Morrissey Breen
2003-10-01 05:13:22 UTC
BOOK PAUL HOLMES FOR YOUR CHRISTMAS FUNCTION!!!!!
BOOK PAUL HOLMES FOR YOUR CHRISTMAS FUNCTION!!!!!
BOOK PAUL HOLMES FOR YOUR CHRISTMAS FUNCTION!!!!!
BOOK PAUL HOLMES FOR YOUR CHRISTMAS FUNCTION!!!!!
Television's most controversial personality, Paul Holmes has changed
the face of news reporting in this country.
His award-winning television program, imaginatively titled "Holmes",
has the greatest overall viewing ratings in New Zealand and if that's
not enough his breakfast show on Newstalk ZB is the number one
breakfast show for news in New Zealand. Paul can always be counted on
to bring a subtly - and sometimes overtly - racist, politically
conservative, and often downright fascist, viewpoint to any interview
or discussion. Paul has won a special place in the hearts of all New
Zealanders with his charming (some might say smarmy) smile, his famed
empathetic stare, and his famous sign-off phrase "And that was OUR
people, tonight".
After completing a BA at Victoria University Paul joined the New
Zealand Broadcasting Corporation in 1972 as an announcer in
Christchurch. For much of the seventies he worked in Britain, Europe
and the United States. Since returning to New Zealand in 1985 his rise
has been dramatic, first as host of the morning talkback show on 2ZB
in Wellington then as host of the new breakfast session on Newstalk
1ZB when the format was changed overnight.
Now the top-rated show host on New Zealand radio, Paul Holmes has won
several awards including Best Talk Host (International) and Best Talk
Personality (Australian) at the 1989 Annual PATER Awards for
International Broadcasting.
Controversial, unorthodox, outrageous, racist, yet always ready to
apologize, Paul Holmes is the person people love to hate. Whether
it's his well publicised harassment of young women, his penetrating -
though some might say sycophantic - interviews, his sneering
denigration of working people, his unquestioning, grovelling support
for the rogue Bush administration and its illegal invasion of Iraq,
his unrestrained expressions of delight at the prospect of political
prisoners being tortured at Guantanamo Bay, or his racist outbursts
against "cheeky darkies", Paul remains New Zealand's best known, and
undoubtedly most loathed, media personality.
His humanitarian projects sometimes go unnoticed but Paul is much
loved by the many New Zealanders who know the man behind the mask.
As he has often reminded us, Paul is "a GOOD MAN", full of "humour"
and "compassion" and "sensitivity". Paul displayed these fine
qualities in abundance during his high-rating and sincere (though some
might say otherwise!) apology on Monday evening.
PLEASE NOTE: As New Zealand's leading and most respected commentator,
Paul stipulates that the following conditions must be observed to the
last detail:
1.) no white bread;
2.) no orange cheese;
3.) no alcohol of any kind;
4.) NO ABOS; (Paul stresses most sincerely that he is not a racist,
and that this is merely a matter of personal taste)
5.) three bottles of Pierre Cardin No. 8 aftershave lotion;
6.) no processed meats on the deli platter;
7.) a half-dozen bottles of Perrier water;
8.) three bottles of Ramalosa water;
9.) two litres of soda and spring water;
10.) ten fresh towels;
11.) NO ABORIGINES; (Paul welcomes the cultural diversity they bring
to Australia, but he sees no reason why he should encourage them when
he is over there);
12.) M&Ms (but no brown ones);
13.) sushi on demand. This MUST be prepared by a JAPANESE male sushi
chef. (N.B. This is absolutely essential; Paul will not tolerate
sushi prepared by a woman or by a Korean, because he regards Koreans
as the "abos of Asia");
14.) six tubs of Beluga caviare;
15.) one under-age prostitute per night to, be delivered to Paul's
hotel ("darkies" acceptable);
16.) no negro or Polynesian or Maori or Korean or aboriginal
Australian will prepare or touch or serve any food that Paul eats;
17.) music from Paul's best-selling, wildly popular, critically
acclaimed musical album to be piped constantly on sound system in
hotel room;
18.) Five-star hotel accommodation only;
19.) one under-age prostitute per night to be procured for Paul (just
making sure);
20.) absolutely one hundred per cent NO FUCKING ABOS. (Paul says:
"They can fuck off.")
If you would like to contact Paul to speak at your next Klan rally,
pro-torture convention, anti-union meeting, or football club dinner,
contact his management at this address:
http://www.talentonline.co.nz/
M. BREEN
Talentonline Top Talent Manager
BOOK PAUL HOLMES FOR YOUR CHRISTMAS FUNCTION!!!!!
BOOK PAUL HOLMES FOR YOUR CHRISTMAS FUNCTION!!!!!
BOOK PAUL HOLMES FOR YOUR CHRISTMAS FUNCTION!!!!!
Television's most controversial personality, Paul Holmes has changed
the face of news reporting in this country.
His award-winning television program, imaginatively titled "Holmes",
has the greatest overall viewing ratings in New Zealand and if that's
not enough his breakfast show on Newstalk ZB is the number one
breakfast show for news in New Zealand. Paul can always be counted on
to bring a subtly - and sometimes overtly - racist, politically
conservative, and often downright fascist, viewpoint to any interview
or discussion. Paul has won a special place in the hearts of all New
Zealanders with his charming (some might say smarmy) smile, his famed
empathetic stare, and his famous sign-off phrase "And that was OUR
people, tonight".
After completing a BA at Victoria University Paul joined the New
Zealand Broadcasting Corporation in 1972 as an announcer in
Christchurch. For much of the seventies he worked in Britain, Europe
and the United States. Since returning to New Zealand in 1985 his rise
has been dramatic, first as host of the morning talkback show on 2ZB
in Wellington then as host of the new breakfast session on Newstalk
1ZB when the format was changed overnight.
Now the top-rated show host on New Zealand radio, Paul Holmes has won
several awards including Best Talk Host (International) and Best Talk
Personality (Australian) at the 1989 Annual PATER Awards for
International Broadcasting.
Controversial, unorthodox, outrageous, racist, yet always ready to
apologize, Paul Holmes is the person people love to hate. Whether
it's his well publicised harassment of young women, his penetrating -
though some might say sycophantic - interviews, his sneering
denigration of working people, his unquestioning, grovelling support
for the rogue Bush administration and its illegal invasion of Iraq,
his unrestrained expressions of delight at the prospect of political
prisoners being tortured at Guantanamo Bay, or his racist outbursts
against "cheeky darkies", Paul remains New Zealand's best known, and
undoubtedly most loathed, media personality.
His humanitarian projects sometimes go unnoticed but Paul is much
loved by the many New Zealanders who know the man behind the mask.
As he has often reminded us, Paul is "a GOOD MAN", full of "humour"
and "compassion" and "sensitivity". Paul displayed these fine
qualities in abundance during his high-rating and sincere (though some
might say otherwise!) apology on Monday evening.
PLEASE NOTE: As New Zealand's leading and most respected commentator,
Paul stipulates that the following conditions must be observed to the
last detail:
1.) no white bread;
2.) no orange cheese;
3.) no alcohol of any kind;
4.) NO ABOS; (Paul stresses most sincerely that he is not a racist,
and that this is merely a matter of personal taste)
5.) three bottles of Pierre Cardin No. 8 aftershave lotion;
6.) no processed meats on the deli platter;
7.) a half-dozen bottles of Perrier water;
8.) three bottles of Ramalosa water;
9.) two litres of soda and spring water;
10.) ten fresh towels;
11.) NO ABORIGINES; (Paul welcomes the cultural diversity they bring
to Australia, but he sees no reason why he should encourage them when
he is over there);
12.) M&Ms (but no brown ones);
13.) sushi on demand. This MUST be prepared by a JAPANESE male sushi
chef. (N.B. This is absolutely essential; Paul will not tolerate
sushi prepared by a woman or by a Korean, because he regards Koreans
as the "abos of Asia");
14.) six tubs of Beluga caviare;
15.) one under-age prostitute per night to, be delivered to Paul's
hotel ("darkies" acceptable);
16.) no negro or Polynesian or Maori or Korean or aboriginal
Australian will prepare or touch or serve any food that Paul eats;
17.) music from Paul's best-selling, wildly popular, critically
acclaimed musical album to be piped constantly on sound system in
hotel room;
18.) Five-star hotel accommodation only;
19.) one under-age prostitute per night to be procured for Paul (just
making sure);
20.) absolutely one hundred per cent NO FUCKING ABOS. (Paul says:
"They can fuck off.")
If you would like to contact Paul to speak at your next Klan rally,
pro-torture convention, anti-union meeting, or football club dinner,
contact his management at this address:
http://www.talentonline.co.nz/
M. BREEN
Talentonline Top Talent Manager