Pat Robertson Casts Magic Spell Against Hurricane Florence

[John Locke]

Maybe they should just drop old Pat into the eye of the hurricane
where can get up close and personnel when he casts his magic spells:

https://tinyurl.com/y8eyaxkm

"In the name of Jesus, you Hurricane Florence, we speak to you in the
name of Jesus, and we command the storm to cease its forward motion
and go harmlessly into the Atlantic. Go up north away from land and
veer off in the name of Jesus. We declare in the name of the lord that
you shall go no farther, you shall do no damage in this area.

We declare a shield of protection all over Tidewater and we declare a
shield of protection over those innocent people in the path of this
hurricane. In Jesus’ holy name, be out to sea!"

[Rick Johnson]

Post by John Locke
Maybe they should just drop old Pat into the eye of the hurricane

Now that's a reality show i pay to watch!

"The power of Pat compels you!"

"The power of Pat compels you!"

"What the devil...?"

"Ahhhhhhhh!!!!"

A few days in the spin cycle outta knock some sense into him.

Heck, maybe Florence will dump Ol' Pat in Canada so we don't have to suffer his bullshit anymore, eh?

[Kevrob]

Post by Rick Johnson

Post by John Locke
Maybe they should just drop old Pat into the eye of the hurricane

Now that's a reality show i pay to watch!
"The power of Pat compels you!"
"The power of Pat compels you!"
"What the devil...?"
"Ahhhhhhhh!!!!"
A few days in the spin cycle outta knock some sense into him.

I'd put my money on Dee Snider:

@ 8:20

"The power of Elvis compels you!"

Theists "don't know Beans!"

Post by Rick Johnson
Heck, maybe Florence will dump Ol' Pat in Canada so we don't have to suffer his bullshit anymore, eh?

I wouldn't even wish him on Toronto, even if they did
sign John Tavares.

---
Kevin R
a.a #2310

[Street]

Post by John Locke
Maybe they should just drop old Pat into the eye of the hurricane
https://tinyurl.com/y8eyaxkm
"In the name of Jesus, you Hurricane Florence, we speak to you in the
name of Jesus, and we command the storm to cease its forward motion
and go harmlessly into the Atlantic. Go up north away from land and
veer off in the name of Jesus. We declare in the name of the lord that
you shall go no farther, you shall do no damage in this area.
We declare a shield of protection all over Tidewater and we declare a
shield of protection over those innocent people in the path of this
hurricane. In Jesus’ holy name, be out to sea!"

I'm surprised he'd stick his neck out like that. Maybe he's gone senile.

[Atlatl Axolotl]

Post by Street

Post by John Locke
Maybe they should just drop old Pat into the eye of the hurricane
https://tinyurl.com/y8eyaxkm
"In the name of Jesus, you Hurricane Florence, we speak to you in the
name of Jesus, and we command the storm to cease its forward motion
and go harmlessly into the Atlantic. Go up north away from land and
veer off in the name of Jesus. We declare in the name of the lord that
you shall go no farther, you shall do no damage in this area.
We declare a shield of protection all over Tidewater and we declare a
shield of protection over those innocent people in the path of this
hurricane. In Jesus’ holy name, be out to sea!"

I'm surprised he'd stick his neck out like that. Maybe he's gone senile.

Well, he did claim that a similar prayer diverted Hurricane Gloria
back in 1985. And in fact Gloria did miss Virginia Beach -- and went
on to hit the Mid Atlantic states and New England, causing $900,000,000
in damages and eight lives. God must love ol' Pat but hate the coastal elites.


AtlAxo

[JTEM]

Post by John Locke
Maybe they should just drop old Pat into the eye of the hurricane

The only magic words are "Atheist" and "Skeptic"
and even "Science." Recite them enough -- like
during a full moon -- and they will magically
transform idiots into lemmings. Brilliant lemmings,
according to the lemmings, but lemmings none the
less.

Watch out for the cliffs, baby cakes.






-- --

http://jtem.tumblr.com/post/97199197898

[JWS]

Post by JTEM

Post by John Locke
Maybe they should just drop old Pat into the eye of the hurricane

The only magic words are "Atheist" and "Skeptic"
and even "Science." Recite them enough -- like
during a full moon -- and they will magically
transform idiots into lemmings. Brilliant lemmings,
according to the lemmings, but lemmings none the
less.
Watch out for the cliffs, baby cakes.

So this is an experiment then? Pat says god will divert
the hurricane and science says it will hit the coast.
Let's see who has a grip on reality.

Post by JTEM
-- --
http://jtem.tumblr.com/post/97199197898

[Davej]

Post by JTEM

Post by John Locke
Maybe they should just drop old Pat into the eye of the hurricane

The only magic words are "Atheist" and "Skeptic"
and even "Science."

Yeah? So how is your dowsing rod research going? Got any good designs yet?

[Don Martin]

On Tue, 11 Sep 2018 15:46:23 -0700, John Locke

Post by John Locke
Maybe they should just drop old Pat into the eye of the hurricane
https://tinyurl.com/y8eyaxkm
"In the name of Jesus, you Hurricane Florence, we speak to you in the
name of Jesus, and we command the storm to cease its forward motion
and go harmlessly into the Atlantic. Go up north away from land and
veer off in the name of Jesus. We declare in the name of the lord that
you shall go no farther, you shall do no damage in this area.
We declare a shield of protection all over Tidewater and we declare a
shield of protection over those innocent people in the path of this
hurricane. In Jesus’ holy name, be out to sea!"

At least he has stopped asking the lawd to steer the storm away from
Virginia City and straight to Manhattan, to hit all those sinful Jews
instead of his pious redneck flock.

[John Locke]

On Wed, 12 Sep 2018 18:43:10 -0400, Don Martin

Post by Don Martin
On Tue, 11 Sep 2018 15:46:23 -0700, John Locke

Post by John Locke
Maybe they should just drop old Pat into the eye of the hurricane
https://tinyurl.com/y8eyaxkm
"In the name of Jesus, you Hurricane Florence, we speak to you in the
name of Jesus, and we command the storm to cease its forward motion
and go harmlessly into the Atlantic. Go up north away from land and
veer off in the name of Jesus. We declare in the name of the lord that
you shall go no farther, you shall do no damage in this area.
We declare a shield of protection all over Tidewater and we declare a
shield of protection over those innocent people in the path of this
hurricane. In Jesus’ holy name, be out to sea!"

At least he has stopped asking the lawd to steer the storm away from
Virginia City and straight to Manhattan, to hit all those sinful Jews
instead of his pious redneck flock.

...apparently he's decided that inbred rednecks are few notches above
sinful Jews on the naughty meter.

[Don Martin]

On Wed, 12 Sep 2018 21:05:21 -0700, John Locke

Post by John Locke
On Wed, 12 Sep 2018 18:43:10 -0400, Don Martin

Post by Don Martin
On Tue, 11 Sep 2018 15:46:23 -0700, John Locke

Post by John Locke
Maybe they should just drop old Pat into the eye of the hurricane
https://tinyurl.com/y8eyaxkm
"In the name of Jesus, you Hurricane Florence, we speak to you in the
name of Jesus, and we command the storm to cease its forward motion
and go harmlessly into the Atlantic. Go up north away from land and
veer off in the name of Jesus. We declare in the name of the lord that
you shall go no farther, you shall do no damage in this area.
We declare a shield of protection all over Tidewater and we declare a
shield of protection over those innocent people in the path of this
hurricane. In Jesus’ holy name, be out to sea!"

At least he has stopped asking the lawd to steer the storm away from
Virginia City and straight to Manhattan, to hit all those sinful Jews
instead of his pious redneck flock.

...apparently he's decided that inbred rednecks are few notches above
sinful Jews on the naughty meter.

Perhaps he started keeping tabs on all that inbreeding . . . .

Which reminds me of an old joke (at my age, all my jokes are elderly):
A West Virginia brother and sister were snuggling in bed. Sis peers
under the blanket and exclaims, "Gollie! You're hung heavier than Pa
is!"
"Yup," Bubba replies, "that's whut Ma tells me!"

[StanFast]

Post by Don Martin
On Wed, 12 Sep 2018 21:05:21 -0700, John Locke
Perhaps he started keeping tabs on all that inbreeding . . . .
A West Virginia brother and sister were snuggling in bed. Sis peers
under the blanket and exclaims, "Gollie! You're hung heavier than Pa
is!"
"Yup," Bubba replies, "that's whut Ma tells me!"

Aren't those the jokes they tell there about people in rural michigan named robert?

[StanFast]

Post by John Locke
Maybe they should just drop old Pat into the eye of the hurricane
where can get up close and personnel when he

Close.
You actual;ly have to be on an assignment for deity, be in the place where it is, and have no way or where to go.
Then diety will shred the storm to bits

[John Locke]

On Thu, 13 Sep 2018 06:19:12 -0700 (PDT), StanFast

Post by StanFast

Post by John Locke
Maybe they should just drop old Pat into the eye of the hurricane
where can get up close and personnel when he

Close.
You actual;ly have to be on an assignment for deity, be in the place where it is, and have no way or where to go.
Then diety will shred the storm to bits

...that would require the manipulation of air molecules. How would
your god do that ? Giant god fart ?

[Smiler]

Post by John Locke
On Thu, 13 Sep 2018 06:19:12 -0700 (PDT), StanFast

Post by StanFast

Post by John Locke
Maybe they should just drop old Pat into the eye of the hurricane
where can get up close and personnel when he

Close.
You actual;ly have to be on an assignment for deity, be in the place
where it is, and have no way or where to go.
Then diety will shred the storm to bits

...that would require the manipulation of air molecules. How would your
god do that ? Giant god fart ?

But, but, but the hurricane _is_ a giant god fart.

[Davej]

Post by John Locke
Maybe they should just drop old Pat into the eye of the hurricane
https://tinyurl.com/y8eyaxkm

Will the storm prefer blue state N.C. or veer toward
red states S.C. and Georgia ?

[Smiler]

Maybe they should just drop old Pat into the eye of the hurricane where
https://tinyurl.com/y8eyaxkm

Will the storm prefer blue state N.C. or veer toward red states S.C. and
Georgia ?

Now I know what they mean when they talk about 'a political storm' on the
news.