What did you watch?
Hey, thanks for asking!
CASEY JONES SO1E01 “night train”
Episode one and probably the pilot for the series. This is fairly different
than the regular episodes I’ve been watching and honestly … not very good.
To begin with I have no idea why it’s called “night train“ because none of
it takes place at night.
Casey Junior has a dog named cinders who gets a prominent main cast credit.
I’ve watched about half the other episodes and this is the only time I’ve
seen him.
There’s also an Indian, played by a real Indian, who just seems to hang
around the cannonballs engine car for no real reason I understand. I don’t
know if he just doesn’t have anything better to do or he works for them or
what.
Casey is high balling the cannonball express because he’s got a telegram
that the owner of the line needs to see him in St. Louis fast. This
doesn’t keep his wife from flagging him down in the middle of nowhere so
his son can get his birthday ride. But no dogs are allowed on the train! We
also established that Casey can stop this thing in a real short distance.
The cannonball has its antlers by the way.
Casey meets with the owner of the line. It seems they’re going to go
bankrupt unless they get the lucrative Mail contract. In two days time they
will have to run a race with the evil rail company and whoever gets their
bag of mail from St. Louis to Fort Worth first wins the contract. This
isn’t exactly a fair race given that they are on different lines and the
evil companies line is 25 miles shorter, Not to mention they have a shiny
new engine, the Swamp Tiger, that may be the fastest one around.
Nonetheless this doesn’t keep the evil company from seeking further
advantage by sabotaging both the cannonball and the tracks and trying to
bribe Casey to throw the race (he punches out the guy that does that). The
bad guy is named Mike Nelson. Wasn’t that name in use already in 1957?
Casey Junior wants to go along because this is his birthday present ride.
Wait a minute. We just saw him have his birthday present ride two days
earlier! Casey says no because he sure there will be trouble. But cinders
stows away aboard and Casey Junior is trapped trying to get him off.
The bad guys fill the cannonballs “journal box“ (a grease box) with flint
and steel filings so they’ll catch fire somewhere along the way. Nobody
from the cannonball notices that their train is being serviced by a guy in
the competing companies uniform even though they stop and talk to him.
The race is on! The cannonball express going over the top of the Ozarks and
the Swamp tiger taking the 25 mile shorter flatland route. Who exactly was
the idiot that built the cannonball route in the first place?
By the way it’s 700 miles by car from St. Louis to Fort Worth and their top
speed is 50 miles an hour so there’s no possible way at least some of that
shouldn’t be taking place at night!
At little giant gorge the evil railroad company makes a huge stack of
chopped up telephone poles on the tracks! Luckily Casey can stop the
cannonball on a dime without literally decimating the people on board.
Wait a minute. How did three nefarious bad guys chop a bunch of telephone
poles into quarter length pieces and make a huge stack of them on the
tracks with their bare hands? Much less why is the telegraph still
standing? Casey tells the Indian to get an ax and they’ll somehow clear
this off (yeah, in a couple of days maybe) but the evil bad guys shoot at
them! The conductor shoots back killing at least one of them and Casey Rams
the blockade and they continue on their way! Why didn’t he just do that to
start with?
At crest Junction the cannonball finds that all the wood they were supposed
to take on as fuel has been burned to a dog‘s name. I guess there must be
more than one set of nefarious felons. Casey Junior tells them that the
baggage car is completely full of wooden wagon parts! They can just chop up
all their cargo and use it for fuel!
What a way to run a railroad.
Casey tells the Indian to get the passengers to chop up all the wood in the
baggage car and when that’s done start tearing out the seats.
Wait. They’re carrying passengers? Why the hell are they carrying
passengers and cargo in a race?
The cannonball is back in the race but they are behind the tiger! The only
possible way they can know this is that they are watching the show along
with us and George Burns.
Casey reveals his wacky scheme. The only way to beat the tiger into Fort
Worth is to get off their track and onto the Tigers track. The two tracks
come close to each other at Weldon Crossing. Casey will have his passengers
(now we know why he has passengers) get off the train, rip up 30 feet of
the cannonball track with their bare hands and build a connection and
switch between their track and the evil track. With their bare hands.
Buck Taylor as Newly’s father points out that they’ll still be behind the
Tiger and they’ll be stuck behind them with no way to pass.
Casey has thought of this as well! There’s an old army spur, runs parallel
to the last 12 miles into Fort Worth! The cannonball will stay on the
Tigers tail at the last possible moment make a flying switch!
The Indian points out army spur not use long time unsafe. Casey says it’s
their only chance!
Somehow they get a bunch of picks and shovels and with the help of a boy
and his dog build a new section of railway.
Casey blows the whistle to let the tiger know he’s on its tail!
It’s time for the flying switch which means the Indian jumps off the train,
runs ahead of it, and throws the switch to put the cannonball on the
parallel track!
We then see a series of shots of both trains coming at us which they
accomplish with split screens. It’s like watching the patty duke show!
The cannonball is ahead! Wait, the cannonball is falling behind! The last
car has burst into flame from the sabotaged journal box!
The Indian goes back to cut the last car free! Why didn’t they do that once
they’ve gotten all the wood wagon parts out of it? Somehow he manages to
knock himself unconscious. Suddenly cinders runs out the open rear door and
Casey Junior chases him! Casey Junior releases the flaming car! The
cannonball surges ahead!
It’s neck and neck!
At Fort Worth the cannonball pulls up to the station and hands the mail to
the head of the Postal Service!
Now wait a minute. How the hell did the cannonball get to the station? They
are not on the right track!
Casey announces he’s going to give Casey Junior a savage beating for
disobeying him and stowing away on the train. The Indian says no beat son
son save me save train!
The head of the railroad says instead of giving Casey Junior the savage
beating he so richly deserves he’s going to give him and cinders a lifetime
pass for free travel as honorary engineers on the Cannonball express!
Luckily he carries those in his billfold at all times. It’s number 36.
Does he have these for all the other trains on his line as well?
Cinders barks. Everybody laughs. And they step a few feet forward to a
screen filling sign reading
TRACK RESERVED
FOR THE
CANNONBALL
EXPRESS
CASEY JONES
ENGINEER
Why is the sign on the abandoned army spur? Much less right in the middle
of the track where if the cannonball had gone another 10 feet forward it
would’ve knocked it down?
A
BRISKIN
PRODUCTION
That was… Really something.
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Let'a go Brandon!
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“The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on my list.”