Post by Wicked Uncle NigelUsing the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, platypus
Post by platypusPost by Wicked Uncle NigelI was thinking something involving the Coriolis force, gaffa
rape[1], and something quantum.
It's all that, and more. You really need to get up to speed on
hairy-string theory.
Clearly. I shall consult Google at once. If not sooner.
<Googles>
Blimey. There's a lot of dimensions here. Hang on...
<Makes odd gestures with right hand>
No, no. Don't get it at all.
<Tries again with left hand>
I'm clearly missing something here.
<Tries once more with both hands and first three toes of right foot>
Bloody hell! Who'da' thunk it, eh?
The thing is, string theory has it over particle theory because particle
theory only works if gravity doesn't exist. This is because particle
interactions can occur at zero distance. String interactions don't occur at
a point. Particles in string theory occur as excitations of the string, and
one possible particle has zero mass and two units of spin - I'm sure you can
see where this is leading. If there was such a thing as a graviton, this
would be it. Hairy string theory, OTOH, predicts a particle with
appropriate mass and two units of countersteer, informally referred to as a
coriolon.
Post by Wicked Uncle NigelDoes Ivan know he's out of a job yet?
I think he's fed up with all that hadron bollocks anyway.
Post by Wicked Uncle NigelPost by platypusPost by Wicked Uncle NigelHang on, you can't fool me that easily! Everyone knows magnets don't
work on a shaftie.
They do if they're contra-rotating magnetic monopoles.
Oooooooh! So close, you nearly had me there. Fortunately, I've been
around Usenet long enough to know that any sentence involving the
phrase "contra-rotating" is always bollocks[1].
Whatever. The magnetic monopoles are mounted to the shaft in such a way
that they maintain a constant orientation despite the rotation of the shaft.
This means that a unified coriolon field can be maintained without worrying
about flux interactions from the transmission. When a countersteering force
is applied to this field, it in effect locally distorts the background
graviton field, creating a centrifugal anomaly with quite sharply defined
boundaries, known as a bubble. The principal characteristic of a bubble is
that the graviton field in it is uniformly at an angle to the field outside
the bubble, and the angle is proportional to the angle of the
countersteering force but 90 deg out of phase. The effect is that, as far
as the house is concerned, the local gravity banks over to allow it to
negotiate the corner safely. The effect isn't absolute - there's some
leakage, hence the drift - but the drawers are self-closing, and the knives
are on a magnetic knife rack...
Post by Wicked Uncle Nigel[1] Unless it also has "tassles", obviously.
Fuck off, this is serious. I've spent years researching this.
--
platypus
paris or maybe hell