibbs, Pat Boone, Doris Day, Nat Cole, Connie Francis, Tony Bennett, Frank Sinatra -- a few rockers: Elvis Presley, Bobby Darin, Dion.
OK...because this is 90's style grunge type music, and the repetitive lyric, or chorus is the actual style. FYI. Thanks again for reading and commenting.
Which could be surprisingly poetic, very often.

Nirvana led the pack, with Stone Temple Pilots and Pearl Jam also supplied some very substantial lyrics.

I'd add the lesser known but maybe greatest of all, Pavement.

Did anyone catch my play on words when I typed, rather than "grunge" I wrot Crunge?

That was a Led Zeppelin reference.

"Where's that confounded bridge?"

:D
Rex Hester Jr.
2019-07-10 23:25:13 UTC
Permalink
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by matthewerwwin
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by matthewerwwin
Meet me on the road
We'll hike into the mountains
And find a place of seclusion.
Out there all alone
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
When we get back home
We'll get in front of the alter
and remove all or our clothing.
Right there in front of God
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely now!!
(solo/chorus)
It's turning me on
Being near you
Ready to go
All the way.
It's turning me on
Feeling your love
Coursing through
All of my veins.
It's turning me on.
(outro)
Words, music, production, mixing, matthew ewervvin
https://soundcloud.com/matthew-ervvin/stoned
I've never been much of a rock fan, so I can't really critique this. IMO the success of a song of this type lies in the catchiness of the half-chanted chorus ("We're not gonna take it ...," "I love rock 'n' roll ...," etc.). "I wanna get you stoned," has the right anthemic quality for a concert, but falls flat due to the unchanging repetitions. For example, the two above-cited choruses change within their repetitions: "We're not gonna take it/No! We ain't gonna take it/We're not gonna take it/Anymore" changes both the lyric and the rhythm.
I wanna get you stoned
tear off your clothes and get you stoned
get down and nasty, get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
Also "altar" is misspelled in the second verse.
thanks for reading and critiquing.
what music do you enjoy?
Frankie Laine, Johnnie Ray, Kay Starr, Kitty Kallen, Georgia Gibbs, Pat Boone, Doris Day, Nat Cole, Connie Francis, Tony Bennett, Frank Sinatra -- a few rockers: Elvis Presley, Bobby Darin, Dion.
OK...because this is 90's style grunge type music, and the repetitive lyric, or chorus is the actual style. FYI. Thanks again for reading and commenting.
Which could be surprisingly poetic, very often.
Nirvana led the pack, with Stone Temple Pilots and Pearl Jam also supplied some very substantial lyrics.
I'd add the lesser known but maybe greatest of all, Pavement.
Did anyone catch my play on words when I typed, rather than "grunge" I wrot Crunge?
That was a Led Zeppelin reference.
"Where's that confounded bridge?"
:D
That was a damned cool song indeed.....
Rex Hunter III
2019-07-14 21:41:32 UTC
Permalink
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Will Dockery
https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.arts.poetry.comments/19KD4g3u9GM/xR2-bGi7BwAJ
Post by matthewerwwin
I just had a listen
"just" as in "simply had a listen".
"Just" means "Simply"
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/just
3a : ONLY, SIMPLY
just last year
just be yourself
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
and told Matt what I think of the song.
"told" is past tense and "think" is present tense
I used think because I thought it then and still think so now.
Post by Will Dockery
I just had a listen and told Matt what I think of the song.
:)
You nailed it Doc..
matthewerwwin
2016-01-14 06:02:47 UTC
Permalink
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by matthewerwwin
Meet me on the road
We'll hike into the mountains
And find a place of seclusion.
Out there all alone
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
When we get back home
We'll get in front of the alter
and remove all or our clothing.
Right there in front of God
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely now!!
(solo/chorus)
It's turning me on
Being near you
Ready to go
All the way.
It's turning me on
Feeling your love
Coursing through
All of my veins.
It's turning me on.
(outro)
Words, music, production, mixing, matthew ewervvin
https://soundcloud.com/matthew-ervvin/stoned
I've never been much of a rock fan, so I can't really critique this. IMO the success of a song of this type lies in the catchiness of the half-chanted chorus ("We're not gonna take it ...," "I love rock 'n' roll ...," etc.). "I wanna get you stoned," has the right anthemic quality for a concert, but falls flat due to the unchanging repetitions. For example, the two above-cited choruses change within their repetitions: "We're not gonna take it/No! We ain't gonna take it/We're not gonna take it/Anymore" changes both the lyric and the rhythm.
I wanna get you stoned
tear off your clothes and get you stoned
get down and nasty, get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
Also "altar" is misspelled in the second verse.
thanks...missed that.
Peter J Ross
2016-01-16 21:41:38 UTC
Permalink
In alt.arts.poetry.comments on Wed, 13 Jan 2016 09:37:58 -0800 (PST),
Post by Michael Pendragon
I can't really critique this.
"We know."
--
PJR :-)

τὸν οἰόμενον νόον ἔχειν ὁ νουθετέων ματαιοπονεῖ.
- Democritus
Rex Hunter III
2019-07-17 04:49:29 UTC
Permalink
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by matthewerwwin
Meet me on the road
We'll hike into the mountains
And find a place of seclusion.
Out there all alone
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
When we get back home
We'll get in front of the alter
and remove all or our clothing.
Right there in front of God
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely now!!
(solo/chorus)
It's turning me on
Being near you
Ready to go
All the way.
It's turning me on
Feeling your love
Coursing through
All of my veins.
It's turning me on.
(outro)
Words, music, production, mixing, matthew ewervvin
https://soundcloud.com/matthew-ervvin/stoned
I've never been much of a rock fan, so I can't really critique this. IMO the success of a song of this type lies in the catchiness of the half-chanted chorus ("We're not gonna take it ...," "I love rock 'n' roll ...," etc.). "I wanna get you stoned," has the right anthemic quality for a concert, but falls flat due to the unchanging repetitions. For example, the two above-cited choruses change within their repetitions: "We're not gonna take it/No! We ain't gonna take it/We're not gonna take it/Anymore" changes both the lyric and the rhythm.
I wanna get you stoned
tear off your clothes and get you stoned
get down and nasty, get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
Also "altar" is misspelled in the second verse.
You kind of miss the point....

But what can we expect from a Pat Boone and Tiny Tim fan...?? ?
Peter J Ross
2016-01-16 21:40:45 UTC
Permalink
In alt.arts.poetry.comments on Wed, 13 Jan 2016 01:53:26 -0800 (PST),
Post by matthewerwwin
and remove all or our clothing.
Why are you so contemptuous of your potential readers that you don't
even proofread your "poems"?

I know the true answer: it's because you're not here to find readers
but to assist the Dreckery gang in flooding AAPC with garbage.
Nevertheless, I'd be amused to read your dishonest defence of what you
posted.
--
PJR :-)

τὸν οἰόμενον νόον ἔχειν ὁ νουθετέων ματαιοπονεῖ.
- Democritus
Michael Pendragon
2016-01-17 03:29:17 UTC
Permalink
Post by Peter J Ross
In alt.arts.poetry.comments on Wed, 13 Jan 2016 01:53:26 -0800 (PST),
Post by matthewerwwin
and remove all or our clothing.
Why are you ...
Nice catch, Peter. Welcome back.
Will Dockery
2016-01-17 04:55:19 UTC
Permalink
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Peter J Ross
In alt.arts.poetry.comments on Wed, 13 Jan 2016 01:53:26 -0800 (PST),
Post by matthewerwwin
and remove all or our clothing.
Why are you ...
Nice catch, Peter. Welcome back.
Peter who?

:D
matthewerwwin
2016-01-17 06:03:43 UTC
Permalink
Post by Peter J Ross
In alt.arts.poetry.comments on Wed, 13 Jan 2016 01:53:26 -0800 (PST),
Post by matthewerwwin
and remove all or our clothing.
Why are you so contemptuous of your potential readers that you don't
even proofread your "poems"?
I know the true answer: it's because you're not here to find readers
but to assist the Dreckery gang in flooding AAPC with garbage.
Nevertheless, I'd be amused to read your dishonest defence of what you
posted.
--
PJR :-)
τὸν οἰόμενον νόον ἔχειν ὁ νουθετέων ματαιοπονεῖ.
- Democritus
Sorry, just missed it. I meant altar and I put alter.

Anyway, you know that grammer has never been my thing.

I've tried very hard to make it my thing, and it turned me down.

: )
Peter J Ross
2016-01-30 20:09:28 UTC
Permalink
In alt.arts.poetry.comments on Sat, 16 Jan 2016 22:03:43 -0800 (PST),
Post by matthewerwwin
Anyway, you know that grammer has never been my thing.
Eyesight is also evidently not your thing, Matt MacGoo. It may
surprise you to learn that you're not posting to alt.education.remedial,
or even to alt.bus.short, but instead to a poetry/comments newsgroup.

Next time, please ask somebody to explain the sign on the door before
you enter.
--
PJR :-)

τὸν οἰόμενον νόον ἔχειν ὁ νουθετέων ματαιοπονεῖ.
- Democritus
Rex Hester Jr.
2019-07-10 09:15:58 UTC
Permalink
Post by matthewerwwin
Meet me on the road
We'll hike into the mountains
And find a place of seclusion.
Out there all alone
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
When we get back home
We'll get in front of the alter
and remove all or our clothing.
Right there in front of God
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely now!!
(solo/chorus)
It's turning me on
Being near you
Ready to go
All the way.
It's turning me on
Feeling your love
Coursing through
All of my veins.
It's turning me on.
(outro)
Words, music, production, mixing, matthew ewervvin
https://soundcloud.com/matthew-ervvin/stoned
Very good work Matt....

Wish ye would return... Bill Evans and Chris also....
Will Dockery
2019-07-12 04:16:50 UTC
Permalink
Yes, it was here in this thread where I "told" Matt what I thought of his song.

:)
Michael Pendragon
2019-07-12 12:04:26 UTC
Permalink
Post by Will Dockery
Yes, it was here in this thread where I "told" Matt what I thought of his song.
You really are too stupid for words. Stop using them.


Michael Pendragon
“My poem serves as my definition.”
-- Wee Whiny Willie Dockery, quintessential dumb fuck, pissbum
Will Dockery
2019-07-12 21:01:40 UTC
Permalink
Nancy G. I made my point, so you can troll on out of here.

:)
Rex Hunter III
2019-07-15 08:12:39 UTC
Permalink
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Will Dockery
https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.arts.poetry.comments/19KD4g3u9GM/xR2-bGi7BwAJ
Post by matthewerwwin
I just had a listen
"just" as in "simply had a listen".
"Just" means "Simply"
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/just
3a : ONLY, SIMPLY
just last year
just be yourself
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
and told Matt what I think of the song.
"told" is past tense and "think" is present tense
I used think because I thought it then and still think so now.
Post by Will Dockery
I just had a listen and told Matt what I think of the song.
:)
You nailed it Doc..
Will Dockery
2019-07-15 21:09:11 UTC
Permalink
https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.arts.poetry.comments/19KD4g3u9GM/xR2-bGi7BwAJ
Post by Rex Hester Jr.
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
I just had a listen
"just" as in "simply had a listen".
"Just" means "Simply"
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/just
3a : ONLY, SIMPLY
just last year
just be yourself
Post by Will Dockery
Post by matthewerwwin
and told Matt what I think of the song.
"told" is past tense and "think" is present tense
I used think because I thought it then and still think so now.
Post by Will Dockery
I just had a listen and told Matt what I think of the song.
You nailed it Doc..
Yes, by George, I think I did.

;)
Rex Hunter III
2019-07-15 23:32:48 UTC
Permalink
Post by matthewerwwin
Meet me on the road
We'll hike into the mountains
And find a place of seclusion.
Out there all alone
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
I wanna get you stoned
When we get back home
We'll get in front of the alter
and remove all or our clothing.
Right there in front of God
We'll get down and nasty
Just like the way that it should be.
(chorus)
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely
Ain't lonely now!!
(solo/chorus)
It's turning me on
Being near you
Ready to go
All the way.
It's turning me on
Feeling your love
Coursing through
All of my veins.
It's turning me on.
(outro)
Words, music, production, mixing, matthew ewervvin
https://soundcloud.com/matthew-ervvin/stoned
Nice work by the way.............
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