Tom
2011-01-14 18:11:06 UTC
The conservatives currently running the Vatican have been working day
and night to have their boy, the late Karol Józef Wojtyła, alias Pope
John Paul the Second, beatified. Beatification is an official
Catholic Church "Go Directly To Heaven" card. Whereas there is always
a lingering doubt as to whether any of our dear departed have made it
safely past the Pearly Gates and avoided the Eternal Lake of Fire, a
beatification is incontrovertible verification from Heaven that some
particular soul has, in fact, Made It.
JP2 was a serious fan of beatifications and, over his long reign, he
managed to certify the Heavenly Presence of over 1300 souls, which
exceeds the total number of Catholics beatified by all the popes for
the past 500 years combined. I'm sure it's just coincidence that 500
years is just about exactly how long any beatification rules at all
have been in place. Prior to the late 1500's, any local bishop could
beatify anybody they liked. (In one case, a chronically inebriated
priest was beatified after having been killed in a drunken brawl.)
So how did John Paul 2 manage this incredible burst of blessedness?
Well, it's easy. He was pope. He simply changed the rules and
reality had no choice but to follow suit.
It used to be fairly tough to establish that a person had indeed met
the three great criteria that establish one as heroically Catholic.
First, one had to have "fame of sanctity". There had to be some
popular stories about how holy you were. Second, the prospective
proto-saint had to demonstrate "purity of doctrine", which basically
meant that he or she was not a closet heretic. Third (and this is the
real toughie), there had to be some documented heavenly miracle
associated with praying for his or her intercession after death.
For the past five hundred years there has been at least a token
skepticism in the official Catholic Church's reaction to claims of
miraculous holy purity. It wasn't enough just to claim this stuff.
There had to be some evidence. The Church Fathers had been somewhat
embarrassed by the drunken brawler beatification, not to mention the
beatification of several fictional characters, and they didn't want
any more of that, thank you very much. So they did what all good
organizations do when they need self-justification, they formed a
committee.
This committee's job was to examine the credibility of claims for
miraculous interventions and so on. One member of the committee
served as "Devil's Advocate", which was basically what we might call a
"fact checker". His job was to pour some cold (but holy) water on the
claim. He checked to see, for instance, if the person in questions
actually existed. He also inquired into the possibility that they may
have had a mistress or boy on the side, or engaged in any casual
simony, or that the claimed miracle was a made-up pile of crap, and so
on.
John Paul the Second thought that was too cumbersome. A genuine
skeptical inquiry into the facts of a claim took too long and too
often ended in disappointment. Things had gotten bogged down. It was
the same problem faced by professional basketball back in the 60's.
There were too many rules to make for a really entertaining spectator
sport. So John Paul Jr. made the same decision that the NBA did.
They let the players cheat more.
And so the office of the Devil's Advocate was abolished. No more
inconvenient skepticism. While doubts might be raised, a voting
majority of the committee could simply ignore them.
And so it was that John Paul was able to beatify so many claimants.
And now, it's his turn.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-12192639
and night to have their boy, the late Karol Józef Wojtyła, alias Pope
John Paul the Second, beatified. Beatification is an official
Catholic Church "Go Directly To Heaven" card. Whereas there is always
a lingering doubt as to whether any of our dear departed have made it
safely past the Pearly Gates and avoided the Eternal Lake of Fire, a
beatification is incontrovertible verification from Heaven that some
particular soul has, in fact, Made It.
JP2 was a serious fan of beatifications and, over his long reign, he
managed to certify the Heavenly Presence of over 1300 souls, which
exceeds the total number of Catholics beatified by all the popes for
the past 500 years combined. I'm sure it's just coincidence that 500
years is just about exactly how long any beatification rules at all
have been in place. Prior to the late 1500's, any local bishop could
beatify anybody they liked. (In one case, a chronically inebriated
priest was beatified after having been killed in a drunken brawl.)
So how did John Paul 2 manage this incredible burst of blessedness?
Well, it's easy. He was pope. He simply changed the rules and
reality had no choice but to follow suit.
It used to be fairly tough to establish that a person had indeed met
the three great criteria that establish one as heroically Catholic.
First, one had to have "fame of sanctity". There had to be some
popular stories about how holy you were. Second, the prospective
proto-saint had to demonstrate "purity of doctrine", which basically
meant that he or she was not a closet heretic. Third (and this is the
real toughie), there had to be some documented heavenly miracle
associated with praying for his or her intercession after death.
For the past five hundred years there has been at least a token
skepticism in the official Catholic Church's reaction to claims of
miraculous holy purity. It wasn't enough just to claim this stuff.
There had to be some evidence. The Church Fathers had been somewhat
embarrassed by the drunken brawler beatification, not to mention the
beatification of several fictional characters, and they didn't want
any more of that, thank you very much. So they did what all good
organizations do when they need self-justification, they formed a
committee.
This committee's job was to examine the credibility of claims for
miraculous interventions and so on. One member of the committee
served as "Devil's Advocate", which was basically what we might call a
"fact checker". His job was to pour some cold (but holy) water on the
claim. He checked to see, for instance, if the person in questions
actually existed. He also inquired into the possibility that they may
have had a mistress or boy on the side, or engaged in any casual
simony, or that the claimed miracle was a made-up pile of crap, and so
on.
John Paul the Second thought that was too cumbersome. A genuine
skeptical inquiry into the facts of a claim took too long and too
often ended in disappointment. Things had gotten bogged down. It was
the same problem faced by professional basketball back in the 60's.
There were too many rules to make for a really entertaining spectator
sport. So John Paul Jr. made the same decision that the NBA did.
They let the players cheat more.
And so the office of the Devil's Advocate was abolished. No more
inconvenient skepticism. While doubts might be raised, a voting
majority of the committee could simply ignore them.
And so it was that John Paul was able to beatify so many claimants.
And now, it's his turn.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-12192639