Post by Will DockeryPost by Michelangelo ScarlottiPost by D***@novabbs.i2pThere were thousands of apples in my poem, which described them in a montage style.
Just repost the line/lines in the poem that specifically mention apples
https://www.novabbs.com/index.php?t=msg&goto=2727531&&srch=%22apple+montage%22#msg_2727531
1) Apple Montage
(Visual: One big green or red apple)
Apple Montage is just the title.
A montage does not suggest "one big apple." It suggests several apples.
However, since this is the *title* the reader expects there to be an apple in the actual *text* of the poem.
I'm still waiting for you to point a single apple out in the poem's text.
Post by Will Dockery2) To the right
behind the barn
were apple trees.
(Visual: Hundreds or thousands of apples in these trees)
The "Visual" is in your head, Will. I'm not asking about what goes on in your head. I'm asking for an example *in the poem.*
You've merely said that there are apple trees. Apple trees do not bear ripe fruit all year.
Your poem is set *after* the harvest because your father and uncle are brewing apple butter. Since the apples have been harvested, they are no longer on the apple trees.
The "Visual" that I get from this passage is one of apple trees with leaves of red, brown and gold -- and nary an apple in sight.
Post by Will Dockery3) There were several
of those trees
(Visual: Close up, more apples, red or green, perhaps both)
This passage doesn't even specify that they are apple trees.
Post by Will Dockery4) and other trees
behind them
beyond a field
(Visual: Should it be specified that these are apple trees, as in an orchard?)
Nor does this.
The only "visual" I get is one of trees. Lots and lots of trees.
And even if they were apple trees, there is no reason to believe that they are covered with ripe fruit.
And even if this passage takes place a month before the apple butter scene, the subject in this not-quite-a-sentence is the trees -- not the unmentioned apples.
Post by Will Dockery5) and behind them, other trees.
(Visual: Hundreds, thousands of apples)
Perhaps you should call you poem "Tree Montage." It's certainly got more than its share of trees.
Post by Will Dockery6) watched Pops and my Uncle
cooking apple butter
(Visual: Deconstructed apples, peals and cores,and the apple sauce)
Visual: two middle aged men stirring a kettle of applesauce.
Post by Will Dockery7) a wine bottle
(Visual: Apple wine?)
Visual: Ripple.
Post by Will Dockery8) The air smelled of apple fumes
(Visual: Smell of apples brings mental picture, or should)
Fumes from the cooking apple butter.
So far the only mention of "apples" is in the title.
Your (for lack of a better word) argument, is predicated upon the "visuals" that arise inside your head when you read your poem. It is not based upon the actual *words* that appear within your poem's text. IOW: You are imagining things that you *wanted* the poem to express, but which you've neglected to actually put into your poem.
The "montage" appears to be a figment of your imagination as well: you see 8 apple-inspired "visuals," ergo 8 visuals make a "montage."
The poem, however, remains two scenes and a transition set in an apple orchard.