Post by Hector HeathcliffPost by Will DockeryPost by Johnny GaltThe Lost Loretta Poem....
Now being written by the light of a camp fire...
Down by old man river...
I want to sail away on with her...
That's pretty much a poem in itself.
:)
Now that I have a dozen Loretta poems it isn't so bad the first was washed away in a flood...
We know...
Loretta
The Lost Loretta Poem....
Now being written by the light of a camp fire...
Down by old man river...
I want to sail away on with her...
By General Stink
*****
Touring Loretta
a poem by NancyGene
“Put your pedal to my mettle,”
spoke Lady Bunny.
“I peel your banana seat
your red reflectors
kick your chain then stand
shifting bodies into high gear
burning rubber, tire,
then rest in your basket
steering through my nozzle
pounding air and Fix-a-Flat.”
He did not want to offend her--
he can no longer handle bars.
*****
SHE HO'D
(An Ode)
By Stinky George Sulzbach
I know'd she ho'd
As she ass-shook her way
Down Riverwalk
Where the hobos gawk
Beat off
A tin can symphony
To match her rhythmic sway.
I know'd she ho'd
With purple-painted hair
Displayed her wares
To simple Simon eyes,
Her kisses
Swapped for crack
Smack, pot or booze
And a dry tent
In which to sleep it off.
I know'd she ho'd
With every fleabit tramp,
On bended knees
She sucked disease
And blew
Food Stamps on
Wine and Scooter Pies.
I know'd she ho'd
But what's a man to do
When brown eyes sparkle
By the open fire
That warms the transient camp
And bakes the scent
Of brown-bagged urine
On the Southern night.
I know'd she ho'd
And gaily dosey-doed
From cardboard box
To lean-to, tent
And busker's backyard shed,
Gave head
In high beam'd glare
Of truck stop lots.
But in the early
Morning glow
As streetlights fade
With after hour scents
Of beer and vomit
On the southbound breeze,
I draw Loretta near
Kiss needled scars
And puss-bound scabs
That decorate her loins
And weep for joy
That in this
Rathole world
Somebody cares
For me
A little while...
...Until the wine
Is gone.
*****
Loretta
by the Zidiot, as told to NancyGene
Loretta give betta hetta
Than Gretta
I betta
If’n I metta
And I letta
*****
Loretta Lounges with Bums
a poem by NancyGene
Loretta lounges with bums
as the Chattahoochee comes
through this city of crumbs
a camp of sad outcomes.
Loretta has a ho beau
she won’t be letting him know
what brought her down this low
to work a pay-to-touch show.
Loretta commingles with Zid
both have to live off the grid
not much farther to skid
her perfume’s a can of Rid.
Loretta pawned her last pride
as the bum’s ad hoc bride
their threshold a branch outside
taking skank tent life in stride.
*****
(Untitled)
by Frosty, NancyGene and MMP
I sniff by night
the seat of her Bike
after a peddle so fast;
At moonlight I wander
to a garage over yonder
hoping that aroma will last.
I can't forget her
that sweet treat Loretta,
Doc will sure nuff be mad.........
................
Despite no light
She finds my campsite
Where her Goodwill smock she chucks
I feel for her penis
With ill-disguised keenness
Then remember I’m not with Fat Fuck.
What's this that I'm feeling?
My senses are reeling!
What grow long and hard in my clutch?
My dreams have come true
For she's got a dick, too...
And for years I'd just thought she was butch.
*****
Low Retta
by Frosty
Low Retta
Fo Getter
I got me
a Dockery
*****
When Loretta Doffed Her Sweater
a poem by NancyGene
When Loretta doffed her sweater
it was spelled out in block letters
for the pissbums and their betters
to roar out, “Let’s go get her.”
Zid told the gang to go drown.
He was hauling ‘Retta downtown
to earn some bread and hash browns
from her fried eggs stretching way down.
Now Loretta knew her wardrobe
and of Zid’s unfriendly microbes
a Sophie’s Choice of no hope
as Columbus was a dope slope.
Loretta snatched up slapdash gobbledygook
and smacked Zid with a left hook,
caused Zid to give a strange look
for it was his free review book.
“Stand down, Loretta,” Zid cried,
“don’t harm that book of Doc’s pride.
He doesn’t know that when his muse died
that it screwed him in the backside.”
‘Retta put back on her sweater but
she calmed down only somewhat.
She told Zid that it was clearcut
that he was the biggest camp slut.
She emphasized his slow wit
and constant questions “whatsit?”
With his scent of unwashed armpit,
he would now and never get it.
*****
Ho'retta
a poem by NancyGene and Michael Pendragon
Ho’retta, Columbus transvestite,
peddled through hobo camps most nights.
S/he set her bar high
when s/he wanted a guy
or low when she strapped on her dirt bike.
*****
Loretta Pedals
a poem by Michael Pendragon
Loretta pedals through the meadows to the hobo camps.
She hopes for coke, but often settles for whatever AMPHs
The local tramps who haunt the camps are so inclined to pay.
On fullmoon nights, she drops her pants to dance till break of day;
And all the tramps who aren't yet tight politely turn away.
Not that Loretta looked much better in days when she was young,
Nor that she shakes her globs of fat, nor smells of week old dung --
But when she lets it all hang out, she proves to be well-hung.
*****
Sheets of Loretta*
a poem and song by NancyGene
As I rolled off of the sheets of Loretta,
as I fell out of Loretta one day,
I saw a fat pissbum, all messed in plaid tent shirt,
chest-baring tent shirt was caked with red clay.
Whoa, beat the bum slowly and don’t catch E. coli,
ping the Dunce blarg as his hairy swan song.
Drag him to the Legents, leave him with Zod to lie.
Time he was working, and he’s mooched way too long.
Loretta was outraged when she said, “Pay, Fat Boy,
you sullied my sheets and thought you could deny.
Dumb small town can chide me and think I’m so whorey
when caught with fake breasts and exposed as a guy.”
Bum walked like an otter, stole fifty off his daughter
to cover a steak feast and lead pipe to head.
His books were returned, a lesson was unlearned--
a pawn to his editor, a pissbum unread.
*With apologies to "Streets Of Laredo" (Marty Robbins version). Attributed to Francis Henry Maynard, 1876 - Based on the Irish ballads, "A Handful Of Laurel" and
"The Bard Of Armagh." Traditional.
*****
And the hits just keep on coming!