OT: Taking the piss? (one for the chemists..)

[WavyDavy]

Literally.

Just noticed that my keeps-your-skin-looking-just-as-shite-as-before Nivea
'for Men' facewash contains 'Urea'........

So my questions are:

1. Why? and
2. Where do they get it from?

Dave

[Nigel Eaton]

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, WavyDavy

Post by WavyDavy
Literally.
Just noticed that my keeps-your-skin-looking-just-as-shite-as-before Nivea
'for Men' facewash

You big fucking girl's blouse.

[WavyDavy]

Post by Nigel Eaton
Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, WavyDavy

Post by WavyDavy
Literally.
Just noticed that my keeps-your-skin-looking-just-as-shite-as-before Nivea
'for Men' facewash

You big fucking girl's blouse.

If *you* looked like *me* you'd try anything, too :)

Dave

[MattG]

Post by WavyDavy
If *you* looked like *me* you'd try anything, too :)

What, "the sexiest mother fucker in the room"?

[christofire]

Post by MattG

Post by WavyDavy
If *you* looked like *me* you'd try anything, too :)

What, "the sexiest mother fucker in the room"?

<VBG>

[christofire]

Subject: Re: OT: Taking the piss? (one for the chemists..)
Newsgroups: uk.rec.motorcycles
Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, WavyDavy

Post by WavyDavy
Literally.
Just noticed that my keeps-your-skin-looking-just-as-shite-as-before Nivea
'for Men' facewash

You big fucking girl's blouse.
--
Nigel - No longer worse than Platypus
WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0

^^^^

What would you know about it? You can't even find your face, let alone
wash it.

[Champ]

On Sat, 13 Dec 2003 19:01:11 +0000, Nigel Eaton

Post by Nigel Eaton
Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, WavyDavy

Post by WavyDavy
Literally.
Just noticed that my keeps-your-skin-looking-just-as-shite-as-before Nivea
'for Men' facewash

You big fucking girl's blouse.

I think he gets more shags than you, y'know.

[Nigel Eaton]

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Champ

Post by Champ
On Sat, 13 Dec 2003 19:01:11 +0000, Nigel Eaton

Post by Nigel Eaton
Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, WavyDavy

Post by WavyDavy
Literally.
Just noticed that my keeps-your-skin-looking-just-as-shite-as-before Nivea
'for Men' facewash

You big fucking girl's blouse.

I think he gets more shags than you, y'know.

I thought he was married too? Oh RIIIIIGHT... With you now squire.

<taps nose>

[jsp]

Post by WavyDavy
Literally.
Just noticed that my keeps-your-skin-looking-just-as-shite-as-before Nivea
'for Men' facewash contains 'Urea'........
1. Why? and

Long been known for it's skin softening qualities. Best cure for hard
skin on the feet is to piss in a bowl and soak your feet in it.

Post by WavyDavy
2. Where do they get it from?

:-)

Tell you what, you send me half the cost of that Nivea stuff, and I'll
send you a jar of my very own formulation.

Contents:
Urea, for skin softening, with an element of alcohol for removal of grease.

[Whinging Courier]

Post by jsp

Post by WavyDavy
Just noticed that my keeps-your-skin-looking-just-as-shite-as-before Nivea
'for Men' facewash contains 'Urea'........
1. Why? and

Long been known for it's skin softening qualities. Best cure for hard
skin on the feet is to piss in a bowl and soak your feet in it.

Post by WavyDavy
2. Where do they get it from?

:-)
Tell you what, you send me half the cost of that Nivea stuff, and I'll
send you a jar of my very own formulation.
Urea, for skin softening, with an element of alcohol for removal of grease.

Otex ear wax stuff has got it in as well[1]

[1]If you want to stop wax, stop sticking matchsticks in yer ears. It
doesn't help ;-)

[Grimly Curmudgeon]

On Sat, 13 Dec 2003 19:27:28 -0000, Whinging Courier

Post by Whinging Courier
[1]If you want to stop wax, stop sticking matchsticks in yer ears. It
doesn't help ;-)

Not if they're lit, no.

[Old Fart at Play]

Post by Grimly Curmudgeon
On Sat, 13 Dec 2003 19:27:28 -0000, Whinging Courier

Post by Whinging Courier
[1]If you want to stop wax, stop sticking matchsticks in yer ears. It
doesn't help ;-)

Not if they're lit, no.

They're not matchsticks,
they are Hopi ear candles.

[Champ]

On Sat, 13 Dec 2003 19:27:28 -0000, Whinging Courier

Post by Whinging Courier
Otex ear wax stuff has got it in as well[1]
[1]If you want to stop wax, stop sticking matchsticks in yer ears. It
doesn't help ;-)

A consulant who specialised in ear conditions once advised that you
should never stick anything in your ear. If you absolutely *have* to,
then you should limit youself to your elbow.

[jsp]

Post by Grimly Curmudgeon
On Sat, 13 Dec 2003 19:27:28 -0000, Whinging Courier

Post by Whinging Courier
Otex ear wax stuff has got it in as well[1]
[1]If you want to stop wax, stop sticking matchsticks in yer ears. It
doesn't help ;-)

A consulant who specialised in ear conditions once advised that you
should never stick anything in your ear. If you absolutely *have* to,
then you should limit youself to your elbow.

So he wouldn't be in favour of using the lid off a bic biro then?

[Andy Bonwick]

Post by jsp

Post by Grimly Curmudgeon
On Sat, 13 Dec 2003 19:27:28 -0000, Whinging Courier

Post by Whinging Courier
Otex ear wax stuff has got it in as well[1]
[1]If you want to stop wax, stop sticking matchsticks in yer ears. It
doesn't help ;-)

A consulant who specialised in ear conditions once advised that you
should never stick anything in your ear. If you absolutely *have* to,
then you should limit youself to your elbow.

So he wouldn't be in favour of using the lid off a bic biro then?

The only safe way to use a biro lid for wax removal is if you soften
the wax by getting someone to lick it then they suck the wax out
using the lid as a straw.
HTH

[jsp]

Post by Andy Bonwick

Post by jsp

Post by Grimly Curmudgeon
Whinging Courier

Post by Whinging Courier
[1]If you want to stop wax, stop sticking matchsticks in yer ears. It
doesn't help ;-)

A consulant who specialised in ear conditions once advised that you
should never stick anything in your ear. If you absolutely *have* to,
then you should limit youself to your elbow.

So he wouldn't be in favour of using the lid off a bic biro then?

The only safe way to use a biro lid for wax removal is if you soften
the wax by getting someone to lick it then they suck the wax out
using the lid as a straw.
HTH

ewwwwww.

[Nidge]

Post by jsp

Post by Andy Bonwick
The only safe way to use a biro lid for wax removal is if you soften
the wax by getting someone to lick it then they suck the wax out
using the lid as a straw.
HTH

ewwwwww.

Why ewwwww? .......... Its not as if you've got tastebuds in yer nostril is
it?

--
Nidge
ZX6R J2 Stunning in zit yellow. Bits of CB500S in Norwegian Parrot blue.
BOTAFOT#63

'Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand'.
(Homer Simpson).

[steve auvache]

Post by Nidge

Post by jsp

Post by Andy Bonwick
The only safe way to use a biro lid for wax removal is if you soften
the wax by getting someone to lick it then they suck the wax out
using the lid as a straw.
HTH

ewwwwww.

Why ewwwww? .......... Its not as if you've got tastebuds in yer nostril is
it?

Well.... Given the apparent close commotion 'twixt smelling and tasting
I would still stand upwind of you.

[Whinging Courier]

Post by jsp

Post by Champ
A consulant who specialised in ear conditions once advised that you
should never stick anything in your ear. If you absolutely *have* to,
then you should limit youself to your elbow.

So he wouldn't be in favour of using the lid off a bic biro then?

Oh yes, I like those. What else is good is the inside of the bic, the
see through straw bit.[1] If you dig it right in and have a good gouge
about you can get the wax to actually go down the straw. You can then
have loads of fun picking it all out with a pin ;-)

[1] I don't know what they've done to them recently though because you
can't get the ink bit out for love nor money, not even a goodly gripped
pair of teeth do it anymore.

[Abso]

Post by jsp

Post by WavyDavy
Literally.
Just noticed that my
keeps-your-skin-looking-just-as-shite-as-before Nivea 'for Men'
facewash contains 'Urea'........
1. Why? and

Long been known for it's skin softening qualities. Best cure for
hard skin on the feet is to piss in a bowl and soak your feet in it.

So the fuss that Alex of Big Brother fame made over "peeing in the
shower" was actually unfounded. Coo-ee.

[Champ]

Post by Abso

Post by jsp
Long been known for it's skin softening qualities. Best cure for
hard skin on the feet is to piss in a bowl and soak your feet in it.

So the fuss that Alex of Big Brother fame made over "peeing in the
shower" was actually unfounded. Coo-ee.

Doesn't everyone pee in the shower?

Better not mention the bath, then.

[Salad Dodger]

Post by Champ

Post by Abso

Post by jsp
Long been known for it's skin softening qualities. Best cure for
hard skin on the feet is to piss in a bowl and soak your feet in it.

So the fuss that Alex of Big Brother fame made over "peeing in the
shower" was actually unfounded. Coo-ee.

Doesn't everyone pee in the shower?
Better not mention the bath, then.

Common folk piss in the bath.

Us posh sorts piss into the flannel, and wring it out into the sink.

hth.

[Andy Bonwick]

On Sun, 14 Dec 2003 22:04:53 +0000, Salad Dodger
<***@dsl.pipex.com> wrote:
snip>

Post by Salad Dodger
Common folk piss in the bath.
Us posh sorts piss into the flannel, and wring it out into the sink.
hth.

Clever people piss into someone elses flannel and wring it out into
sink.

[Champ]

On Sun, 14 Dec 2003 22:25:10 +0000, Andy Bonwick

Post by Andy Bonwick
On Sun, 14 Dec 2003 22:04:53 +0000, Salad Dodger
snip>

Post by Salad Dodger
Common folk piss in the bath.
Us posh sorts piss into the flannel, and wring it out into the sink.
hth.

Clever people piss into someone elses flannel and wring it out into
sink.

<makes note: bathroom off limits to Bonwick in future>

[steve auvache]

Post by Champ
On Sun, 14 Dec 2003 22:25:10 +0000, Andy Bonwick

Post by Andy Bonwick
On Sun, 14 Dec 2003 22:04:53 +0000, Salad Dodger
snip>

Post by Salad Dodger
Common folk piss in the bath.
Us posh sorts piss into the flannel, and wring it out into the sink.
hth.

Clever people piss into someone elses flannel and wring it out into
sink.

<makes note: bathroom off limits to Bonwick in future>

Bathroom?! You haven't worked out why your houseplants are doing so
well then?

[PeterT]

steve auvache

Post by steve auvache
Champ

Post by Champ
<makes note: bathroom off limits to Bonwick in future>

Bathroom?! You haven't worked out why your houseplants are doing so
well then?

Since when does Champ have houseplants?

[steve auvache]

Post by steve auvache
steve auvache

Post by steve auvache
Champ

Post by Champ
<makes note: bathroom off limits to Bonwick in future>

Bathroom?! You haven't worked out why your houseplants are doing so
well then?

Since when does Champ have houseplants?

Artistic license wannit.

I know that he would never be so silly as to commit to the care of any
living thing other than himself.

[Champ]

On Mon, 15 Dec 2003 14:02:27 +0000, steve auvache

Post by steve auvache

Post by steve auvache
steve auvache

Post by steve auvache
Champ

Post by Champ
<makes note: bathroom off limits to Bonwick in future>

Bathroom?! You haven't worked out why your houseplants are doing so
well then?

Since when does Champ have houseplants?

Artistic license wannit.
I know that he would never be so silly as to commit to the care of any
living thing other than himself.

Heh. Actually, I quite like plants around the place, but am far too
forgetful to look after them - they'd all be dead in a month or so.

[Andy Bonwick]

Post by Champ
On Sun, 14 Dec 2003 22:25:10 +0000, Andy Bonwick

Post by Andy Bonwick
On Sun, 14 Dec 2003 22:04:53 +0000, Salad Dodger
snip>

Post by Salad Dodger
Common folk piss in the bath.
Us posh sorts piss into the flannel, and wring it out into the sink.
hth.

Clever people piss into someone elses flannel and wring it out into
sink.

<makes note: bathroom off limits to Bonwick in future>

I've only ever used your shower and nobody gives a fuck who pisses
in the shower do they?

Check your toothbrush btw, I had a couple of stubborn clinkers to
remove when we were all going out on the piss last month.

[pseudoplatypus]

Post by Andy Bonwick
On Sun, 14 Dec 2003 22:04:53 +0000, Salad Dodger
snip>

Post by Salad Dodger
Common folk piss in the bath.
Us posh sorts piss into the flannel, and wring it out into the sink.
hth.

Clever people piss into someone elses flannel and wring it out into
sink.

Clever posh people piss into someone else's flannel and get the maid to
wring it out into the sink.

[d***@burnt.org.uk]

Post by Champ
Doesn't everyone pee in the shower?
Better not mention the bath, then.

I do neither. Er.. I do shower and bathe in case people wondered.

[Phil Launchbury]

Post by jsp

Post by WavyDavy
Literally.
Just noticed that my keeps-your-skin-looking-just-as-shite-as-before Nivea
'for Men' facewash contains 'Urea'........
1. Why? and

Long been known for it's skin softening qualities. Best cure for hard
skin on the feet is to piss in a bowl and soak your feet in it.

It also makes stuff look whiter and cleaner cos it flouresces under
UV light..

Which is why it's in washing powder as well.

Phil

[Chris H]

Post by WavyDavy
Literally.
Just noticed that my keeps-your-skin-looking-just-as-shite-as-before Nivea
'for Men' facewash contains 'Urea'........
1. Why? and
2. Where do they get it from?

http://users.rcn.com/jkimball.ma.ultranet/BiologyPages/U/UreaCycle.html

[cheryl2304]

Post by WavyDavy
Literally.
Just noticed that my keeps-your-skin-looking-just-as-shite-as-before Nivea
'for Men' facewash contains 'Urea'........
1. Why? and
2. Where do they get it from?

2. Pregnant horses

HTH


--
Cheryl
GPZ500s
Byfleet shuttle

[PeterT]

cheryl2304

Post by cheryl2304

Post by WavyDavy
Literally.
Just noticed that my keeps-your-skin-looking-just-as-shite-as-before Nivea
'for Men' facewash contains 'Urea'........
1. Why? and
2. Where do they get it from?

2. Pregnant horses
HTH

What's the advantage of the horse being pregnant?

[Steve Morgan]

Post by WavyDavy
Literally.
Just noticed that my keeps-your-skin-looking-just-as-shite-as-before Nivea
'for Men' facewash contains 'Urea'........
1. Why? and
2. Where do they get it from?

Makes fine telephones, too[1].

[1] or use to, at least.

[JC]

On Sat, 13 Dec 2003 18:50:03 +0000 (UTC), "WavyDavy"

Post by WavyDavy
2. Where do they get it from?

Pigs, I think. There's a whole international trade in the stuff, with
dedicated 'Urea Tankers' plying the worlds oceans.

I wonder if one of those sank in the North Sea, whether the whole east
coast would smell like Yates' Wine Lodge bogs on a friday night....



----== Posted via Newsfeed.Com - Unlimited-Uncensored-Secure Usenet News==----
http://www.newsfeed.com The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! >100,000 Newsgroups
---= 19 East/West-Coast Specialized Servers - Total Privacy via Encryption =---

[Ben Blaney]

Post by JC
I wonder if one of those sank in the North Sea, whether the whole east
coast would smell like Yates' Wine Lodge bogs on a friday night...

How would we notice the difference?

[Andy Bonwick]

On Sat, 13 Dec 2003 23:16:34 +0000, "Ben Blaney"

Post by Ben Blaney

Post by JC
I wonder if one of those sank in the North Sea, whether the whole east
coast would smell like Yates' Wine Lodge bogs on a friday night...

How would we notice the difference?

I doubt it when you look at the amount of untreated sewage that gets
pumped straight out into the North Sea. I wouldn't swim anywhere off
the Norfolk coast unless I wanted turds & tampons for company.

[Rope]

Post by WavyDavy
Just noticed that my keeps-your-skin-looking-just-as-shite-as-before Nivea
'for Men' facewash contains 'Urea'........

Ponce!

[Abso]

Post by WavyDavy
Literally.
Just noticed that my keeps-your-skin-looking-just-as-shite-as-before
Nivea 'for Men' facewash contains 'Urea'........

Look, there is only one true "treatment" for a healthy complexion and
that's plain water. All this fancy shit just strips the skin of
natural oils and either puts the little glandy things into overdrive,
meaning you get greasy skin or alternatively they can't keep up and you
get dry flaky skin.

Just have the courage to wash with only plain old warm water twice a
day for a month and see if that gives you better results.

It drives me mental how much women spend on fancy fruit acid scrub
facial shit which does little more than produce an irritated red
complexion. Most unattractive.

[steve auvache]

Post by Abso
It drives me mental how much women spend on fancy fruit acid scrub
facial shit which does little more than produce an irritated red
complexion. Most unattractive.

Is it? I wouldn't really know, I am more of a tit man me.

[Lozzo]

steve auvache said...

Post by steve auvache

Post by Abso
It drives me mental how much women spend on fancy fruit acid scrub
facial shit which does little more than produce an irritated red
complexion. Most unattractive.

Is it? I wouldn't really know, I am more of a tit man me.

Exactly, who the fuck looks at their faces?

[d***@burnt.org.uk]

Post by Lozzo
steve auvache said...

Post by steve auvache

Post by Abso
It drives me mental how much women spend on fancy fruit acid scrub
facial shit which does little more than produce an irritated red
complexion. Most unattractive.

Is it? I wouldn't really know, I am more of a tit man me.

Exactly, who the fuck looks at their faces?

Me. It's all in the eyes.

[Nigel Eaton]

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique,

Post by d***@burnt.org.uk

Post by Lozzo
steve auvache said...

Post by steve auvache

Post by Abso
It drives me mental how much women spend on fancy fruit acid scrub
facial shit which does little more than produce an irritated red
complexion. Most unattractive.

Is it? I wouldn't really know, I am more of a tit man me.

Exactly, who the fuck looks at their faces?

Me. It's all in the eyes.

With a little dribble running down the side of the nose?

[steve auvache]

Post by Nigel Eaton
Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique,

Post by d***@burnt.org.uk

Post by Lozzo
steve auvache said...

Post by steve auvache

Post by Abso
It drives me mental how much women spend on fancy fruit acid scrub
facial shit which does little more than produce an irritated red
complexion. Most unattractive.

Is it? I wouldn't really know, I am more of a tit man me.

Exactly, who the fuck looks at their faces?

Me. It's all in the eyes.

With a little dribble running down the side of the nose?

Oh yukk.

What an image. I'll never eat a bogie ever again.

[steve auvache]

Post by d***@burnt.org.uk

Post by Lozzo
steve auvache said...

Post by steve auvache

Post by Abso
It drives me mental how much women spend on fancy fruit acid scrub
facial shit which does little more than produce an irritated red
complexion. Most unattractive.

Is it? I wouldn't really know, I am more of a tit man me.

Exactly, who the fuck looks at their faces?

Me. It's all in the eyes.

The euphemism for which would be something along the lines of:-

A touch of grey in the eyebrows?

[jsp]

Is it? I wouldn't really know, I am more of a tit, me.

Heh, feedlines.....

[steve auvache]

Post by jsp

Is it? I wouldn't really know, I am more of a tit, me.

Heh, feedlines.....

<*sigh*>

Feedlines are only feedlines if they do not involve editing of a
previous post.

[William Grainger]

Post by steve auvache

Post by Abso
It drives me mental how much women spend on fancy fruit acid scrub
facial shit which does little more than produce an irritated red
complexion. Most unattractive.

Is it? I wouldn't really know, I am more of a tit man me.

So yu'd be happy with these then?

http://www.dabeeeenster.com/gallery/album20

[steve auvache]

Post by William Grainger

Post by steve auvache

Post by Abso
It drives me mental how much women spend on fancy fruit acid scrub
facial shit which does little more than produce an irritated red
complexion. Most unattractive.

Is it? I wouldn't really know, I am more of a tit man me.

So yu'd be happy with these then?
http://www.dabeeeenster.com/gallery/album20

That is disgusting that is.

[WavyDavy]

Post by Abso

Post by WavyDavy
Literally.
Just noticed that my keeps-your-skin-looking-just-as-shite-as-before
Nivea 'for Men' facewash contains 'Urea'........

Look, there is only one true "treatment" for a healthy complexion and
that's plain water. All this fancy shit just strips the skin of
natural oils and either puts the little glandy things into overdrive,
meaning you get greasy skin or alternatively they can't keep up and you
get dry flaky skin.
Just have the courage to wash with only plain old warm water twice a
day for a month and see if that gives you better results.

So washing twice a month with my Nivea shite ain't good enough... And I
have to wash *every_day*... ?? Bugger....

But on a more serious note - I know this - I did once let my hair get all
natural and only just rinsed it every day but, TBH, it was a pain for the
first 20-odd days and, back then, at least I could tie my hair back out of
the way. How do I go a full 30 days with 'orrible shite skin before it all
balances out? How will the many many women of Derbyshire cope with me
looking mingin'?? (What do you mean they already do?)

Dave

[Grimly Curmudgeon]

Post by Abso
which does little more than produce an irritated red
complexion.

You have that effect on wimmin too, huh?

[~..]

Post by WavyDavy
Just noticed that my keeps-your-skin-looking-just-as-shite-as-before Nivea
'for Men' facewash contains 'Urea'........
1. Why? and
2. Where do they get it from?

<newbie mode>
read everything my news feed had to offer to avoid posting info already here
so if i missed it, it wasn't on my feed...
</newbie mode>
/me waves chemistry degree for evidence of not spouting crap and launches
into answer.

1)we got told that the reason they put urea in things is to thicken them up.
were it not in there then the stuff would be so runny it'd just run off your
hand like water does, thus you'd loose most of it down the sink and that'd
be a waste of cash...

i'm not sure why it has to be recycled piss to achieve this end, maybe it's
cheap.
personally i use that t-tree rubbish that *is* a fluid till it squirts out
as a foam. no thickener for me.

2)dunno

can i have half marks?
~..
teenage spot fighting at 23?? leave me alone now, i'm too old.